Freshmen Singles

[Anonymous]

DS was just advised that he is being placed in a single at the university that he planned to attend. We knew there was some chance this would happen, but had discounted that possibility. Neither he nor we are happy about that prospect, as it seems to create the risk that DS will feel isolated and not make connections or stay on track. Am finding this sufficiently worrisome that we have started to think of recommending that he take a gap year and reapply to other schools next fall that don't stick first-year students in singles.

Any experiences with kids living in singles as freshmen? My university did not allow it because it wanted freshmen to have roommates. I think that is a better policy, but the university DS is slated to attend does have other positive attributes.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't a less drastic measure be to call the housing office and ask about a non-single room? It's possible now that housing assignments are out that there is another freshman in the opposite position and would want a single.

[Anonymous]

Will he be on a floor with other freshman? That would be more important than the roommate. My DD did not really get along with her roommate but bonded with others on her floor.

Or maybe he can make a change mid year if he really doesn't like the single. There do seem to be opportunities to move rooms at that point.

[Anonymous]

Is he on a floor of all//mostly freshmen in singles? If so, I wouldn't worry at all. My DS got his 4th choice which was a single on a floor of freshman singles, which no one on the floor wanted/requested. The RA encouraged the guys to keep their doors open and it really forced all of them to participate in floor, dorm and school activities. BTW, my DS did put in for a room change and was offer a change just before school started. He decided to stay were he was first put since he'd made facebook friends with all the guys on the floor over the summer.

[Anonymous]

Single is prime real estate in college. Hang when you want; privacy when you don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't a less drastic measure be to call the housing office and ask about a non-single room? It's possible now that housing assignments are out that there is another freshman in the opposite position and would want a single.

+1

[Anonymous]

I had a single my first semester of college. Your fears are valid. I'm an introvert, and having no roommate made it more difficult for me to meet people. No one to have lunch with the first week, that sort of thing.

On the flip side, he can have all the sex he wants in that room without coordinating it with a roomie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't a less drastic measure be to call the housing office and ask about a non-single room? It's possible now that housing assignments are out that there is another freshman in the opposite position and would want a single.

+1

OP here. We did that but are far down a waiting list. People don't want to be in this dorm for other reasons as well (noise and distance from classrooms and dining halls).

The only silver lining I see is that there will be some other freshmen in the same situation, so perhaps they will form bonds more quickly than students with assigned roommates, and it's always possible that he could have been assigned a roommate with whom he had a serious problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had a single my first semester of college. Your fears are valid. I'm an introvert, and having no roommate made it more difficult for me to meet people. No one to have lunch with the first week, that sort of thing.

On the flip side, he can have all the sex he wants in that room without coordinating it with a roomie.

Not what most moms want to hear. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wouldn't a less drastic measure be to call the housing office and ask about a non-single room? It's possible now that housing assignments are out that there is another freshman in the opposite position and would want a single.

+1

OP here. We did that but are far down a waiting list. People don't want to be in this dorm for other reasons as well (noise and distance from classrooms and dining halls).

The only silver lining I see is that there will be some other freshmen in the same situation, so perhaps they will form bonds more quickly than students with assigned roommates, and it's always possible that he could have been assigned a roommate with whom he had a serious problem.

Having had my two oldest start college in the last couple of years, I know that these things seem like big deals when a kid is first starting school - the anxiety is understandable. Honestly though, this is not an issue that is worth considereing a gap year for or losng a lot of sleep over. In all seriousness, I think that this will be an issue for 2-3 days. Your DS will meet people in the normal course if he is so inclined. Besides orientation, most colleges have relationship building events in the dorms early on. Besides that, there will be a lot of kids in that position. My DD's (one a social animal and the other an introvert with a single) did not have any problems meeting people.

[Anonymous]

OP again - thanks all. Am starting to chill out. I talked to Housing and DS received feedback on other message boards and Facebook. It turns out that, while the dorm also houses upperclassmen, most of the floors (including his) are entirely freshmen. So it seems like there will be other first-year students in the same situation reasonably open to making new friends. In addition, many of the kids already at the school who responded to his inquiries said that people often play up living in the more popular dorms because it's considered a "rite of passage" (due to the noise levels and party scene), but that the quieter scene at his dorm has its benefits.

[Anonymous]

Count your blessings. The only downside to my DD's freshman year (she will be starting her sophomore year in August) was her roommate. DS can still socialize, but have time to himself.

Singles are very rare at DD's school, but she would be thrilled to have one.

[Anonymous]

Time to cut the cord a little bit and have some faith that your son is now an adult or about to be and that you have raised him to be able to function.

This sounds like helicoptering parenting to the extreme.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time to cut the cord a little bit and have some faith that your son is now an adult or about to be and that you have raised him to be able to function.

This sounds like helicoptering parenting to the extreme.

PP here - not the OP. Your sentiment is somewhat valid but your tone is a bit snarky. I do not know how many kids you have sent off to college, but this is a time for heightened anxiety for parents and new college students. Every little issues seems big! As the semester progresses, mom and DS will both worry less about the simple things. But seing as how her kid has not even left for college yet, I would be inclined to cut her some slack. Most of us with kids in college have BTDT.

[Anonymous]

I wish I'd had a single as a freshman instead of the freak show roommate I was assigned. Her parents committed her the next summer.

I read somewhere that colleges are building mostly dorms with singles. Is because kids aren't used to/don't react well to having to share a room anymore because they've never had to do it at home.