should we list as “Anonymous” for Annual Fund giving?

[Anonymous]

I always put my name because I want people to know. Also the development office prefers names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only place we don’t list as anonymous is for donations to schools. One of our kids’ K-8 has a lot of really wealthy people but the donor base does not include many of them and giving at the school is pretty weak. I’ve volunteered for the annual fund before so I think it’s important for people to be able to see others’ name on that list. Schools who have a lot of families new to independent school life need help training up their families on philanthropy expectations, and I’m happy to be part of the social pressure that forces everyone to give.

+1 We have very middle class jobs and make below the median income. If we can give, why can't others?

[Anonymous]

We prefer to be anonymous donors. We certainly aren't the wealthiest at our school, are likely doing better than some of our peers based on what they have willingly told us, and choose to live modestly in the city. We prefer to not draw attention to ourselves and simply tell our child we contribute to the school financially and through limited volunteering to show that we are invested in her schooling. We also expect that she will do the same one day. A genuine thank you from the Advancement Office is enough. However, I might feel differently if my child was at a school like the PP mentioned. YMMV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our donations are always Anonymous, esp larger ones. We don't want to be solicited by others, but also, it's not necessary for our names to be on something, we know how much we gave and why, and it's not really any one else's business

Ah yes the virtue signal to end all virtue signals.. the ability to tell others you don’t want credit and always donate anonymously. What heroes!!

How is it a “signal” of any sort if no one knows who you are? We do this, and candidly we think it kind of annoys the development people who would prefer it to be more public as a way of pressuring others to donate more. But we have no interest in anyone else knowing what we donated, why would we?

It does annoy the development people. You have no idea how many people say in private that they won’t give because their kid’s friend’s family didn’t give, or the people who live in the $3m house didn’t give, or whatever. As a volunteer who has these conversations, it makes it really hard to encourage participation and to get everyone to give their fair share because people are convinced that family x or y didn’t give so they shouldn’t, either.

Even worse are the families who pretend to be the anonymous donors or allow people to assume they are those people but who never actually gave. Yes, this is a thing. Maybe it’s unique to smaller communities with only 2-3 anonymous gifts?

Yup, as a parent on the annual fund committee, they like the name recognition. Like when only I was on the committee, they asked if husband's name could be on the committee, as we have different last names. I decided I really don't like the strategies of the annual fund. And I feel too much information is shared. Like so and so are separated, divorced, mad at the school. You also know what the families donated before, like 3-4 years worth. You'd also be shocked how some seemingly wealthy people donate so little. I also hated "the ask amount" they asked for from certain families (usually families who school thinks should donate more I think). Anyhow, I've politely declined after that experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our donations are always Anonymous, esp larger ones. We don't want to be solicited by others, but also, it's not necessary for our names to be on something, we know how much we gave and why, and it's not really any one else's business

Ah yes the virtue signal to end all virtue signals.. the ability to tell others you don’t want credit and always donate anonymously. What heroes!!

How is it a “signal” of any sort if no one knows who you are? We do this, and candidly we think it kind of annoys the development people who would prefer it to be more public as a way of pressuring others to donate more. But we have no interest in anyone else knowing what we donated, why would we?

It does annoy the development people. You have no idea how many people say in private that they won’t give because their kid’s friend’s family didn’t give, or the people who live in the $3m house didn’t give, or whatever. As a volunteer who has these conversations, it makes it really hard to encourage participation and to get everyone to give their fair share because people are convinced that family x or y didn’t give so they shouldn’t, either.

Even worse are the families who pretend to be the anonymous donors or allow people to assume they are those people but who never actually gave. Yes, this is a thing. Maybe it’s unique to smaller communities with only 2-3 anonymous gifts?

Yup, as a parent on the annual fund committee, they like the name recognition. Like when only I was on the committee, they asked if husband's name could be on the committee, as we have different last names. I decided I really don't like the strategies of the annual fund. And I feel too much information is shared. Like so and so are separated, divorced, mad at the school. You also know what the families donated before, like 3-4 years worth. You'd also be shocked how some seemingly wealthy people donate so little. I also hated "the ask amount" they asked for from certain families (usually families who school thinks should donate more I think). Anyhow, I've politely declined after that experience.

My cousin is in development at a private school. It is amazing how much info they have on the families. She googles the social media of every family/donor and makes family tree like charts showing connections between people and families. Maybe the moms work together. Maybe they live on the same street. Maybe they used to be married. It has changed my donating habits for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our donations are always Anonymous, esp larger ones. We don't want to be solicited by others, but also, it's not necessary for our names to be on something, we know how much we gave and why, and it's not really any one else's business

Ah yes the virtue signal to end all virtue signals.. the ability to tell others you don’t want credit and always donate anonymously. What heroes!!

How is it a “signal” of any sort if no one knows who you are? We do this, and candidly we think it kind of annoys the development people who would prefer it to be more public as a way of pressuring others to donate more. But we have no interest in anyone else knowing what we donated, why would we?

