People with $1.2M+ homes and getting significant financial aid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are definitely happier being in the dark because when you see someone who has on paper the same exact life as you except for you pay twice as much as them for the same schools tuition it’s frustrating.

“On paper”. You don’t know what their expenses are, if they are supporting elderly parents or have medical costs or are paying off college loans - all things the Clarity app asks about, just as a few examples.

People are judging without actually knowing. Again, if it ticks you off - ask for aid, stop donating, earmark your donations, or switch schools, but mind your own business.

College loans are a choice. So is supporting family. You should not be asking for aid if you have a high income and assists and you choose high expenses or debt.

Wow. So because somebody supports their elderly mom, or has a very sick family member, or took out a loan at 25 so they could go to CC and state school while working (that's my DH), their kid shouldn't attend private school even though FA is available. Because they live in a house nicer than yours.

Basically, you think only two kinds of people should be at private school: people with your exact background, and people who "seem poor enough" that everyone will know they're different from you and only there because you donated.

You realize many of you face tuff situations. We had to support and take care of an elderly parent for 10 years. I literally had to care for her and quit my job as we could not afford help, all along with a special needs child and another serious issue going on plus my own health issues. And, yet, we pay our own way. We live in a small shack that you'd never even enter. We drive cars till they die (we share a car now), grocery shop at Walmart, and I cannot remember when we took a vacation last - maybe 8 years ago and the last one was a business trip that we used free credit card points for flights so flights, hotel and meal for one was free. Still have serious health issues.

And you would have been a perfect candidate for FA, especially with everything you mentioned in your third sentence. But you decided to turn it into a morality play. Your choice. Some choose differently and the schools are receptive to that. Their choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get aid for 2 kids in HS and our house is worth $1.5M. I'll tell you why.

Just having our house worth this much goes not mean we're loaded as we brought our house for less than $1M. Also, are we supposed to sell our house and move where? Our mortgage is low but property tax high. We could move far far away and pay the same mortgage with current rates and it would not mean anything as our current house is prob less in mortgage. The fact our house is worth a certain amount does not mean it's liquid assets. We still need a home!

Thankfully, FA takes into consideration logical and practical reality. It's not like we own 2 homes, drive new cars or go on fancy vacations. We can't help that our home tripled in value since owning it but it's our big savings and investment. And FA does not mean a free ride to school, it means that we pay what we can per our income.

You are so tone-death. You can buy a cheaper house, just not where you want to live like the rest of us. Our house is worth $600K, 900 square feet, and in an area you'd consider bad. We paid $350K. You can easily look it up online. Being house-poor doesn't give you a free pass. You need a home, but which home you choose should factor into aid. You select an expensive house. We choose not to be house poor to pay for things. And, you can borrow against the house.

Just wait until college rolls around, and your kids’ friends living in much nicer homes than your 900 square foot home get aid at schools that don’t include home equity. Your head is going to explode.

This is the problem with busying yourself with everyone else and the choices they make. You will never be satisfied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are definitely happier being in the dark because when you see someone who has on paper the same exact life as you except for you pay twice as much as them for the same schools tuition it’s frustrating.

“On paper”. You don’t know what their expenses are, if they are supporting elderly parents or have medical costs or are paying off college loans - all things the Clarity app asks about, just as a few examples.

People are judging without actually knowing. Again, if it ticks you off - ask for aid, stop donating, earmark your donations, or switch schools, but mind your own business.

College loans are a choice. So is supporting family. You should not be asking for aid if you have a high income and assists and you choose high expenses or debt.

Wow. So because somebody supports their elderly mom, or has a very sick family member, or took out a loan at 25 so they could go to CC and state school while working (that's my DH), their kid shouldn't attend private school even though FA is available. Because they live in a house nicer than yours.

Basically, you think only two kinds of people should be at private school: people with your exact background, and people who "seem poor enough" that everyone will know they're different from you and only there because you donated.

