1-2-3 Magic

[Anonymous]

I see so many parents on here posting about 1-2-3 Magic as a form of discipline for their child. What is this? Is it more then just counting to three?

[Anonymous]

There's a book that explains the system. Basically the point is you don't escalate bad behavior and put the kids in time out when things get bad. It tells you how to handle time out situations.

[Anonymous]

Read the book. It's a quick read and it works great.

[Anonymous]

I've started to read the book and have a question. Do you tell them what happens when you get to 3? I have a 3 year old, so it's taking him a little bit to catch on. Do I say "that's 1, if I get to 3 then you'll go to time out, lose that toy, go inside, etc" or just wait until 3 to tell him the consequence? I've been kind of alternating, but I'm not really sure which to stick with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've started to read the book and have a question. Do you tell them what happens when you get to 3? I have a 3 year old, so it's taking him a little bit to catch on. Do I say "that's 1, if I get to 3 then you'll go to time out, lose that toy, go inside, etc" or just wait until 3 to tell him the consequence? I've been kind of alternating, but I'm not really sure which to stick with.

Finish reading the book. No, you do not tell the consequence. Repetition is the teacher. Minimize words. "That's 3-- take a break." And into time-out. If he's doing something naughty and you're counting sternly, it should catch his attention and a 3 yr old should catch on very, very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the book. It's a quick read and it works great.

Yes. I've noticed many people think they can read the title and either know exactly what it is and start doing it, or know exactly what it is and start criticizing it.

It is a lot more than counting to 3, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read the book. It's a quick read and it works great.

Yes. I've noticed many people think they can read the title and either know exactly what it is and start doing it, or know exactly what it is and start criticizing it.

It is a lot more than counting to 3, yes.

OP here, thanks smarty pants. I didn't KNOW it was a book. Which is why I asked. And, I didn't criticize it, I saw it mentioned several times in other posts and wanted to know what it was.

Thank you to those who explained -

[Anonymous]

When my kids got older (9-12), I started using a variation of 1-2-3 wherein I would count DOWN starting with 3 when they were engaging in obnoxious behavior.

If the behavior continued even when I got down to 1, I would start counting back up and the higher I got the more severe the consequences would be. It worked VERY well!

[Anonymous]

You are just letting your kid know the punishment is coming, just giving them enough time to respond and make a decision to either continue the action causing the punishment or to stop knowing the punishment is imminent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Read the book. It's a quick read and it works great.

Yes. I've noticed many people think they can read the title and either know exactly what it is and start doing it, or know exactly what it is and start criticizing it.

It is a lot more than counting to 3, yes.

OP here, thanks smarty pants. I didn't KNOW it was a book. Which is why I asked. And, I didn't criticize it, I saw it mentioned several times in other posts and wanted to know what it was.

Thank you to those who explained -

I had no idea there was a book too, but of course. There is always a book these days, it's like you have to get a Ph.D in child psychology or do obligatory reading of x-amount of books to parent your kids. I don't think you need to be a genius to understand what's going on with this whole concept and honestly, this has been around even when I was a kid, which was in the 70s and not in the US. Not a rocket science.

[Anonymous]

This book is worth its weight in gold. Definitely get it and read it.

It works because it gives you a short, unemotional response to annoying behavior. Instead of bargaining, litigating and arguing, you just say, "That's one." It's only effective, though, if you are consistent and if your consequences are appropriate, have meaning to your kid and can be given out timely.

[Anonymous]

I have a 8 & 10 year old, been using this for a couple of years. There is also a video that you can borrow from the public library, it's also entertaining and kind of funny.