What would be better about private school - a question for public school parents

[Anonymous]

My DD is 3 1/2 and we live in BCC cluster MoCo. We could pull off private school but it wouldn't be easy and we'd be financially tight for years. I went to public school and so did my husband, but I can understand that private school offers advantages that public doesn't - that it may be worth being tight and sacrificing for my kids' future. The problem is that every time I bring this up with my friends, even my husband, each person just seems to emphasize the positives and negatives that justifies their choice.

So I'm turning to DCUMers who have sent their kids to public - can you give me an honest assessment of meaningful reasons that private school would be better? I figure that may be the best way to get a balanced opinion. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

OP, like you and your husband, we went to public schools. We chose our n-hood in MoCo with the intent that our kids would do so as well. We were pleased with their MCPS elementary school, but after the oldest attended our public MS for one year, we moved him to private and subsequently did so with the younger kids as well. They have all attended the same DC private for MS and HS.

The single biggest difference we have found is class size. Our MCPS elementary had great teachers, a strong peer group for our kids and a wonderful feeling of community among families, but the smaller class sizes in private school offer significant benefits. I know many people say this is true only if your child is shy or "just average" and might get lost in a larger class setting, but our kids are outgoing and were in accelerated classes in MCPS. We still found that in smaller classes they participated more in class discussion, did more oral presentations, got more extensive feedback on writing and got to know their teachers better. In general, they were more challenged and engaged in their work. The two oldest have gone on to college and were extremely well-prepared for the academic demands of a highly selective college. Our youngest is now in HS and I know that MCPS class sizes have increased since she was in ES. If we had seen the current class sizes back when our kids were in ES I wonder if we would have moved them to private earlier.

[Anonymous]

We've done both for different kids for high school. I agree with pp that the class sizes are the biggest difference. 30-34 in public vs 15 in private. I think the main issue related to class size is writing. In private there are longer papers (like 10-12 pages). Public has 5-6 pages because no teacher could grade 120+ 12 page papers. That being said I think the rigor and grading of public school writing is as good as private. (caveat - based on our experience with only 1 excellent public and 2 private schools).

The other difference, which may or may not be relevant to you, is sports. Some public school sports teams are very difficult to make. Of course if you go to a WCAC school it is probably tougher. But at my DCs private school it is pretty easy.

You really need to make your own decision. Different things work for different kids.

[Anonymous]

We are also in MoCo and our public elementary feeds into one of the best public high schools in the area, but we have decided to send our DD to private school (at least for the early elemetary years). Top private/independent schools have low student to teacher ratios so kids get more attention (we feel this is very early for young children). There are also more time and resources available for movement, PE, arts, music, language, science classes at the private schools, because private schools are less pressured to spend a lot of time preparing their studens (at least in the early years) for standardized exams. Finally, top private/independent (such as Sidwell, Beauvoir, GDS, Maret) have very competive admissions process (they are very unlikely to admit kids with potential learning diabilities, behavioral problems, average to low IQ scores, or not ready for school due to lack of maturity of understanding of English language) so they end up admitting a very select group of very brigh and school ready kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, since you're never really going to get a balanced answer, next fall you should attend some private school open houses and tour your public school. Doing this will make the differences very clear. Once you see the differences, you can weigh they matter enough to you to shell out the tuition. We decided the differences were big enough that private school was worth it for our family. You may or may not reach the same conclusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are also in MoCo and our public elementary feeds into one of the best public high schools in the area, but we have decided to send our DD to private school (at least for the early elemetary years). Top private/independent schools have low student to teacher ratios so kids get more attention (we feel this is very early for young children). There are also more time and resources available for movement, PE, arts, music, language, science classes at the private schools, because private schools are less pressured to spend a lot of time preparing their studens (at least in the early years) for standardized exams. Finally, top private/independent (such as Sidwell, Beauvoir, GDS, Maret) have very competive admissions process (they are very unlikely to admit kids with potential learning diabilities, behavioral problems, average to low IQ scores, or not ready for school due to lack of maturity of understanding of English language) so they end up admitting a very select group of very brigh and school ready kids.

