Catholic school when you are not super Catholic

[Anonymous]

Our children attend one of the Arlington diocese parish elementary schools and we have been extremely happy with the experience. However even as a practicing Catholic, and a product of Catholic schools (elsewhere in the country) myself, I was initially a bit surprised by the extent that religion and catholic values are incorporated into each subject and can’t imagine sending my children there if I wasn’t fully on board with the teachings.

OP - you should be aware that the Arlington diocese is known for being one of the most conservative/traditional in the country so the more laid back approach that some pps have described related to the diocese of Washington or at an independent Catholic school are probably less relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids go to an Arlington diocese Catholic K-8. I would guess you would be similar to 75% of the families. There aren’t that many super devote.

This. There are a ton of lapsed Catholics at these schools.

Then it varies because at our Arlington diocese K-8, most are devout if you define devout as attending Sunday mass, taking kids to confession when they get in trouble at school, praying at home, etc. The newcomers who came during COVID but never left are the outliers.
OP, don't go unless you want the faith formation first. Catholic schools can be great, but a kid with iffy behavior will get punished into submission. Which could be what you want but often does a number on boys.

I would guess that fewer than 25% attend Sunday mass on a regular basis. No one takes the kids to confession but the teachers take them once a year during religion class time.

? At our diocese school they go to confession as a class every three weeks (and are encouraged to also attend outside of school).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The faith will pervade everything - prayers before each class, practice, game. Frequent Mass as a school and expectation to attend Sunday Mass as a family. Know that going in.

We saw a slightly older culture - addressing me as “Mrs DH last name” automatically; using cursive; no individualized instruction. Conservative isn’t the right word exactly, but it was different.

It's old fashioned and it's absolutely the thing that I like best. Manners, discipline, dressing up (belts and collars! My nephew can't deal for 1 meal and that drives me crazy). Addressing adults properly, shaking hands, making eye contact. Memorization, public speaking. It's what most of us remember as being the norm but isn't anymore.

+1 to all of this. You wouldn't find any of these skills in a curriculum, but it comes with the Catholic school package.

+2. Catholic school is how I remember school. Homework, tests, projects, cursive, respect, dress codes. It’s everything public school should still be, but isn’t.

[Anonymous]

One of my kids went to Catholic HS the other is currently in a Jesuit HS. We are not Catholic. They are still required to take Theology and attend Mass (weekly in MS, monthly in HS). I have no problem with that. We knew that was the deal when we applied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The faith will pervade everything - prayers before each class, practice, game. Frequent Mass as a school and expectation to attend Sunday Mass as a family. Know that going in.

We saw a slightly older culture - addressing me as “Mrs DH last name” automatically; using cursive; no individualized instruction. Conservative isn’t the right word exactly, but it was different.

It's old fashioned and it's absolutely the thing that I like best. Manners, discipline, dressing up (belts and collars! My nephew can't deal for 1 meal and that drives me crazy). Addressing adults properly, shaking hands, making eye contact. Memorization, public speaking. It's what most of us remember as being the norm but isn't anymore.

+1 to all of this. You wouldn't find any of these skills in a curriculum, but it comes with the Catholic school package.

+2. Catholic school is how I remember school. Homework, tests, projects, cursive, respect, dress codes. It’s everything public school should still be, but isn’t.

Yep. I always say it’s like my public school was back in the 80s, with some prayers thrown in.

[Anonymous]

Some variation of this question seems to come up every couple of months. Do a little digging if you want all the hashing and rehashing of the topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many threads on this OP- just do a search.

I agree that it does come up often, however the threads are really hard to find when you search because there are so many 'results'.

[Anonymous]

I loved catholic school (and I consider myself a professional working mom who is more liberal) The community. the values, the manners,the "love one another", the academics. Happy memories of childhood. Prolonged innocence.
I am reading Jonathan Haidt's book, and it's so interesting what he says about how important traditions like going to church are for kids and how these kids are the ones who are the least anxious.
“In the virtual world, there is no daily, weekly, or annual calendar that structures when people can and cannot do things,”
"Religious ritual is typically embodied, synchronous, deep, and collective.”
Going to a religious school, church attendance can and should push against the anxious, fractured, distracted that we find ourselves in . Data shows that church attendance matters now more than ever both for those who believe and for those on the fence.

