Did you receive an thank you for your donation to your private school?

[Anonymous]

Wow. That's kind of pathetic. We gave $250 to our private, and got a thank you letter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

I thank someone who buys me a cup of coffee. I don’t think expecting an automated form email for a donation to an organization that depends on donations is asking too much. To not put in that effort feels a bit entitled and ungrateful. For me, it’s not about the gratification, it’s more about confirmation/acknowledging it. Without any sort of confirmation, the money feels like it’s just going into a black hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

Nobody is being a demanding jerk over a thank you. My donations are charity and there are thousands of other places it can go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. An email, a card in the mail and a receipt for taxes that also said TY.

They already used their DAF contribution for a charitable deduction, so they do not get a tax letter. With donations at that size, I doubt OP itemizes to need tax letters anyway. But yes, of course, it's basic best practice to thank donors, even those who are directing the gift from a fund that they gave to previously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

I thank someone who buys me a cup of coffee. I don’t think expecting an automated form email for a donation to an organization that depends on donations is asking too much. To not put in that effort feels a bit entitled and ungrateful. For me, it’s not about the gratification, it’s more about confirmation/acknowledging it. Without any sort of confirmation, the money feels like it’s just going into a black hole.

What kills me about donors is that they think that staff at private schools, who are simply doing their jobs, are "entitled" and "ungrateful." It's a job. That gift isn't personal to them. Is it unprofessional to not make sure everyone, even those who are directing gifts from charitable funds, get a thank you? Of course.

[Anonymous]

We normally get a formal letter from development with a written note from HOS when we donate to the annual fund. We also get some sort of thank you for the auction if we donate there (in addition to ticket purchase) - I don't think the HOS writes a note.

Our school also has parents write thank you notes for annual fund donations - but this is for the subset of families that are contacted by parent volunteers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

Nobody is being a demanding jerk over a thank you. My donations are charity and there are thousands of other places it can go.

Again, OP, not your donation anymore. You wanted to use a DAF, probably to offset some capital gains or use it some other way to save on taxes in one year. Now you give away small gifts from that over the years and want to demand these thank yous. I am sure that school will be happy for you to take your money and your kid elsewhere.

As an aside, while my private did pretty routinely send thank yous--and we gave 6-figures (one 7-figure to a capital campaign), one time I got the form letter with the obligatory hand-written "Thanks" from the head--but he added, "so great sitting with you at dinner the other night." He had actually been seated with my 83-year-old MIL. Bad form to not know who you're thanking. Nonetheless, I do know how busy dev staff are and what a demoralizing job it can be, especially with small donors like OP who are unforgiving of mistakes, so I said nothing, of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

Nobody is being a demanding jerk over a thank you. My donations are charity and there are thousands of other places it can go.

Again, OP, not your donation anymore. You wanted to use a DAF, probably to offset some capital gains or use it some other way to save on taxes in one year. Now you give away small gifts from that over the years and want to demand these thank yous. I am sure that school will be happy for you to take your money and your kid elsewhere.

As an aside, while my private did pretty routinely send thank yous--and we gave 6-figures (one 7-figure to a capital campaign), one time I got the form letter with the obligatory hand-written "Thanks" from the head--but he added, "so great sitting with you at dinner the other night." He had actually been seated with my 83-year-old MIL. Bad form to not know who you're thanking. Nonetheless, I do know how busy dev staff are and what a demoralizing job it can be, especially with small donors like OP who are unforgiving of mistakes, so I said nothing, of course.

The DAF funds can go anywhere so why donate to such a poorly run organization that can't perform the basic duties of a development office?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

Nobody is being a demanding jerk over a thank you. My donations are charity and there are thousands of other places it can go.

Again, OP, not your donation anymore. You wanted to use a DAF, probably to offset some capital gains or use it some other way to save on taxes in one year. Now you give away small gifts from that over the years and want to demand these thank yous. I am sure that school will be happy for you to take your money and your kid elsewhere.

As an aside, while my private did pretty routinely send thank yous--and we gave 6-figures (one 7-figure to a capital campaign), one time I got the form letter with the obligatory hand-written "Thanks" from the head--but he added, "so great sitting with you at dinner the other night." He had actually been seated with my 83-year-old MIL. Bad form to not know who you're thanking. Nonetheless, I do know how busy dev staff are and what a demoralizing job it can be, especially with small donors like OP who are unforgiving of mistakes, so I said nothing, of course.

I mean a DAF contribution is still a contribution from the original donor. To say otherwise is absurd. They control the money.

And your story of giving well over 1M to a school and the headmaster not even knowing who you are is obscene. If they can’t figure out who their large donors are, this seems like a sign of a poorly run organization.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

I thank someone who buys me a cup of coffee. I don’t think expecting an automated form email for a donation to an organization that depends on donations is asking too much. To not put in that effort feels a bit entitled and ungrateful. For me, it’s not about the gratification, it’s more about confirmation/acknowledging it. Without any sort of confirmation, the money feels like it’s just going into a black hole.

