Bar Mitvah - Gift Question/Guidance

[Anonymous]

DS is attending a school friend's Bar Mitvah.

What is a recommended non-cash gift?

I assume cash is acceptable - what is a "standard" amount.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

My kids have gone to several dozen bar and bat mitzvahs over the years. We have found the amounts given be guests range considerably. We usually give $50 unless it's a close friend or family member (in which case we give more like $100).

[Anonymous]

Multiples of $18 (which stands for life). Thus, depending on your crowd, it is probably either 18 or 36. I think PP is coming in too high for a gift from a child, rather than from a family.

I recently spent around $70 on a piece of jewelry for my niece -- clearly we don't travel in PPs circle.

[Anonymous]

I usually do $36 cash and $36 gc for a store the kid would like. For non-close friends, it would be $18 and $18.

[Anonymous]

What is the going rate these days? My family of four is attending for the child of my friend.

Thanks !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I usually do $36 cash and $36 gc for a store the kid would like. For non-close friends, it would be $18 and $18.

A lot of parents put the cash/check toward college - that is her logic. Anything in multiples of 18 is fine. For a family of 4, I'd probably do $72 or more depending on what you are comfortable with or can afford.

[Anonymous]

Family of four should be giving around $200.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Family of four should be giving around $200.

No they shouldn't. It's ridiculous to place a set dollar value on a gift. OP, give what you feel is appropriate given your financial circumstances. My DS's bar mitzvah is in three weeks and I by no means have any expectations with regard to a set amount he "should" be receiving. People like the PP drive me crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family of four should be giving around $200.

No they shouldn't. It's ridiculous to place a set dollar value on a gift. OP, give what you feel is appropriate given your financial circumstances. My DS's bar mitzvah is in three weeks and I by no means have any expectations with regard to a set amount he "should" be receiving. People like the PP drive me crazy.

Yes, and people like you who think it would be appropriate for a family of four to give $18 drive ME crazy. That's why each person is welcome to post their opinion on this website - that's how it works. Each person posts THEIR opinion. I posted mine. You posted yours AND yours ABOUT mine. The OP is free to listen to whoever she feels is right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family of four should be giving around $200.

No they shouldn't. It's ridiculous to place a set dollar value on a gift. OP, give what you feel is appropriate given your financial circumstances. My DS's bar mitzvah is in three weeks and I by no means have any expectations with regard to a set amount he "should" be receiving. People like the PP drive me crazy.

Yes, and people like you who think it would be appropriate for a family of four to give $18 drive ME crazy. That's why each person is welcome to post their opinion on this website - that's how it works. Each person posts THEIR opinion. I posted mine. You posted yours AND yours ABOUT mine. The OP is free to listen to whoever she feels is right.

Really, you'd really be put off if a family gave your DC $18? That seems incredibly shallow.

[Anonymous]

My son got everything from $18 to $360 from a family that we barely see anymore and didn't even come. He got $50 from kids I don't even know and $25 from couples who came. My point is there is no minimum or expectation. Give what you can. I usually think about what I would spend on a "regular" birthday present for that child and maybe raise it a bit.

[Anonymous]

If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

Money. Money is the appropriate gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

Money. Money is the appropriate gift.

some of the non cash items my DD received included a lot of jewelry, many gift cards, a few purses, some books and art supplies. If you'd rather give a gift instead of cash, go ahead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you dont give money, what kind of gift is appropriate?

For girls: jewelry, a jewelry box, gift card, books, wallet/purse/bag (like Vera Bradley), pen, something related to an interest of hers (horses, movies, cooking, sewing, etc.), even a gift basket would be fun or something Judaica, although you may need guidance from a Jewish friend

For boys: nice pen, wallet, books, watch, gift card, nice duffle bag, carry-on bag, something related to an interest of his, Judaica,