I was reading along and agreeing with this poster right up until he or she said "they are very unlikely to admit kids with potential learning diabilities, behavioral problems, average to low IQ scores, or not ready for school due to lack of maturity of understanding of English language." I don't think our family would be very comfortable in a private school where the implied lesson to the children is: you are more valuable because you are smarter, speak English better, never misbehave, and don't have learning "diabilities."

[Anonymous]

OP there's no one right choice: it really does depend on your child, your school options, your financial situation and other issues. I was in your shoes a few years ago and even posted about it here. We ended up having another child and that pretty much made the choice for us, since private for 2 kids over 12 years was not really within our reach. I was really worried about the size, especially because I have an active boy and I thought he would have a hard time learning in a large group or would be provoked to behavioral problems by the presence of so many distractions. That hasn't been the case at all. I would love tiny classes for my child and for everyone, but honestly he's had three fantastic years so far in a BCC cluster elementary. I'm not sure how they do it, but the teachers seem to be very skilled at managing large classrooms in a way that's productive for everyone. He is assigned interesting projects, not mountains of worksheets, and he has become an avid reader. Despite the lack of a competitive selections process as described by the PP, he is surrounded by lots of "very bright and school-ready kids." And we have all the resources we need for all the extras - camps, extracurriculars, travel and other enrichment. I'm sure he would have benefited from much of what a top tier private has to offer, but there is so much about that environment that makes me uncomfortable: the privilege, the competition, the constant expectations for fundraising, etc. I may reassess once my children hit middle school, but right now I honestly feel like we struck gold with MCPS. I also look around my son's school and realize that there are tons of people who at least from appearances have the resources to go private who don't...

One final point - I totally echo the PPs point about going to open houses etc. But also talk to your neighbors. Parents of current elementary students are the best sources of info. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks very much for the replies. I think you are all right and we should go to some open houses and go tour our elementary school. There are so many private schools and the chnace the get into aome of them is so low, it's hard to figure our which ones to tour! Maybe we'll to public school first and then realize we don't a have to worry about it

[Anonymous]

DS is at a private. When people ask why, they think they already know, but I think they are unprepared for one of the most basic reasons. He's very average. He isn't a star in anything. That's fine with us, but he wouldn't have as many opportunities in public. What I mean is, he not great at sports, so in public he would never make a team. At his private everyone makes the team. It means he can play. He isn't the best in math, so he wouldn't be in the best math class in public. In private the class is small so his teacher sees when he is struggling and works with him until he understands, so he doesn't get away with hiding in the back row and pretending to understand. Same with English. He is forced to pay attention so he has to work harder and he does better. It is better for a kid like him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks very much for the replies. I think you are all right and we should go to some open houses and go tour our elementary school. There are so many private schools and the chnace the get into aome of them is so low, it's hard to figure our which ones to tour! Maybe we'll to public school first and then realize we don't a have to worry about it

You should post on the Private School board for suggestions as to which schools to look at (or you could spend a good part of your fall, like we did, going to various open houses). I definitely think it's easier to narrow down your criteria (location, PK-12/k-6/8, progressive/traditional) and then only look at 4-5 + your public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are also in MoCo and our public elementary feeds into one of the best public high schools in the area, but we have decided to send our DD to private school (at least for the early elemetary years). Top private/independent schools have low student to teacher ratios so kids get more attention (we feel this is very early for young children). There are also more time and resources available for movement, PE, arts, music, language, science classes at the private schools, because private schools are less pressured to spend a lot of time preparing their studens (at least in the early years) for standardized exams. Finally, top private/independent (such as Sidwell, Beauvoir, GDS, Maret) have very competive admissions process (they are very unlikely to admit kids with potential learning diabilities, behavioral problems, average to low IQ scores, or not ready for school due to lack of maturity of understanding of English language) so they end up admitting a very select group of very brigh and school ready kids.