You realize many of you face tuff situations. We had to support and take care of an elderly parent for 10 years. I literally had to care for her and quit my job as we could not afford help, all along with a special needs child and another serious issue going on plus my own health issues. And, yet, we pay our own way. We live in a small shack that you'd never even enter. We drive cars till they die (we share a car now), grocery shop at Walmart, and I cannot remember when we took a vacation last - maybe 8 years ago and the last one was a business trip that we used free credit card points for flights so flights, hotel and meal for one was free. Still have serious health issues.

And you would have been a perfect candidate for FA, especially with everything you mentioned in your third sentence. But you decided to turn it into a morality play. Your choice. Some choose differently and the schools are receptive to that. Their choice.

We don’t know enough information about this poster to determine if they would or wouldn’t qualify for financial aid from a private grade school or even a public college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We get aid for 2 kids in HS and our house is worth $1.5M. I'll tell you why.

Just having our house worth this much goes not mean we're loaded as we brought our house for less than $1M. Also, are we supposed to sell our house and move where? Our mortgage is low but property tax high. We could move far far away and pay the same mortgage with current rates and it would not mean anything as our current house is prob less in mortgage. The fact our house is worth a certain amount does not mean it's liquid assets. We still need a home!

Thankfully, FA takes into consideration logical and practical reality. It's not like we own 2 homes, drive new cars or go on fancy vacations. We can't help that our home tripled in value since owning it but it's our big savings and investment. And FA does not mean a free ride to school, it means that we pay what we can per our income.

It’s called a home equity loan. Or line of credit. Or tap 10k of your student’s 529. Do these things before asking strangers to pay your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are definitely happier being in the dark because when you see someone who has on paper the same exact life as you except for you pay twice as much as them for the same schools tuition it’s frustrating.

“On paper”. You don’t know what their expenses are, if they are supporting elderly parents or have medical costs or are paying off college loans - all things the Clarity app asks about, just as a few examples.

People are judging without actually knowing. Again, if it ticks you off - ask for aid, stop donating, earmark your donations, or switch schools, but mind your own business.

College loans are a choice. So is supporting family. You should not be asking for aid if you have a high income and assists and you choose high expenses or debt.

Wow. So because somebody supports their elderly mom, or has a very sick family member, or took out a loan at 25 so they could go to CC and state school while working (that's my DH), their kid shouldn't attend private school even though FA is available. Because they live in a house nicer than yours.

Basically, you think only two kinds of people should be at private school: people with your exact background, and people who "seem poor enough" that everyone will know they're different from you and only there because you donated.

You realize many of you face tuff situations. We had to support and take care of an elderly parent for 10 years. I literally had to care for her and quit my job as we could not afford help, all along with a special needs child and another serious issue going on plus my own health issues. And, yet, we pay our own way. We live in a small shack that you'd never even enter. We drive cars till they die (we share a car now), grocery shop at Walmart, and I cannot remember when we took a vacation last - maybe 8 years ago and the last one was a business trip that we used free credit card points for flights so flights, hotel and meal for one was free. Still have serious health issues.

And you would have been a perfect candidate for FA, especially with everything you mentioned in your third sentence. But you decided to turn it into a morality play. Your choice. Some choose differently and the schools are receptive to that. Their choice.

We don’t know enough information about this poster to determine if they would or wouldn’t qualify for financial aid from a private grade school or even a public college.

I didn’t say they would have qualified, I said their situation (loss of job, care for elderly parent, SN child, and health issues) would have made them a good FA candidate. We know enough that they quit a job and can’t afford help for their parent, along with the other details, so they aren’t swimming in money.

But they wanted to take some perceived moral high ground and stay full pay. That’s fine! But don’t get upset when others in the same situation don’t.

When you realize that FA is not pure charity, but instead a way for schools with a sticker price of $50-$60k to provide discounts depending on income and situation, you stop thinking there is something amoral about people applying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing about all of the fake morally superior and deeply offended people here is that they will end up doing absolutely nothing about it.

