Do you get sick of your life not being your own??

[Anonymous]

Ok, I just have to vent. My husband and I are trying to have another child and have had one unsuccessful IUI and IVF. I am going to an acupuncurist now and was getting ready to do another (and last one for financial reasons) IVF cycle and was postponed by the docs so I can do a CCT. Man I was mad as I cleared my calendar for those weeks knowing all the monitoring, appts, etc. So I passed the test no problem and now, due to medical issues with my DH, I am postponing for another month. This stinks! I am really tired of having to clear my calendar to accomodate the appts, and everything else.

I don't mind all the medicines, etc. but don't like having constraints on my life during the weeks or weekends involved. Does anyone else feel this way??? I know that hopefully in the end it will all work out, but this is tough. We haven't told hardly anyone we are doing this as I don't want to be asked about it every time I see friends or family. Which I guess makes it harder when you clear your calendar.... ok, I'm done. It's been a tough week for me and now I have to move on.. thanks for listening.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize. We had to miss a family gathering because of IVF and years later I still occasionally get grief about it, but for whatever reason I can't bring myself to say-- "you wouldn't have a grandchild if we had shown up that weekend"!

[Anonymous]

Perhaps it's because you are trying for a second child. We have one and I was willing to do anything and more to make that happen.

[Anonymous]

It is hard to not feel in control of your life, body, schedule! I wish you luck and calmness!!

[Anonymous]

I didn't find it all that tough and I've gone through 8 IVF cycles. Twice we missed a minor weekend trip, but the IVF was more important to us. One of those times was because my period came really early and I needed to go in for my day 3 tests over the weekend instead of the following week. We did some calling around and found a clinic in the town we were going to visit that was willing to perform the day 3 tests, but we ended up deciding just to stay put.

All in all though, it isn't that huge a commitment. For most women it is just 10 days of monitoring (every other day for about 30 minutes), plus the egg retrieval and then the embryo transfer 3 or 5 days later. I was a slow responder, so I usually ended up have 12-14 days of monitoring. We always did the blast transfer so our transfers were on days 5 or 6. I gave myself my subcutaneous injections, and if DH wasn't around for the progesterone I'd get a friend to do it or ask my nurse.

I had one month where I skipped doing an IVF cycle since we had a big project due at work. They ended up postponing the due date of the project to the following month, but I went ahead with the IVF cycle that second month and ended up getting pregnant. I also missed some trips for work, but I just explained to my boss ahead of time that it I was unable to travel during a certain period (I usually said my husband already had a commitment out of town and since we had a DS, I could not travel).

We are lucky that we have so many clinics to choose from in this area. I've heard of women who have to actually travel to and stay in another city for their entire cycle since they don't have any options close to home.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I guess I am frustrated since during the summer there seems to be a invite/visit to family friends every weekend! I planned my June around it and then it was postponed. Now with this next cycle I chose to wait to have my DH heal up and both of us de-stress. I know it was the right thing to do, but I now think of all the timing. Maybe start on XXX day, can't go away the following weekend due to monitoring at that point, then to figure out the retrieval date and transfer. Yes I already have a DS, who came to us naturally after 9 months, so perhaps that is why this is so bothersome to me.

I appreciate you all listening to me, I realize I haven't been through as much as many others. But, infertility is frustrating whether you want the first or a sibling for your first.

[Anonymous]

I agree it's not the most convenient- and it's a huge effort- but it's something I HAD to do for both kids.. The part I disliked was the putting my life on hold in case I was pregnant by x date.. we didn't want to make plans in case I was pregnant- well, this lasted 2 years per child- at many points I had to mentally do something to move forward so I could view this as a positive - like our car, I wanted a larger car prior to DC1.. time went on and on- months, years- finally i just had to get the larger car just so I didn't feel like i was on hold that much and almost thinking if i did this then this would set being pregnant in motion.. it's hard to explain.. it was definitely a tough time.. hang in there..