I was reading along and agreeing with this poster right up until he or she said "they are very unlikely to admit kids with potential learning diabilities, behavioral problems, average to low IQ scores, or not ready for school due to lack of maturity of understanding of English language." I don't think our family would be very comfortable in a private school where the implied lesson to the children is: you are more valuable because you are smarter, speak English better, never misbehave, and don't have learning "diabilities."

Most privates do have LD kids. Don't want the impression left that all privates lack that diversity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are also in MoCo and our public elementary feeds into one of the best public high schools in the area, but we have decided to send our DD to private school (at least for the early elemetary years). Top private/independent schools have low student to teacher ratios so kids get more attention (we feel this is very early for young children). There are also more time and resources available for movement, PE, arts, music, language, science classes at the private schools, because private schools are less pressured to spend a lot of time preparing their studens (at least in the early years) for standardized exams. Finally, top private/independent (such as Sidwell, Beauvoir, GDS, Maret) have very competive admissions process (they are very unlikely to admit kids with potential learning diabilities, behavioral problems, average to low IQ scores, or not ready for school due to lack of maturity of understanding of English language) so they end up admitting a very select group of very brigh and school ready kids.

Sorry but your idea that top schools don't admit anybody except perfect kids is not true. Private schools admit lots of different kids. Why do you think so many private's have learning specialists on staff? yes someone with severe learning disabilities might want to be at a school that specializes in that but many private school kids are in need of extra help.

Count in needs for athletics, musicians, diversity, parents who can make big donations, sibling policies and the admissions process is one where you just never know who will be admitted.

There are lots of bright kids but also many of the other that you mentioned as well.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the BCC cluster and generally thrilled with the schools. Having said that if I won the lottery tomorrow, I'd explore switching my kid to private. My kid loves being outdoors and I think he'd enjoy a campus where kids move outside between classes. He also enjoys sports, but I don't enjoy the constant hassle of carpooling, having them on campus would be ideal, but like the previous poster he's not a strong enough player to make the teams at Westland. At the high school level, I think the privates have much more personalized college counseling, which is a benefit.

Having said this, I'd also say that all of these things are "gravy" and not the meat and potatoes of school, so to speak. On my current income they aren't worth paying for. My kid also a bright but not brilliant, happy, social, organized kid. If I had a different kid, I might feel differently, A shy kid might benefit from the small group sizes at private. I also wonder if some privates offer more chances for the kids at the very top to stretch themselves. Special ed private schools like Lab have real benefits for some kids. If I had a different kid, I might decide that private school is worth a significant sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

OP, I feel biased so I didn't answer your question. But I do want to suggest picking up a copy if "The Goid School," by Peg Tyre. It's about how to get your child the best education possible, regardless of the type if school - public, private, parochial, charter, home school, etc.

One of the things it mentions is class size. Statistically, it doesn't matter much at all, other than for kids K-3rd grade, when it is better to have smaller class sizes. But the author warns against paying for private school to get the ratio down. Apparently the class has to be as small as 12-17 kids to be helpful. And I'm not sure if the "top" privates around here have such small classes. In other words, don't pay $30,000 to reduce class size from 28 to 20.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I feel biased so I didn't answer your question. But I do want to suggest picking up a copy if "The Goid School," by Peg Tyre. It's about how to get your child the best education possible, regardless of the type if school - public, private, parochial, charter, home school, etc.

One of the things it mentions is class size. Statistically, it doesn't matter much at all, other than for kids K-3rd grade, when it is better to have smaller class sizes. But the author warns against paying for private school to get the ratio down. Apparently the class has to be as small as 12-17 kids to be helpful. And I'm not sure if the "top" privates around here have such small classes. In other words, don't pay $30,000 to reduce class size from 28 to 20.

My son had 12 kids in his class and we don't pay anywhere clost to $30,000.