Actually, I am doing something about it. I'm restricting my annual giving to the school. Wouldn't be surprised if the "morally superior and deeply offended" people on this thread do the same.

And I’m sure the schools will be really upset that half a dozen DCUM Karens withhold their small donations that they think give them leverage over the school.

Can we please stop with this over used, past its prime term. I am embarrassed for anyone who is still using it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing about all of the fake morally superior and deeply offended people here is that they will end up doing absolutely nothing about it.

Actually, I am doing something about it. I'm restricting my annual giving to the school. Wouldn't be surprised if the "morally superior and deeply offended" people on this thread do the same.

And I’m sure the schools will be really upset that half a dozen DCUM Karens withhold their small donations that they think give them leverage over the school.

Can we please stop with this over used, past its prime term. I am embarrassed for anyone who is still using it.

I’m embarrassed for the people still acting like it. Which is quite a few of the posters here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get aid for 2 kids in HS and our house is worth $1.5M. I'll tell you why.

Just having our house worth this much goes not mean we're loaded as we brought our house for less than $1M. Also, are we supposed to sell our house and move where? Our mortgage is low but property tax high. We could move far far away and pay the same mortgage with current rates and it would not mean anything as our current house is prob less in mortgage. The fact our house is worth a certain amount does not mean it's liquid assets. We still need a home!

Thankfully, FA takes into consideration logical and practical reality. It's not like we own 2 homes, drive new cars or go on fancy vacations. We can't help that our home tripled in value since owning it but it's our big savings and investment. And FA does not mean a free ride to school, it means that we pay what we can per our income.

It’s called a home equity loan. Or line of credit. Or tap 10k of your student’s 529. Do these things before asking strangers to pay your way.

Or we can take aid. Given by the private equity dads at our school who work about 20 hours a week (with a SAH wife) and are at every single school and sporting event. While we're working 50 hours a week as high level fed and a non-profit worker.
I'll take the money with no guilt, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are definitely happier being in the dark because when you see someone who has on paper the same exact life as you except for you pay twice as much as them for the same schools tuition it’s frustrating.

“On paper”. You don’t know what their expenses are, if they are supporting elderly parents or have medical costs or are paying off college loans - all things the Clarity app asks about, just as a few examples.

People are judging without actually knowing. Again, if it ticks you off - ask for aid, stop donating, earmark your donations, or switch schools, but mind your own business.

College loans are a choice. So is supporting family. You should not be asking for aid if you have a high income and assists and you choose high expenses or debt.

Wow. So because somebody supports their elderly mom, or has a very sick family member, or took out a loan at 25 so they could go to CC and state school while working (that's my DH), their kid shouldn't attend private school even though FA is available. Because they live in a house nicer than yours.

Basically, you think only two kinds of people should be at private school: people with your exact background, and people who "seem poor enough" that everyone will know they're different from you and only there because you donated.

You realize many of you face tuff situations. We had to support and take care of an elderly parent for 10 years. I literally had to care for her and quit my job as we could not afford help, all along with a special needs child and another serious issue going on plus my own health issues. And, yet, we pay our own way. We live in a small shack that you'd never even enter. We drive cars till they die (we share a car now), grocery shop at Walmart, and I cannot remember when we took a vacation last - maybe 8 years ago and the last one was a business trip that we used free credit card points for flights so flights, hotel and meal for one was free. Still have serious health issues.

And you would have been a perfect candidate for FA, especially with everything you mentioned in your third sentence. But you decided to turn it into a morality play. Your choice. Some choose differently and the schools are receptive to that. Their choice.

We don’t know enough information about this poster to determine if they would or wouldn’t qualify for financial aid from a private grade school or even a public college.

