9TH GRADE SON HAD HORRIBLE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL....PLEASE HELP

[Anonymous]

Good evening,

I am desparately looking for some guidance for private schools in the DC/MD (Prince Georges County)/VA (Alexandria) area. My son started high school today in Prince George's County Md and it's going to take all I have tomorrow to get him to go back. My son has a learning disability. He's in 9th grade but on a 6th grade reading level as well as other subjects. He is a exceptionally bright child but a target for bullies and struggles socially because he thinks everyone wants to hurt him. I tried all summer to locate private schools in the area but the majority of them are in Montomgery County or costs a minimum of $40K to send him there. He said the teachers were not helpful, he was completely lost in the school, his schedule showed one thing but he wasnt on the class roster and he missed his bus because there was over 60 buses for him to go thru to try and find his. It was literally the day from hell and I cannot continue to send him to a school that just doesnt care. His IEP states that he should be in a inclusion class but his schedule which a teacher wrote in pencil by the way; showed him in 9th grade classes above the grade level he's on. I'm going to the school tomorrow to talk to the Special Ed coordinator but as of last week (days before school started) she still had not reviewed my son's IEP and records from his previous school to even see what his needs are??? Oh did I mention he doesnt even have Math on his schedule?!!

I am an emotional wreck right now but trying to be strong for him....any recommendations?

He just wants to learn and deserves to be in a learning environment that can continue to foster this versus holding him back.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry that I don't have any recs, but I feel for you. I really hope that things get better for your son wherever he ends up going to school. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I'm really sorry your son had such a bad first day. Please don't give up. Is there any way you can go to school with him tomorrow to help get his schedule fixed? Since he has an IEP, bring a copy of it with you and demand to see the principal. Is there aonther high school in your county that could better accommodate his needs? Also, if the school system fails to meet his needs according to his IEP, you might be able to get him a placement in a private school. It's a long shot, but there are lawyers who can facilitate the process. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

My heart breaks for you. It is so emotionally difficult to have children that are targets ... please keep your spirits up and get in there and advocate for your child. If at all possible, do NOT use the school buses for transportation, as this is a big opportunity time for unkind kids. Also, even though you should not have to, get into the school with your IEP and attempt to make them hear you and help your child. It is so frustrating that the kids who really need some help and understanding are not treated accordingly. It is almost a full time job for you as the parent, but you obviously care about the outcome and this motivation will get you through. Hang in there ... you will need your energy for this and the next three years.

[Anonymous]

My third is a sophomore in high school. Each of my children had a hard first day in high school and they did not have special needs to contend with as well. They all missed their buses, didn't have correct paperwork for a class or two, and generally had issues. Tell your son that he is not special in this way, everyone has to find their feet the first week of school, especially the administration.

We love our high school, but you have to be proactive and get to your counselors immediately. Put a cell phone on your son and be ready to pick him up and drop him off until the bus thing is straight. Our bus didn't even come two of the first five days of school last year!

Bullying is not as big a problem in high school as in the lower grades, so don't get worked up about that so early. If he has friends, make sure he is in classes with some of them, you have about 10 days to switch,and since you have an IEP you will have some leverage there.

Also, pay close attention to extracurricular activities that are available, and put him in one (art, theatre, etc.) where he can meet people. Staying after school for activities will give him a chance to get used to the size and complexity of the school without all the crowding that goes on in the halls during the day.

AND, remind him that EVERYONE in 9th grade is having issues with the transition and distract him by having him look out for smaller freshman and other people that might need HIS help.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I would call the school now and let them know you would like to speak to an administrator. Tell them that your calls were not returned by the special educator and that you would like a meeting ASAP to make sure that his IEP goals are being meet. If his hours are not being meet that is against the law. From my understanding it is the schools responsibility to make sure his goals are being meet. Let them know you are aware of his goals and want to make sure he has a sucessful year. You need to let them know that you are an involved parent and want things fixed.

For the other parts... it is probably just part of starting a new school. All busses do look alike. Can you help him come up with a way to remember his bus number?

[Anonymous]

Try Fairhaven School in Upper Marlboro, MD. Very unconventional and very wonderful. It uses the Sudbury Method. (www.fairhavenschool.com)

Kids are 5-19. It's ungraded and the kids have to take responsibility for their own learning.

Loving, creative staff.

About $7, 000 a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try Fairhaven School in Upper Marlboro, MD. Very unconventional and very wonderful. It uses the Sudbury Method. (www.fairhavenschool.com)

Kids are 5-19. It's ungraded and the kids have to take responsibility for their own learning.

Loving, creative staff.

About $7, 000 a year.

I really like the idea of the Sudbury method but honestly I wouldn't recommend it for a child with special needs. There are no formal teachers at a Sudbury school and children are expected to direct their own education based on their own interests and request instruction when necessary..

[Anonymous]

While keeping yourself under control (emotionally), call every administrator until you get one on the phone and find his counselor. Let them know about the issues and be SUPPORTIVE and positive (they are much more likely to help you). The school could be a disaster, but these problems really could iron out. Whatever you do, TRY to hold it together for your son and TRY to not catastrophize (sp?). If he thinks you are panicked for him, he will be even MORE insecure. Let him know that you are confident he can get through this. Stop looking (or treating) him like a target...lots of kids in that school are suffering, trust me. Help him figure out ways he can solve his own problems, you said he is a bright boy. Confident kids (mostly) do not get bullied.

GOOD LUCK!

[Anonymous]

To the parent of the 9th grader-it's true that the Sudbury method is based on the idea that children can and will follow their interests and passions and will seek out instruction; however it is not true that there is no formal instruction. We've been involved with Sudbury schools for four years. In that time, the staff have offered many classes as well as individual instruction. ( Last year, one of my children took classes in French, Geometry, and Creative Writing as well as individual piano lessons.)

The P. G. County School system is overburdened. There is less and less money and the classes get bigger and bigger. We were in this school system for nearly 9 years before we left. There are some great teachers who care a lot but they have little time to give to individuals.

Of course, the Sudbury schools do not work for every child. But they often work very well for bright, motivated young people who need the world to slow down a little so that they can proceed at their own pace, not at a speed that has been predetermined by the demands of the Maryland State Assessments or some other test.

I agree with other parents that the first day (and even the first few weeks) can be confusing and miserable. For most kids, it gets better. If it doesn't, don't be afraid to consider a different environment for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The P. G. County School system is overburdened. There is less and less money and the classes get bigger and bigger. We were in this school system for nearly 9 years before we left. There are some great teachers who care a lot but they have little time to give to individuals.

It's not just PG. The same thing happens in Fairfax, one of the wealthiest school districts in the nation and very good re: special needs compared with the rest of the country.

[Anonymous]

Try calling Parents Place for advice on how to deal with your school and Abilities Network for an advocate to help one on one. They may have information on schools too.

I've been there and it hurts. Hang on.

care4kids