What do you tell your daughter when she says that Bristol is cool????

[Anonymous]

It was not my daughter, it was my 10 year old niece. She was giggling, so I assume that she knew it was a silly thing to say, but I do worry about the example being set.
Most political scandals have been about a man in his 40's or 50's cheating on his wife. I don't have to deal with that as a parent of minor children. But in this case, my young children my very well be influenced.

[Anonymous]

I'd start to teach her about where babies come from and birth control. And all the things she cannot do if she becomes a teen mom.

[Anonymous]

I would simply ask her what she thinks is cool (without a snarky attitude) and let her talk. You may learn quite a bit...

[Anonymous]

The thing that she needs to know is that you can't force her boyfriend to marry her like the Palins can.

[Anonymous]

And all the things she cannot do if she becomes a teen mom.

OMG this totally worked on me when I was as a pre-teen / teen. My very strict mom made clear from the time I was probably 11 or 12 that if I ever got pregnant out-of-wedlock, as they used to say, I was on. my. own. At $3.35 an hour minimum wage, that didn't sound so hot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would simply ask her what she thinks is cool (without a snarky attitude) and let her talk. You may learn quite a bit...

This sounds like really good advice to me. Pre-teens and teens tend to listen more if you draw them out and listen to them first.

And on this topic, I admit I'm quite curious. What exactly does she think is cool about this? If you ask, please share with the rest of us!

[Anonymous]

Totally agree with the 20:31 poster. You will have much more success by drawing her out than just spouting a speech at her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was not my daughter, it was my 10 year old niece. She was giggling, so I assume that she knew it was a silly thing to say, but I do worry about the example being set.
Most political scandals have been about a man in his 40's or 50's cheating on his wife. I don't have to deal with that as a parent of minor children. But in this case, my young children my very well be influenced.

Here's the thing; it's not really a political scandal. It's the family of a politician, yes; but the politician herself didn't directly do anything wrong (like said 40 and 50 year olds cheating on their wives). I would actually have a more difficult time explaining that one to my kids; they are grown men who should have known better AND were in a position of power and likely to get caught/exposed.

If a kid thinks Bristol is cool for being pregnant, I'm sure she thinks the same thing about all of the celebrities/celebrity siblings that have been in the news for years now. I think it would be interesting to know why she thinks it's cool. First, younger (but old enough) kids probably glamorize babies--how fun to get to take care of this cute little thing all the time? Way better than middle school, right? The thought makes them feel grown up. Plus, if they are having a baby, surely they have a really cool boyfriend. I totally agree with pointing out the consequences (and not as they might apply to a child living a privileged life who would get lots of help)-- no more going out with friends, no going away to college, no more of the fun things they currently envision for their teenage life. Not so cool anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And all the things she cannot do if she becomes a teen mom.

OMG this totally worked on me when I was as a pre-teen / teen. My very strict mom made clear from the time I was probably 11 or 12 that if I ever got pregnant out-of-wedlock, as they used to say, I was on. my. own. At $3.35 an hour minimum wage, that didn't sound so hot.

Same here. This worked with all three of us girls. I think we all waited until we were out of the house - fear was very effective. Back to the poster - I do think the idea of hearing what your daughter has to say is good - she may just think the name or the clothes are cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing that she needs to know is that you can't force her boyfriend to marry her like the Palins can.

How the heck do you know that there is any "forcing" going on. These kinds of comments just tick me off.

[Anonymous]

What would I tell her?

"Go to your room, and don't come out until you're 25 and married".

[zumbamama]

ask your niece if its cooler to be changing poopy diapers than to go to prom with her friends. My teen has vowed never to have children (I'm sure that will change in time) because she knows how "uncool" it can be watching my 2 little ones that drive her nuts after a couple hours.

[Anonymous]

Thanks 20:31 and 21:54! Your posts also reminded me that this is also an opportunity to explore empathy for another young girl. Is it ever "cool" to have your feelings and problems broadcast on the news? Laughing about it is just plain mean. This doesn't have to be about babies and sex (never my favorite auntie topic ). For every Jamie-Lynn, Bristol or the next celebrity Juno , there is a real girl just like them who probably doesn't feel too good about everyone talking about her.

[Anonymous]

zumbamama wrote:ask your niece if its cooler to be changing poopy diapers than to go to prom with her friends. My teen has vowed never to have children (I'm sure that will change in time) because she knows how "uncool" it can be watching my 2 little ones that drive her nuts after a couple hours.

I changed some poopy diapers for my cousin when I was 10. I also saw a couple of teen moms when I was a pre-teen/teen and was scared to death if it happened to me. The teen moms were not glamorous and were not academically inclined. After these experiences, I was in no rush to get married and churn out babies.

[Anonymous]

This PP exemplifies the truth, what you experience is real, what is lectured to you is well.....blah, blah, blah. Any lecturing advice is out dated and fear driven.