I didn’t say they would have qualified, I said their situation (loss of job, care for elderly parent, SN child, and health issues) would have made them a good FA candidate. We know enough that they quit a job and can’t afford help for their parent, along with the other details, so they aren’t swimming in money.

But they wanted to take some perceived moral high ground and stay full pay. That’s fine! But don’t get upset when others in the same situation don’t.

When you realize that FA is not pure charity, but instead a way for schools with a sticker price of $50-$60k to provide discounts depending on income and situation, you stop thinking there is something amoral about people applying.

When you realize FA is a way for these schools and their families to claim to care about any diversity beyond the visible kind while not actually caring.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t read the whole thread, but I think it makes a ton of sense for financial aid to be going to families in $1m houses. If you only have wealthy full-pay families and then low income families on FA, you’re going to have a very bifurcated student body. The schools with very high tuition will have the largest and most problematic gap, and I can easily see needing to award FA to some number of $1m home families to not end up hopelessly uneven.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing about all of the fake morally superior and deeply offended people here is that they will end up doing absolutely nothing about it.

Actually, I am doing something about it. I'm restricting my annual giving to the school. Wouldn't be surprised if the "morally superior and deeply offended" people on this thread do the same.

OK, Karen.

And I’m sure the schools will be really upset that half a dozen DCUM Karens withhold their small donations that they think give them leverage over the school.

Can we please stop with this over used, past its prime term. I am embarrassed for anyone who is still using it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing about all of the fake morally superior and deeply offended people here is that they will end up doing absolutely nothing about it.

Actually, I am doing something about it. I'm restricting my annual giving to the school. Wouldn't be surprised if the "morally superior and deeply offended" people on this thread do the same.

And I’m sure the schools will be really upset that half a dozen DCUM Karens withhold their small donations that they think give them leverage over the school.

Can we please stop with this over used, past its prime term. I am embarrassed for anyone who is still using it.

OK, Karen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These private schools should consider offering flat tuition rates based on HHI only that are published and publicly available rather than this obtuse financial aid application process that so many use. Other private schools have used this method and it has been successful. It clears us so much of the social discord that these secretive processes sow.

Or, just charge a more reasonable tuition and ask for more donations. And, manage their money better. No school should cost $60K when they aready own the land.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The funny thing about all of the fake morally superior and deeply offended people here is that they will end up doing absolutely nothing about it.

Actually, I am doing something about it. I'm restricting my annual giving to the school. Wouldn't be surprised if the "morally superior and deeply offended" people on this thread do the same.

And I’m sure the schools will be really upset that half a dozen DCUM Karens withhold their small donations that they think give them leverage over the school.

Can we please stop with this over used, past its prime term. I am embarrassed for anyone who is still using it.

+1 I find it misogynistic and shaming. A different way to put women in their place and diminish their power.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We get aid for 2 kids in HS and our house is worth $1.5M. I'll tell you why.

Just having our house worth this much goes not mean we're loaded as we brought our house for less than $1M. Also, are we supposed to sell our house and move where? Our mortgage is low but property tax high. We could move far far away and pay the same mortgage with current rates and it would not mean anything as our current house is prob less in mortgage. The fact our house is worth a certain amount does not mean it's liquid assets. We still need a home!

Thankfully, FA takes into consideration logical and practical reality. It's not like we own 2 homes, drive new cars or go on fancy vacations. We can't help that our home tripled in value since owning it but it's our big savings and investment. And FA does not mean a free ride to school, it means that we pay what we can per our income.

It’s called a home equity loan. Or line of credit. Or tap 10k of your student’s 529. Do these things before asking strangers to pay your way.

Or we can take aid. Given by the private equity dads at our school who work about 20 hours a week (with a SAH wife) and are at every single school and sporting event. While we're working 50 hours a week as high level fed and a non-profit worker.
I'll take the money with no guilt, thank you.

You should have written, “I’ll take other people’s money with no guilt, thank you.” At least be honest and upfront about what you are doing.