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Is it very uncommon to NOT have a first birthday party?
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Anonymous
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I have been to a few 1st birthday parties recently and am really tempted to not have one for DD, who turns 1 in October. (Instead, I am tempted to plan a nice weekend away for the family.)
Is that really uncommon? I wonder if my friends (with small kids) will ask me why I chose not to have one... |
Anonymous
| My daughter did not have a party with friends until she turned 5. My son is turning 4 next week and we will just have cake for him at home with the family. |
Anonymous
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ps
I just told my friends that I did not feel like having one. |
Anonymous
| No, it's not that uncommon not to have a party for a one year old. As someone said recently on another post, the 1 year old birthday party is more for the parents than the kid. I think your idea of a family weekend away is a perfect celebration, personally. |
Anonymous
| I think that first birthday parties are really for the parents - to celebrate making it through that first year. It's not like the child will remember any of it, or even care what kind of part s/he had. So you should do what YOU want to do. If that is a weekend away - so be it. If friends ask you about it, just say that you celebrated it on your trip. Enjoy! |
Anonymous
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We didn't have one and refused to let the relatives even visit that week. One of my few smart moves.
Your friends don't care, and your family will be annoyed with you no matter what you do. 
(The relos did show up for 2nd birthday. I worked SO HARD and had no time to enjoy because I was busy being waitress for two days. Should've said "no" to that one, too. Kid couldn't have cared less.) |
Anonymous
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I can't say whether it's common or not - but our son's first birthday "party" consisted of mom, dad, grandma and his aunt. And frankly, he was overwhelmed at that. He had just gotten up from his afternoon nap and we had cupcakes and balloons, etc. He looked scared and didn't take a single bite of a cupcake. For his second birthday, we had no family (we don't have any family in the area - for the first they came to town). We had a couple come over who are good friends of ours for an hour or so on a Sunday afternoon. We had a firetruck cake and some presents. Again, he didn't take a bite. (As you might have guessed, he's not into sweets...) They were here an hour during of which I spent about half of it in the bathroom because I developed the 24 or 48 flu about ten minutes before they arrived. So, that was memorable.
So no, not everyone makes a huge deal about first birthday parties. They indeed really are for the parents, and the pictures - though we got some really cute pictures of him anyway with a hat on for two seconds, some balloons and smashing his fingers in a cupcake. Sometimes I feel a little guilty/sad when I read/hear about the huge deal that others make about first bday parties, but then I don't worry about it and think we did what was right for us, and frankly, feasible at the time. |
Anonymous
| I didn't, for 1st or 2nd. they are too small and don't remember anything. Of course, cake and candles with the family for photo op, but that's it! |
Anonymous
| 1st birthday was cake and a balloon with mom and dad. I think people who like to make a show of stuff (and I don't mean that negatively, I have friends that just love to entertain) tend to throw toddler birthday parties. Otherwise, I think they're pretty much not necessary. |
Anonymous
| For both our sons 1st birthdays we went away on a little family trip. For their 2nd we had to open it up to family (who were peeved beyond belief that we hadn't had a party for their 1st) and I wish we had gone away again it was so stressful. |
Anonymous
| I think you should do what you want. We went to the zoo that day with grandma and later had cake with dad when he got home and this was fine for us. But..I hate when people jump all over folks who decide to have a big shindig-some people love having parties and good for them-I love going to parties but not so much planning my own as I have yet to tap my inner Martha Stewart. |
Anonymous
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I have three (3) children and we didn't have a birthday party for any of them until 5 years old. They won't remember much before that so anything you do is really to entertain yourself. I have had to attend a couple of 1 and 2 birthdays of friends, and it was no fun for my children or the guest of honor. What's fun is when they are 7 through 10 and you get into the surprise birthday parties. Then it's just fun for everyone and the real memories are made there. Really, a cupcake and a ball are more than adequate for the first several birthdays. If you feel like spending money or commemorating the day - take yourself to the spa with a couple of friends! You deserve to celebrate!
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Anonymous
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We're not having one. Like the PPs said, it's really for the parents. DBs don't know one way or the other.
I do like the suggestion of spending money on a day at the spa instead! |
Anonymous
| The first birthday is such a time for Mom and Dad to reflect on the joys, anxiety and amazement of that day exactly one year ago. The baby could care less. So I love your idea of a special family weekend away to recognize the occasion. |
Anonymous
| We had the stomach flu instead of a party. |