Adjusting to a move with teens...just exhausted (VENT)

[Anonymous]

... by arrangements to enroll two kids in new schools, find new doctors, deal with fights about DD and DS sharing one bathroom, worries about leaving old friends and making new ones, learner's permit, driver's ed, braces. This on top of a power outage just days after the movers dropped off our things -- we weren't even unpacked yet! Cannot take it anymore -- so tired.

Vent is now officially over.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there. Things can only get better!

[Anonymous]

Welcome!

[Anonymous]

OP again. Thanks guys! I needed the encouragement!

[Anonymous]

I went through this two years ago. Still have not recovered! I'm not kidding. It was traumatic. No power loss, but it was totally wrenching to move from my settled life into a new one here. We moved for a job transfer that was positive overall, and I love being back on the East Coast, but other than those positives, everything else has been mostly negative for me. Finding doctors is the first problem, and orthodontists, and other specialists, but that's only the beginning. My mind is still in my old house, in my old town, with my old resources for EVERYTHING. Here, I can't remember where anything is, can't remember anyone's names, still do not feel at home at all. Moving with teens is the worst time to move. They still talk about "home" wistfully, which breaks my heart.

I feel bereft because of this move, despite the positives. It uprooted me at a time when I have not been able (and may never be able) to recover. There, my lament is over.
I hope you recover sooner! Best of luck to you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Your kids can't share a bathroom? Really? Sounds like you can't handle a move with teens because your teens are brats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids can't share a bathroom? Really? Sounds like you can't handle a move with teens because your teens are brats.

And welcome to DCUMville! You're now officially a member!

[Anonymous]

Welcome OP! Have you found a neighborhood listserv? Hopefully one geared towards parents or with lost of families one it? That will help you a lot in sussing things out.

I never moved with kids but I moved many many times as a young adult and remember the disoriented feeling of not knowing where to go for random stuff like, I needed buttons and cloth and felt-- where was the nearest fabric store? Post office? UPS? Craft store? Place to get the special kind of (whatever) I needed? Funky Christmas ornament stuff? LIbrary?

I found it was helpful to make a list of all the places I would go in a season and then get directions/hours to each place. Nowadays I'd program them into my GPS. Maybe you could ask one of your teens to take on that kind of a project?

The good thing is once you get some of the items on your to do list done, you will feel monumentally better. It's not incremental so much as exponential I think. ALso it helps to set up some routines that you do as a family right away in a new place. Like, go to the same restaurant for dinner one night every week (or something cheaper).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went through this two years ago. Still have not recovered! I'm not kidding. It was traumatic. No power loss, but it was totally wrenching to move from my settled life into a new one here. We moved for a job transfer that was positive overall, and I love being back on the East Coast, but other than those positives, everything else has been mostly negative for me. Finding doctors is the first problem, and orthodontists, and other specialists, but that's only the beginning. My mind is still in my old house, in my old town, with my old resources for EVERYTHING. Here, I can't remember where anything is, can't remember anyone's names, still do not feel at home at all. Moving with teens is the worst time to move. They still talk about "home" wistfully, which breaks my heart.

I feel bereft because of this move, despite the positives. It uprooted me at a time when I have not been able (and may never be able) to recover. There, my lament is over.
I hope you recover sooner! Best of luck to you, OP.

Really? I find this shocking that it's hard to find things in this area. Tons of doctors, dentist, orthodontists, - plenty of review sites, plenty of people willing to give you feedback on who they use.

And today with GPS? Can't be that hard to find shopping, offices, etc. And for that fact, so many chain stores in this area are duplicated within a few miles of each other so if you take a wrong turn no worries you will probably be close to the store just at a different location.

[Anonymous]

Welcome to the area!

We moved when I was 14. My parents made a list of different things we needed to figure out in the new neighborhood like doctors, dentist, grocery store, etc, and assigned them to my sisters and I. I researched what dentist we should go to that would take my parent's insurance, filled out the majority of the paperwork to make us new patients, etc. I felt really grown up being trusted to do this, and it was helpful to learn how to do that sort of thing young. So that's something to consider.

[Anonymous]

Okay, 9:07. You are not helpful. I am guessing you have not moved from on region to another.

We move all the time due to my husband's career. And I will tell you that finding things such as doctors, dentists, whatever, is one of the most difficult things to do. Not physically difficult (duh, OP is perfectly aware of how to open her provider listing and use the internet) but emotionally difficult. Moving turns your world upside down, and you have to find a way to create home with no network, family, or friends. It is tough enough to do this when your kids are helpful, positive and excited. But to hold all that responsibility for creating a new home when your kids are upset about moving can be lonely, frustrating or even paralyzing. Anyone who has moved far away with kids understands this. You obviously do not.

So don't contribute PP is you have nothing worthwhile to offer.

[Anonymous]

I moved a lot as a child/teen, including to different countries. While I didn't have to deal with the doctor/dentist thing, the rest of it wasn't that hard to do and my sibling and I adapted pretty well. It was a good experience for us and I'm sure it will be for your kids as well.

OP, are you the poster moving from NJ to the Walter Johnson district? If so there are tons of resources nearby. Bethesda isn't too hard to navigate and you shouldn't have to go too far afield to find doctors/dentists, shopping, restaurants, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids can't share a bathroom? Really? Sounds like you can't handle a move with teens because your teens are brats.

And welcome to DCUMville! You're now officially a member!

OP here. Yup, kids are brats. In fact, we all spoiled brats and deserving of your complete disdain and censure. Thanks for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I moved a lot as a child/teen, including to different countries. While I didn't have to deal with the doctor/dentist thing, the rest of it wasn't that hard to do and my sibling and I adapted pretty well. It was a good experience for us and I'm sure it will be for your kids as well.

OP, are you the poster moving from NJ to the Walter Johnson district? If so there are tons of resources nearby. Bethesda isn't too hard to navigate and you shouldn't have to go too far afield to find doctors/dentists, shopping, restaurants, etc.

Thanks. Yes, I'm the one! We are managing pretty well overall. My son had a toothache the other day, and DD had a minore medical issues, so I had to find a new dentist and pediatrician in the same week! The good news is I think we found some winners who are close by and take our insurance.

In general, I think the kids are handling things well. Once in a while, though, they get moody and this gets to me. I do see many advantages to our move, and even the kids are liking some things about their new area.

Thanks for listening!

[Anonymous]

This is the OP. Thanks to all of your for your suggestions and support. I feel better today, and the kids are more upbeat after a good night's rest. We will overcome!