What private for working moms?

[Anonymous]

On another thread in general parenting someone mentioned that their DS is in a top DC school where 80% of the mothers work. We toured every school in DC and I had the impression that none of them had majority working parents. Can someone help me with this? For personal reasons that have ZERO to do with not respecting SAHMs we're looking for a school environment that has a critical mass of two-income families. Can you point me towards any?

[Anonymous]

I am the poster you are referring to. My son is at Beauvoir. We were given that statistic at a parents assoc meeting last academic year.

[Anonymous]

Beauvoir

[Anonymous]

gosh. this is a tough question. it is hard for the working outside the home mother to feel a part of school. obviously it is subjective. the thing i find most frustrating is the last minute call by teachers for chaperones for trips. like we can drop everything in an instant and rush right over. i have tried to ask teachers at the beginning of the year to give as much advance notice as possible so that i can get leave from work to participate. sometimes they're sensitive, sometimes they are not. i've heard this is a challenge at many schools from friends of mine. i've also asked administration and board members to be sensitive to and inclusive of parents who work outside the home.

[Anonymous]

I'm new at a private this year and have the impression that I am the only working mother. It's really frustrating but I am trying to keep a positive attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: i find most frustrating is the last minute call by teachers for chaperones for trips. like we can drop everything in an instant and rush right over..

I can't believe this. I really believed, until this post, that private schools would generally have the same ratio of working mothers as other schools. Do they really foster the idea that women must live off their men?

I would love to send my kid to a private middle school next year, but fear dc would end up with a sense of entitlement. I have never been into the mommy groups etc, and do not want it to extend my social circle. I want private for the smaller class sizes, nicer environment, and my kid would get more attention. (dc needs this to do well)

Can't hep but wonder why they would automatically ask the mothers to help with field trips and not the fathers.

[Anonymous]

The call is for parents, not specifically mothers. It doesn't happen often, but it does on occasion.

[Anonymous]

This was a big consideration for me in choosing a school also. I wanted to find a place where I felt welcomed and my choices about working outside the home would not be judged (nor would anyone else's!). There definitely are schools where this atmosphere can be found.

I can't quote a percentage of parents who work outside the home at our school but the administration, teachers, and parent organizations try hard to be sensitive to schedules of all types of parents. If I were looking for a school, I would look for concrete evidence that the school is more inclusive of all parents (including dads who work outside the home, this is not just a mom's issue!). First, I'd cast a critical eye on the school calendars that seem to be on every school's website (or ask for one at the open house). What times are school events held-- i.e., if there are state of the school presentations, PTO meetings, Annual fund parent chair training, etc., is there both a daytime and an evening option? Are parent teacher conferences available early in the day (I think ours start at 7) and/or late in the afternoon? Are PTO meetings held during the day, during the evening, or is there a mix of times (our school alternates between 3 PM and 7 PM)? Are assemblies first thing in the morning? Are field trips communicated in the weekly school newsletter or on the main calendar or just by teacher notes? Beyond the calendar, I would find a current parent at the open house and ask if there is a mix of parents (again, including dads) holding leadership positions on school committees, the auction, or in the PTO. I'd also ask that parent how available are the teachers and the administration through email and phone. Don't give up--there are definitely schools out there that make it easier for parents who work outside the home to participate in the life of the school.

[Anonymous]

PS--our school is Grace Episcopal Day School in MD.

[Anonymous]

Stone Ridge School of the Sacred Heart in Bethesda. We've been there 4 yrs. Even as working mom, was able to volunteer for almost everything the 1st year and served as Room Mom another year. I have found that many volunteer opps. have somewhat set scheduling from the start of the year. I have not had difficulty attending events. Field trips are usually scheduled way in advance. BTW, I have a child at another school so I do have something to compare SR. I have found it easier to participate at SR. Overall, there just seems to be shorter notice (not short notice, but shorter than SR) & greater time input at the other school. My greatest complaint/difference is that the other school would give too much non-textbook/non-worksheet homework. For example: have a parent assist you in counting the # of (blank) around your house, go for a walk and count the number of (blank), pick up litter in your neighborhood & describe..., and turn in the NEXT day. So working parent picks child up from aftercare, travels in rush hour traffic, gets homes at 6pm (on a good day)... Well some non-traditional homework is ok, but 1 too many is unrealistic for working parents. This is something SR is great about, I love the traditional homework. In my opinion, traditional vs. non-traditional homework is a key factor in the ranking of private schools for working parents.