if one half of the couple doesn't want divorce?

[Anonymous]

I've always thought that divorce had to be mutual. What if one refuses to "sign" (or is that even the right way to ask the question!?).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always thought that divorce had to be mutual. What if one refuses to "sign" (or is that even the right way to ask the question!?).

Um, no. Despite what you see in the movies, one party does not "give" the other a divorce. It is ordered by a judge. If one party doesn't want it, they can make it more difficult, but they cannot stop it.

[Anonymous]

You stay together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You stay together

WHAT!?! It does not work that way. If someone wants out...they are going to leave you and get a lawyer to help them do so. It might not be fair but its how it is.

Why the hell would you want to stay with someone who wants to divorce you?

[Anonymous]

My husband's ex wife was like this. She wasn't demanding in terms of nickel and diming him on child support or assets- they worked out a number, and she took what she wanted and he kept the rest- but she just REFUSED TO SIGN forever. Like, over 2 years. Filed the papers, they agreed to everything... and then she literally held onto them for the next 2.5 years, always with an excuse why she wouldn't get the signed papers filed and the court date set. When she finally decided she was "ready" they actually had to re-sign newer versions of the same papers because everything had been signed years before. Got a court date, judge dissolved it in 10 minutes flat and that was that, but boy, she just would not sign for the longest time. I'm sure my DH could have fought with her harder on it but he didn't want to piss her off or making the divorce contentious so he just let her hold out as long as she wanted and went about his life. She's a very strange bird, that one.

[Anonymous]

If one spouse doesn't want to divorce, there is usually a longer required separation period, and the divorce will go on the contested rather than uncontested docket, which also takes longer. But the divorce will be granted - it is usually the signing of the agreements that have been worked out that can be delayed, as PP said. And because it is preferable for both parties to negotiate and agree to things without court involvement, one party will wait for another party to sign rather than push through with a contested divorce proceeding.

[Anonymous]

What is the required separation period (in Maryland) for contested vs. uncontested divorces? If there is a pre-nup, does this affected the timing, or just the terms that are negotiated?

I'd think that refusing to sign could be a way of negotiating a better deal by the spouse, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's ex wife was like this. She wasn't demanding in terms of nickel and diming him on child support or assets- they worked out a number, and she took what she wanted and he kept the rest- but she just REFUSED TO SIGN forever. Like, over 2 years. Filed the papers, they agreed to everything... and then she literally held onto them for the next 2.5 years, always with an excuse why she wouldn't get the signed papers filed and the court date set. When she finally decided she was "ready" they actually had to re-sign newer versions of the same papers because everything had been signed years before. Got a court date, judge dissolved it in 10 minutes flat and that was that, but boy, she just would not sign for the longest time. I'm sure my DH could have fought with her harder on it but he didn't want to piss her off or making the divorce contentious so he just let her hold out as long as she wanted and went about his life. She's a very strange bird, that one.

So what's the word I'm looking for? Compassion?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You stay together

In a third world country maybe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the required separation period (in Maryland) for contested vs. uncontested divorces? If there is a pre-nup, does this affected the timing, or just the terms that are negotiated?

I'd think that refusing to sign could be a way of negotiating a better deal by the spouse, no?

Any thoughts, people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the required separation period (in Maryland) for contested vs. uncontested divorces? If there is a pre-nup, does this affected the timing, or just the terms that are negotiated?

I'd think that refusing to sign could be a way of negotiating a better deal by the spouse, no?

Any thoughts, people?

Talk to an attorney.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Many divorces aren't mutual but if one person wants out, they can get out. It's called no-fault divorce. Before it became the ruling standard for divorces, the party filing divorce had to show grounds, such as adultery or cruelty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband's ex wife was like this. She wasn't demanding in terms of nickel and diming him on child support or assets- they worked out a number, and she took what she wanted and he kept the rest- but she just REFUSED TO SIGN forever. Like, over 2 years. Filed the papers, they agreed to everything... and then she literally held onto them for the next 2.5 years, always with an excuse why she wouldn't get the signed papers filed and the court date set. When she finally decided she was "ready" they actually had to re-sign newer versions of the same papers because everything had been signed years before. Got a court date, judge dissolved it in 10 minutes flat and that was that, but boy, she just would not sign for the longest time. I'm sure my DH could have fought with her harder on it but he didn't want to piss her off or making the divorce contentious so he just let her hold out as long as she wanted and went about his life. She's a very strange bird, that one.

So what's the word I'm looking for? Compassion?

Don't catch your meaning- you feel compassion because you've been in a similar situation, or you think I should be showing compassion for her?

[Anonymous]

That's when you hire a hit man.

[Anonymous]

In VA, you must have "grounds for divorce if the other is not agreeable. In my case, I am the wife who wants out b/c he has been verbally and emotionally abusive. It is an unhealthy relationship...however, I don't have grounds. I have three daughters who I refuse to live without, so I stay. Depending on your situation, it can be VERY difficult to get out of a marriage. In my case, I want custody of the girls, and because I have been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years, I am dependent on child support and alimony. In my personal experience, I would have to go to court for a judge to order the divorce. It would require a long, drawn out $50,000 trial to work it out. So, regardless of what PP have written, you CAN'T always just go out and get a divorce if you want one. don't get me started on women's issues, but in my case, it is still a man's world and I am still living in an unhealthy, dead marriage because my husband refuses to "give" me a divorce.