Bennifer Revisited
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Anonymous
I mean, no different than the first time around. He was always dressed super formally in their first go around, living a lavish high profile life. Then went the opposite more casual down to earth route with Jennifer garner. Neither is right or wrong (though Jlo seems exhausting to me) but the common denominator is unhappy ben. Comes on strong, thinks exiting one relationship for another is the solution to his problems, and then it turns out it isn’t, but he lacks the self awareness to realize that he needs to be independently stable to be satisfied in a relationship. Jlo actually seems quite unhealthily similar and delusional in terms of her relationships, but it doesn’t seem to be as pervasive in the rest of the areas of her life as it is with ben. |
Anonymous
I'm sure J-Lo had her stylist do it. |
Anonymous
Look at A-Rod when he was dating her. Same miserable look in pap photos, on the red carpet and at events. |
Anonymous
And man did she orchestrate that relationship too. Matching outfits---look at our wonderful blended families with each other's kids. Love of my life. It's 'rinse, repeat' with J-Lo. |
Anonymous
He's an addict. Alcoholics and addict use women like they do booze and pills, it's poor coping mechanisms. They cheat just like they take a hit of booze. It's to escape. |
Anonymous
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She's a lot of course, in the ways we can all know. But I'm sure he's a moody pia as well. The big difference is, she is highly contained and has an iron will and an iron discipline. Just highly controlled and very, very aware and mindful of her of her self created public persona . She must have enormous self control and self possession.
He's sloppy, obviously struggled with impulsively (as his addiction reflects) and much less contained. After the honeymoon is over, the ways he is a mess are going to be challenging for her and her belief in her power to control. I rarely say this, but I feel oddly bad for her...she likely believes he is much stronger internally than he actually is, because she's in love and in idealization. Time will tell |
Anonymous
if he is using her then she wanted to be used. she wanted to have her one true biggest love story ever. all so she can play dress up and get photos. |
Anonymous
| He seems like such a big baby |
Anonymous
Well it's a deeper narcissism than just that but yes of course she did. |
Anonymous
it is clear that he is doing, for a while, what these women want him to do. what I don't understand why does she want him to sit and smile at the grammies? how about stay home and have sex? |
Anonymous
Anonymous
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I get it, Ben. I would also not enjoy that event and I think his behavior was honest and probably a better reflection of how most of the people in that room, even JLo, actually feel. Like most of the smiling and dancing you see is an act. They know there are cameras everywhere and it's on TV and the photos will be all over, so they perform their public selves. Except Lizzo, I think she is honestly just like that, plus still newly famous enough that it's all very novel to her. But most of the other people there are bored and looking forward to going home, but just doing a much better job than Ben at covering it up.
Also, a lot of people there who felt like he did probably had a couple glasses of champagne or took a pill or smoked a bowl so that they could loosen up and have more fun. That's not something he can do. There's a reason that substance abuse if very prevalent in these industries -- it's how a lot of people get through the performative aspects of their job when they don't feel like it. It's likely very hard to be sober in that environment. The sad thing to me is that the best, and healthiest, thing in this situation would be for JLo to just go to this event alone or with a friend or her assistant or something. She is there because she has an album coming out this year and she needs to raise her profile for that. It's her industry, it makes sense that she would go and do the whole thing including red carpet. But it's not like she was up for an award or doing something that would really merit having her husband there to support her. She's a pro, it's not her first rodeo, I'm sure she could handle that night without him no problem, and then he doesn't have to spend the night around a bunch of fake people pretending to be having the time of their lives for the cameras while doing coke and drinking or whatever. Win-win. But of course if JLo showed up to an awards show solo, people would freak out and say they were getting a divorce. He could literally have Covid or have recently broken his leg and people would still be like "oh look Bennifer's already on the rocks, I knew it." Whatever, these are just people. They are human and flawed liek the rest of us. Maybe she's controlling, maybe he's a mopey jerk, I don't know. I feel like the video of them at the Grammys is like the realest and most relatable thing to happen at the Grammys. I could see my DH and I having a night like that for one of our work functions and your marriage is super solid and we're very happy. Doesn't mean either of us wants to spend the night smiling and glad-handing with a bunch of our spouse's colleagues. It sucks! |
Anonymous
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Wonder what he said to her. |
Anonymous
Agreed. Blaming his drinking on being married to Jennifer Garner was truly immature. Own your choices. |
Anonymous
| Are they divorced yet? |