Is "on the spectrum" offensive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

Seriously? Why do you need to comment on anyone at all? Are you the office gossip or bully? You sound super unprofessional and I’m sure people that are more mature and in higher level jobs notice.
Do you find these things acceptable to say? “Jack in accounting is really gay, right?” “Sally in marketing seems like a fundamentalist homeschooler.” “My boss is bipolar because I never know if he’s going to be in a good mood.” “ Bob seems kinda ghetto.” Evan in IT is definitely on the spectrum, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it offensive for two different reasons. Although I wouldn't personally confront it or make a big deal, it makes me cringe:

1. when a colleague (or anyone) says that about anyone else who they think is weird, it is annoying. Someone can be weird and not Autistic, and vice versa. It also bothers me when someone says "Oh I'm so ADHD, haha!" or OCD. Those things are real, and not funny or light or the way to explain that you don't like sticky stuff on your hands or that you lose your keys.

2. I am a parent of an Autistic child and I hate it when people say "on the spectrum." I find it exclusively used by parents who want to minimize their child's diagnosis or challenges, or mean "my kid is just a tiny tiny bit Autistic." Autism is not a dirty word. I understand, believe me, my kid reminds me frequently that I said "you are just a tiny tiny bit Autistic," and literally put up my fingers in the tiny tiny motion. So that quote was mine. I didn't want to believe it, and I was trying to tell my kid "you're almost almost normal!" "there's nothing wrong with you!" Which, in hindsight, meant I was saying I don't want this to be wrong with you.

Now I know, there is nothing WRONG with my child. She's different, and AUTISTIC. It's not a dirty word. I don't say she's "on the spectrum" I don't even know what that means. It's not a slide rule like you're either a tiny bit Autistic or like a really really bad Autistic.

NP

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I tend to say DD is autistic or has autism because "on the spectrum" feels like a euphemism and of course there is no need for a euphemism.

That being said DD is young, very verbal and solidly average IQ and often presents to people as NT (she is not) because social demands are not that high at her age. So sometimes saying "autistic" feels like it might confuse people. It's okay to me if they are confused, but I think people say "on the spectrum" to convey low support needs - like they are not claiming their child has profound disabilities.

PP here and yes, this was my kid too. When she was young, I also said "on the spectrum" to help others understand she wasn't "that bad." Now, she's informed me that this was not helpful and minimized her very real support needs. She's very verbal, has a solidly average IQ, and has pretty severe sensory and executive functioning needs that can be pretty disabling. She's done a lot of research and learned that people make a lot of assumptions. I still have the discomfort of saying I have an "autistic teenager" (because that is the language she prefers) and know that people may picture someone who is non-verbal or who has an intellectual disability. She says that's too bad, because a non-verbal person can have very very high IQ and a a very verbal person can have very high support needs in another area.

[Anonymous]

Usually "casually rolled out" to explain quirky or unusual behaviors. How else would you prefer people refer to these behaviors?

[Anonymous]

Google the Euphemism Treadmill.

One generation’s appropriate clinical term is the next generation’s insult. Forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On the spectrum as a term is not offensive. However, saying someone is on the spectrum because you perceive them as quirky can be offensive and derogatory.

This. It's not offensive if it's accurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

This smacks of bullying. It would be interpreted as unprofessional in the workplace and insensitive among aquitances.

Some other options:
"She has a direct communication style"
"He appreciates being told where there is flexibility in this instruction"
"She has a restricted diet"
"He is a homebody who prefers to focus on his hobbies"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.

Quirky is a nice way of saying rude. On the spectrum is a nice way of saying quirky and rude. What you want is for people to excuse rudeness without ever even acknowledging that's what they're doing. That only works with friends and people who like you. For colleagues or acquaintances, it won't work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.

Quirky is a nice way of saying rude. On the spectrum is a nice way of saying quirky and rude. What you want is for people to excuse rudeness without ever even acknowledging that's what they're doing. That only works with friends and people who like you. For colleagues or acquaintances, it won't work.

Yuck. Someone on the spectrum isn't being rude when they don't adhere to your expectations. If you see that someone is offended by something an autistic person is doing, seek to bridge understanding by being descriptive. "Hannah loves to voice her opinions, please let her/us know if you'd prefer we don't discuss X, y, z" "Tom is an enthusiastic storyteller and sometimes needs to be steered to other topics or reminded of your time limits." Whatever the case may be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

Seems like you should keep your opinions to yourself. If you're using "on the spectrum" as code for "weird," then yeah, it's pretty obvious you shouldn't be saying it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

This smacks of bullying. It would be interpreted as unprofessional in the workplace and insensitive among aquitances.

Some other options:
"She has a direct communication style"
"He appreciates being told where there is flexibility in this instruction"
"She has a restricted diet"
"He is a homebody who prefers to focus on his hobbies"

Exactly! These descriptions are also way more useful because they are actually focused on the point at hand and what might be needed or impacted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

No it’s not.

It’s helpful at work so you know the behavior is coming from a source of confusion, not malice.

However, in general, no one is to speak of others’ symptoms, misbehavior patterns, or potential diagnoses in the workplace (or politics, clothing, physiques).

So it’s ultimately a missed opportunity to help and accommodate if people don’t know what is driving the missed social cues or need for extra instruction or narration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

What’s the alternative?

Does saying nothing accomplish something better?

Would being called rude be better?

Like in family court or work performance reviews you just focus on the pattern of behaviors and symptoms over and over and how they negatively affect things. No need to postulate a Dx or label. It doesn’t matter. The chronic symptoms matter. That’s where the buck stops. For others.

For the afflicted it’s up to them to manage their symptoms or find a better environment for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

No it’s not.

It’s helpful at work so you know the behavior is coming from a source of confusion, not malice.

However, in general, no one is to speak of others’ symptoms, misbehavior patterns, or potential diagnoses in the workplace (or politics, clothing, physiques).

So it’s ultimately a missed opportunity to help and accommodate if people don’t know what is driving the missed social cues or need for extra instruction or narration.

No, the general public is not qualified to assess this.

Just be a professional and try to help people that have specific challenges. Referring to them as "on the spectrum" just because you perceive issues with social communication is offensive and smacks of bullying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

What’s the alternative?

Does saying nothing accomplish something better?

Would being called rude be better?

Like in family court or work performance reviews you just focus on the pattern of behaviors and symptoms over and over and how they negatively affect things. No need to postulate a Dx or label. It doesn’t matter. The chronic symptoms matter. That’s where the buck stops. For others.

For the afflicted it’s up to them to manage their symptoms or find a better environment for them.

Multiple people have offered alternatives to making up a BS armchair diagnosis and you keep ignoring them. What TF is your problem.