I would try it OP BUT please don't complain about the religion in the school or the teachers.
That's the whole FREAKING POINT! We all want that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved catholic school (and I consider myself a professional working mom who is more liberal) The community. the values, the manners,the "love one another", the academics. Happy memories of childhood. Prolonged innocence.
I am reading Jonathan Haidt's book, and it's so interesting what he says about how important traditions like going to church are for kids and how these kids are the ones who are the least anxious.
“In the virtual world, there is no daily, weekly, or annual calendar that structures when people can and cannot do things,”
"Religious ritual is typically embodied, synchronous, deep, and collective.”
Going to a religious school, church attendance can and should push against the anxious, fractured, distracted that we find ourselves in . Data shows that church attendance matters now more than ever both for those who believe and for those on the fence.

I would try it OP BUT please don't complain about the religion in the school or the teachers.
That's the whole FREAKING POINT! We all want that.

I'll have to check out that book PP. I agree 100% that rituals like going to Mass and being part of a religious community can lessen anxiety and provide purpose. I feel that many of these kids protesting on the streets and on campuses about something they know little about is mainly because they didn't have that anchor growing up, so now you are seeing some of them even consider converting to Islam. Hopefully that won't age well and they will move on to the next trend.

[Anonymous]

I’m Catholic and we send out kids to an Episcopal school now (we were waitlisted at our first choice Catholic K-8); however one kid is going to Catholic high school in the Fall and the younger sibling will also.

I am offended when people go to Catholic school to escape public and treat the religious part of going to a Catholic school as an inconvenient by product. It is actually “the thing” and not a byproduct. Your dismissiveness of Catholic teachings and traditions in pursuit of any alternative to public is insulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The faith will pervade everything - prayers before each class, practice, game. Frequent Mass as a school and expectation to attend Sunday Mass as a family. Know that going in.

We saw a slightly older culture - addressing me as “Mrs DH last name” automatically; using cursive; no individualized instruction. Conservative isn’t the right word exactly, but it was different.

It's old fashioned and it's absolutely the thing that I like best. Manners, discipline, dressing up (belts and collars! My nephew can't deal for 1 meal and that drives me crazy). Addressing adults properly, shaking hands, making eye contact. Memorization, public speaking. It's what most of us remember as being the norm but isn't anymore.

This is it. I love it and my DD does as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m Catholic and we send out kids to an Episcopal school now (we were waitlisted at our first choice Catholic K-8); however one kid is going to Catholic high school in the Fall and the younger sibling will also.

I am offended when people go to Catholic school to escape public and treat the religious part of going to a Catholic school as an inconvenient by product. It is actually “the thing” and not a byproduct. Your dismissiveness of Catholic teachings and traditions in pursuit of any alternative to public is insulting.

Do you think the Episcopalians are offended you used their school as a convenient fall-back?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I loved catholic school (and I consider myself a professional working mom who is more liberal) The community. the values, the manners,the "love one another", the academics. Happy memories of childhood. Prolonged innocence.
I am reading Jonathan Haidt's book, and it's so interesting what he says about how important traditions like going to church are for kids and how these kids are the ones who are the least anxious.
“In the virtual world, there is no daily, weekly, or annual calendar that structures when people can and cannot do things,”
"Religious ritual is typically embodied, synchronous, deep, and collective.”
Going to a religious school, church attendance can and should push against the anxious, fractured, distracted that we find ourselves in . Data shows that church attendance matters now more than ever both for those who believe and for those on the fence.

I would try it OP BUT please don't complain about the religion in the school or the teachers.
That's the whole FREAKING POINT! We all want that.

I’m definitely a Cafeteria Catholic and I agree with you. While I disagree with the church’s stance on certain issues, I love Catholic schools and value attending mass for the reasons you mentioned.

[Anonymous]

We did for elementary and found 25% of the families were not really religious, 50% liked Catholic school as they didn't go to church on the weekends anymore, 25% were very religious. Our school wasn't super old school so it was ok for us. You sort of have to determine what your child might be missing during the time when religion is covered and if you mind that. And if your values generally align with the school (some are more old school than others). For what it's worth, now that my kids are in HS, neither are religious or want to go to religious schools.

[Anonymous]

It would be really interesting if people named their schools. I think how religious the people are could vary greatly by school/parish.