Invite small children to my sister's baby shower?

[Anonymous]

I'm helping my sister's friend plan her baby shower this September. It will be her first child, but among her friends there are 10-15 little ones ranging from newborns to a 4 year old. Should the kids be invited to the shower? What about the little babies? My sister says she doesn't care either way and I'm just not sure on the etiquette or whether it would be more fun or more stressful to have the little ones there. Thoughts/Advice?

[Anonymous]

Hmmm...if everyone brings their toddlers does it become more of a playgroup, with focus on keeping the small children entertained and happy as opposed to a shower with the attention on the guest of honor?

I suppose I wouldn't tell a guest they couldn't bring their child if not bringing them meant they couldn't attend themselves. But I wouldn't go out of my way to say "hey, bring all the kids" unless you had a babysitter or something on hand to keep the children occupied while the shower was underway.

In all fairness, I have very little expertise in this matter other than being an invited guest at other showers and observing, so I'm curious how others will respond.

[Anonymous]

Since the baby shower is about having a baby, I think babies/kids should be welcome.

But I'd prob do the same, don't say anything specifically, some might bring them, others might not.

[Anonymous]

It is your sister's day and 10-15 little ones would take away from that, in my opinion. Now, if it a backyard bash and super casual, and your sister LOVES kids, go for it. But I have two kids and I would not want them nor would I want to take them. You spend the whole time chasing them and they make a mess and you have to have special food...blah, blah blah. I think it is understood that a new nursing mom would bring her infant, but anyone else should want a mimosa and oooh and aaaah the Bjorns! Besides, you may scare your sister have to death with so many kids in one place!! It is enough to rethink parenthood!

[Anonymous]

We had a couple's shower outdoors. We wanted everyone to bring their kids, and what saved the day was having a few teenage babysitters on hand to keep them occupied so we could all visit. Guests had the option of looking after their children, or having someone else keep an eye on them so we could all have a good time.

Thats a thought?

[Anonymous]

OP here ... maybe the best option is to just invite adults and let her friends know verbally that if they want to bring their babies that is okay. The issue is that some of them have a newborn and a toddler so it would be weird to address the invitation to just two of them and leave the older one out. My sister would probably love to have the kids there but I personally think the moms would rather have an afternoon off!

[Anonymous]

It never would have occurred to me to address a baby shower invitation to a toddler. I would think (unless it is a super casual, backyard kind of affair) that the invited guest is the adult.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the formality - a backyard picnic BBQ then sure kids wouldn't be too much of a disaster, but if it's in the living room with punch and cake then, no, kids would not be a good idea.

Plus, keep in mind you might have to change the menu around to accommodate 10-15 kids - have things that don't stain (ie no meatballs, colored juices, etc.) AND you'll have to budget in extra $$ for more appetizers, maybe have to get a bigger cake, etc.

Hiring a teen babysitter, providing entertainment (coloring books are ok for 4 year olds, but what about 1 or 2 year olds or toddlers that need things babyproofed?), and babyproofing the house are other aspects to consider.

[Anonymous]

Unless the space is childproof, I think you are making a good decision to limit the invitation to babies.

[Anonymous]

I think that the focus should be on the mom to be. I once attended a shower where someone brought a one month old and the attention was on the new baby. If I received an invitation while I was nursing in those early days, I would either have brought my pump with me and leave hubby at home with a bottle of EBM and excuse myself for a few minutes to pump or, if I was unable to do this, decline the invite and send a gift. If the new mom doesn't mind, then I guess it isn't a big deal.

[Anonymous]

I never mind tiny babies at showers, the nursing thing I get. If the baby is bigger and can go a couple of hours, it would be best left at home.

But I have to say, unless hired babysitters are amazing, it could be a recipe for disaster. I would never ask a couple of teens to watch that many kids and expect it to go well. Someone is going to fall, get hurt, etc. It just seems like a lot of trouble for a day that is supposed to be about ONE woman. This is not a rehearsal dinner or a wedding reception. It is a tough call b/c so many of her friends have kids, but an invitation addressed to an adult should never be considered an invite to all kids. People understand that, right?

[Anonymous]

I agree to just address the invitation to the adults you are inviting and you will probably get phone calls asking if it's okay to bring their DC if they NEED to. In my case, my husband works in athletics and works a lot of weekends so I usually have to bring my toddler with me, but my friends know this and usually tell me it's okay to bring her.

[Anonymous]

This has been very helpful! Baby proofing the house where the shower will be probably NOT an option, so I think we'll just stick to adults and if people want to bring tiny babies then say that's fine. Thanks everyone.