s/o how did your affair at work start

[Anonymous]

curious - there is another post where posters are talking about affairs at work

i am curious - how did it officially start? working late one night? too much to drink at a work happy hour? business trip?

tell your story.

[Anonymous]

Already friends...then a business trip...

[Anonymous]

bump

[Anonymous]

what happened on the biz trip? did you go to his (or her?) room? drop off some papers for the morning?

details, please

[Anonymous]

I wasn't married yet, but was in a long term relationship. A new project started and the team was working long hours. I became good friends with an employee from another office. We started 'innocently' flirting and talking more. One night we all went out for happy hour, blah blah blah. I can't blame the alcohol. Looking back, we simply got too close. It was a (painful) lesson learned.

What's funny is that when I was an intern years ago, there were 2 older employees at that company who had been having a blatant affair for almost 10 years. I remember thinking how disgusting they were and couldn't believe how they would do that to their families, but now I see how easily it can happen if you leave an opening in your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Yep...similar thing happened to me. Couldn't believe people could do that, until I did.

[Anonymous]

Business trips make it too simple.
You are friends with a woman in the office.
You listen to her talk about her life.
She feels she can trust you.
On a business trip a couple of drinks flow.
It is a nice hotel with well-appointed rooms and nobody back home is ever going to find out as long as lips stay sealed.
You never thought you would do this but the chance at bonding with someone new is too much to resist.
Now its on to a shower together, some playful bantering, and skin on skin.

[Anonymous]

Business trip with him and a bunch of other coworkers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Business trip with him and a bunch of other coworkers

I think that is called a gang-bang.

[Anonymous]

My DH - same story. Already friends, close coworkers that liked to go out drinking. One woman having marriage issues, started drunkenly talking to my husband. They bonded over this intimate conversation, left the group for a drink on their own, he invited her up to his room to chat more, both totally drunk, ended up having sex.

It really is quite shocking how easily this can happen. Read "not just friends" for info on boundaries - once you start to cross a few, especially combined with alcohol, it is a slippery slope straight into the hotel bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH - same story. Already friends, close coworkers that liked to go out drinking. One woman having marriage issues, started drunkenly talking to my husband. They bonded over this intimate conversation, left the group for a drink on their own, he invited her up to his room to chat more, both totally drunk, ended up having sex.

It really is quite shocking how easily this can happen. Read "not just friends" for info on boundaries - once you start to cross a few, especially combined with alcohol, it is a slippery slope straight into the hotel bed.

Even if it doesn't turn physical, the whole thing can be very painful and destroy a marriage. Having your spouse bond so completely with someone else in an intimate way is heartbreaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH - same story. Already friends, close coworkers that liked to go out drinking. One woman having marriage issues, started drunkenly talking to my husband. They bonded over this intimate conversation, left the group for a drink on their own, he invited her up to his room to chat more, both totally drunk, ended up having sex.

It really is quite shocking how easily this can happen. Read "not just friends" for info on boundaries - once you start to cross a few, especially combined with alcohol, it is a slippery slope straight into the hotel bed.

Even if it doesn't turn physical, the whole thing can be very painful and destroy a marriage. Having your spouse bond so completely with someone else in an intimate way is heartbreaking.

Sure. Business trip + spouse with young kids having typical missing-my-prekid-self feelings + alcohol + similarly situated fun coworkers has equaled many a fling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH - same story. Already friends, close coworkers that liked to go out drinking. One woman having marriage issues, started drunkenly talking to my husband. They bonded over this intimate conversation, left the group for a drink on their own, he invited her up to his room to chat more, both totally drunk, ended up having sex.

It really is quite shocking how easily this can happen. Read "not just friends" for info on boundaries - once you start to cross a few, especially combined with alcohol, it is a slippery slope straight into the hotel bed.

Even if it doesn't turn physical, the whole thing can be very painful and destroy a marriage. Having your spouse bond so completely with someone else in an intimate way is heartbreaking.

I have read that when a wife has an affair, the man is more concerned about the sex (was he better in bed, have a bigger penis?) but when a husband has an affair, the wife fears that he fell in love with another woman. For me, both aspects are painful. I have a difficult time separating sex from emotions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH - same story. Already friends, close coworkers that liked to go out drinking. One woman having marriage issues, started drunkenly talking to my husband. They bonded over this intimate conversation, left the group for a drink on their own, he invited her up to his room to chat more, both totally drunk, ended up having sex.

It really is quite shocking how easily this can happen. Read "not just friends" for info on boundaries - once you start to cross a few, especially combined with alcohol, it is a slippery slope straight into the hotel bed.

The reality is that many times, a woman just wants someone who will listen to her. When a man offers that, it is off to the races.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH - same story. Already friends, close coworkers that liked to go out drinking. One woman having marriage issues, started drunkenly talking to my husband. They bonded over this intimate conversation, left the group for a drink on their own, he invited her up to his room to chat more, both totally drunk, ended up having sex.

It really is quite shocking how easily this can happen. Read "not just friends" for info on boundaries - once you start to cross a few, especially combined with alcohol, it is a slippery slope straight into the hotel bed.

This is what worries me about my DH, who often travels. He is not the type of guy who is going to go into a bar and pick up a woman. But he is very likeable and I can just see some a co-worker pouring her heart out while he listens attentively.