Because the people who list “anonymous” typically like dropping little hints and will frequently say “well we donate, but we like to stay anonymous” like all the silly posters on this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our donations are always Anonymous, esp larger ones. We don't want to be solicited by others, but also, it's not necessary for our names to be on something, we know how much we gave and why, and it's not really any one else's business

Ah yes the virtue signal to end all virtue signals.. the ability to tell others you don’t want credit and always donate anonymously. What heroes!!

How is it a “signal” of any sort if no one knows who you are? We do this, and candidly we think it kind of annoys the development people who would prefer it to be more public as a way of pressuring others to donate more. But we have no interest in anyone else knowing what we donated, why would we?

Because the people who list “anonymous” typically like dropping little hints and will frequently say “well we donate, but we like to stay anonymous” like all the silly posters on this board.

This was an episode of Curb where larry david and ted danson had wings at a hospital named, and ted did it as "anonymous" but like dropped hints to everyone at the gala.

I see it as a preference - like the rich ppl who live in 10mm homes, we know you have money, its cool.

[Anonymous]

There is no such thing as anonymous donations at private schools. Why bother?

[Anonymous]

We typically give larger amounts anonymously. We are wealthy and flaunting that wealth in a public environment when others cannot do the same makes me very uncomfortable. We also typically break up our anonymous gift (ie a $50k donation to kids school might be recorded as an anonymous $25k donation, an anonymous $15k and an anonymous $10k) and then we will be public about bidding at the auction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our donations are always Anonymous, esp larger ones. We don't want to be solicited by others, but also, it's not necessary for our names to be on something, we know how much we gave and why, and it's not really any one else's business

Ah yes the virtue signal to end all virtue signals.. the ability to tell others you don’t want credit and always donate anonymously. What heroes!!

How is it a “signal” of any sort if no one knows who you are? We do this, and candidly we think it kind of annoys the development people who would prefer it to be more public as a way of pressuring others to donate more. But we have no interest in anyone else knowing what we donated, why would we?

It does annoy the development people. You have no idea how many people say in private that they won’t give because their kid’s friend’s family didn’t give, or the people who live in the $3m house didn’t give, or whatever. As a volunteer who has these conversations, it makes it really hard to encourage participation and to get everyone to give their fair share because people are convinced that family x or y didn’t give so they shouldn’t, either.

Even worse are the families who pretend to be the anonymous donors or allow people to assume they are those people but who never actually gave. Yes, this is a thing. Maybe it’s unique to smaller communities with only 2-3 anonymous gifts?

Yup, as a parent on the annual fund committee, they like the name recognition. Like when only I was on the committee, they asked if husband's name could be on the committee, as we have different last names. I decided I really don't like the strategies of the annual fund. And I feel too much information is shared. Like so and so are separated, divorced, mad at the school. You also know what the families donated before, like 3-4 years worth. You'd also be shocked how some seemingly wealthy people donate so little. I also hated "the ask amount" they asked for from certain families (usually families who school thinks should donate more I think). Anyhow, I've politely declined after that experience.

My cousin is in development at a private school. It is amazing how much info they have on the families. She googles the social media of every family/donor and makes family tree like charts showing connections between people and families. Maybe the moms work together. Maybe they live on the same street. Maybe they used to be married. It has changed my donating habits for sure.

When I was volunteering for development a decade ago at the same time my kid was being bullied, an assistant was working with me on a list and showed me one of those family tree charts. Imagine tiny font and lines on 11 x 18 paper.

I didn’t understand why the bullying response from the school had been so tepid until I realized that Bully was related to 16 other kids who were currently enrolled (tons of last names! Not obvious) and the child, nephew, grandchild, etc of many alumni.

I stopped volunteering for development and applied my kid out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We typically give larger amounts anonymously. We are wealthy and flaunting that wealth in a public environment when others cannot do the same makes me very uncomfortable. We also typically break up our anonymous gift (ie a $50k donation to kids school might be recorded as an anonymous $25k donation, an anonymous $15k and an anonymous $10k) and then we will be public about bidding at the auction.

No sarcasm, but somehow we never thought of doing it like this and will definitely do that in the future. We have occasionally ended up as the lone donors in certain gift categories (not even the highest, but still awkward to be listed all by ourselves) and this would be a better way to manage things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We list as anonymous. We are not wealthy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our donations are always Anonymous, esp larger ones. We don't want to be solicited by others, but also, it's not necessary for our names to be on something, we know how much we gave and why, and it's not really any one else's business

Ah yes the virtue signal to end all virtue signals.. the ability to tell others you don’t want credit and always donate anonymously. What heroes!!

How is it a “signal” of any sort if no one knows who you are? We do this, and candidly we think it kind of annoys the development people who would prefer it to be more public as a way of pressuring others to donate more. But we have no interest in anyone else knowing what we donated, why would we?

Because the people who list “anonymous” typically like dropping little hints and will frequently say “well we donate, but we like to stay anonymous” like all the silly posters on this board.

This was an episode of Curb where larry david and ted danson had wings at a hospital named, and ted did it as "anonymous" but like dropped hints to everyone at the gala.

I see it as a preference - like the rich ppl who live in 10mm homes, we know you have money, its cool.

This was one of the best parts of the Larry/Ted rivalry.

So much of Curb mimics real life in private school DC. Not just for LA!!