What kills me about donors is that they think that staff at private schools, who are simply doing their jobs, are "entitled" and "ungrateful." It's a job. That gift isn't personal to them. Is it unprofessional to not make sure everyone, even those who are directing gifts from charitable funds, get a thank you? Of course.

I’m not expecting a ticker tape parade. An automated form letter from the development office, not even the head of development, would be sufficient. Failure to do this simple task is a major signal of not taking donor contributions seriously.

And yes, development staff, like you, come across as entitled and ungrateful all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

Nobody is being a demanding jerk over a thank you. My donations are charity and there are thousands of other places it can go.

Again, OP, not your donation anymore. You wanted to use a DAF, probably to offset some capital gains or use it some other way to save on taxes in one year. Now you give away small gifts from that over the years and want to demand these thank yous. I am sure that school will be happy for you to take your money and your kid elsewhere.

As an aside, while my private did pretty routinely send thank yous--and we gave 6-figures (one 7-figure to a capital campaign), one time I got the form letter with the obligatory hand-written "Thanks" from the head--but he added, "so great sitting with you at dinner the other night." He had actually been seated with my 83-year-old MIL. Bad form to not know who you're thanking. Nonetheless, I do know how busy dev staff are and what a demoralizing job it can be, especially with small donors like OP who are unforgiving of mistakes, so I said nothing, of course.

I mean a DAF contribution is still a contribution from the original donor. To say otherwise is absurd. They control the money.

And your story of giving well over 1M to a school and the headmaster not even knowing who you are is obscene. If they can’t figure out who their large donors are, this seems like a sign of a poorly run organization.

Obscene?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

Nobody is being a demanding jerk over a thank you. My donations are charity and there are thousands of other places it can go.

Again, OP, not your donation anymore. You wanted to use a DAF, probably to offset some capital gains or use it some other way to save on taxes in one year. Now you give away small gifts from that over the years and want to demand these thank yous. I am sure that school will be happy for you to take your money and your kid elsewhere.

As an aside, while my private did pretty routinely send thank yous--and we gave 6-figures (one 7-figure to a capital campaign), one time I got the form letter with the obligatory hand-written "Thanks" from the head--but he added, "so great sitting with you at dinner the other night." He had actually been seated with my 83-year-old MIL. Bad form to not know who you're thanking. Nonetheless, I do know how busy dev staff are and what a demoralizing job it can be, especially with small donors like OP who are unforgiving of mistakes, so I said nothing, of course.

I mean a DAF contribution is still a contribution from the original donor. To say otherwise is absurd. They control the money.

And your story of giving well over 1M to a school and the headmaster not even knowing who you are is obscene. If they can’t figure out who their large donors are, this seems like a sign of a poorly run organization.

Obscene?

Haha so disrespectful to give over a million and then be confused for someone else entirely. And then to not say anything at all lol. Grow a pair.

[Anonymous]

If a development office cannot acknowledge gifts appropriately, they are probably also not tracking them correctly. If basic things like this are difficult for an institution, it probably has many other problems and is poorly run behind the scenes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Devil's advocate here. I work in development (not in a private school), and while we always send thank yous to donors who direct contributions from DAFs, the paperwork that comes from some of these is murky and in some instances makes it sound as if no thank you should be sent. We know of course, that there's nothing wrong with ever saying thank you, but it can be confusing. Remember, that money was not yours. You gave it to a DAF and got your deduction. Now you can say where you want it to go, in most cases, but it wasn't yours anymore. Just another point of view. DAFs are the scourge of fundraisers.

This. I have a role in this for a volunteer org and I'm confused by DAF's.


But generally support the org or don't. Don't a demanding jerk over a TYs that are not need for tax purposes.

Nobody is being a demanding jerk over a thank you. My donations are charity and there are thousands of other places it can go.

Again, OP, not your donation anymore. You wanted to use a DAF, probably to offset some capital gains or use it some other way to save on taxes in one year. Now you give away small gifts from that over the years and want to demand these thank yous. I am sure that school will be happy for you to take your money and your kid elsewhere.

As an aside, while my private did pretty routinely send thank yous--and we gave 6-figures (one 7-figure to a capital campaign), one time I got the form letter with the obligatory hand-written "Thanks" from the head--but he added, "so great sitting with you at dinner the other night." He had actually been seated with my 83-year-old MIL. Bad form to not know who you're thanking. Nonetheless, I do know how busy dev staff are and what a demoralizing job it can be, especially with small donors like OP who are unforgiving of mistakes, so I said nothing, of course.

OP here. The fund is in our names, so I don't see any cause for confusion or misidentification. I never claimed to be a large donor, but we have used our fund to donate to other private schools for our other kids and those schools were always very gracious with their thanks and even occasional phone calls. I was just curious what was typical, and it appears notes of thanks ARE typical. However, I am not letting the school's obvious flaw in their development office impact our intention to make future donations because despite this flaw, it's a great school. I just wonder if they could be more successful in their fundraising efforts if they thanked people rather than just taking in the money as it were an expectation.