Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

I’d pick therapy over generous subscriptions of cheap wine. But thanks for the deal on both Jen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That walking out of the graduation thing that Jen seemed to think was so cool and funny really confirmed to me that she is the kind of mom that laughs at her bratty kids yet seems to want to get away from them as much as possible. That behavior really showed some of the dreaded "privilege" that she and her followers love to identify in the rest of us. I think it wouldn't be hard to find quite a few high school kids who would think it very hip to skip graduation. But there are also quite a few parents who would step in and tell the kid to get out on that stage and walk. Because of self respect, respect for your family who got you there, respect for a rite of passage that will have meaning down the road, and respect for your classmates, some of whom may actually appreciate the diploma they receive.

the walking right out of graduation was an a-hole move. i wish every school would put into place something that discourages that type of crappy behavior. i know some schools are able to keep the kids in the seats, and some completely are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That walking out of the graduation thing that Jen seemed to think was so cool and funny really confirmed to me that she is the kind of mom that laughs at her bratty kids yet seems to want to get away from them as much as possible. That behavior really showed some of the dreaded "privilege" that she and her followers love to identify in the rest of us. I think it wouldn't be hard to find quite a few high school kids who would think it very hip to skip graduation. But there are also quite a few parents who would step in and tell the kid to get out on that stage and walk. Because of self respect, respect for your family who got you there, respect for a rite of passage that will have meaning down the road, and respect for your classmates, some of whom may actually appreciate the diploma they receive.

the walking right out of graduation was an a-hole move. i wish every school would put into place something that discourages that type of crappy behavior. i know some schools are able to keep the kids in the seats, and some completely are not.

I've never even heard of this being a thing that kids do. I would die of embarrassment if one of mine did that. (And, well, as someone whose kids come near the end of the alphabet, if I have to sit through 500 other kids first, what makes you early alphabet people so super special that you can't sit around until my kid is done too?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone else find his use of “yo” and “dope” excessive for a man in his late forties? He’s trying way too hard to represent. My sense is he has been posturing his whole life, faking his heterosexuality and to some extent of the depth of his black identity. His closest friends and girlfriend are all white. On one hand he’s like respect me I’m intelligent and educated-look I even say so here on my self designed black graphic tee shirt-then on the other hand he’s dropping Tupac/DrDre/Idris Elba black culture references to keep up his street cred. It’s all so contrived.
A pp got shredded for saying she found him unattractive, while insisting it wasn’t because he’s black.
She was labeled a racist and the thread moved on.
I’ve struggled with that, why can’t she have an honest visceral reaction to the appearance of the man without being attacked?
Yesterday a man of Tyler’s height, skin tone and age struck up a conversation with me as we waited to check out of Costco. He was strikingly beautiful and attractive in every way. He is a Brazilian retired professional soccer coach who has travelled the world. He was confident and at complete ease with himself. When I contrast that with what I saw in Tyler on the video I shutter at the difference. Tyler is unattractive and it’s got nothing to do with his skin color it’s his artifice of a persona. Many of us are having a gut check that something is not right here and it makes him unattractive. Again not because of his race but because of his self conscious posturing.

Re the “yo” and “dope”. If you think this video was excessive you should try listening to his book on audio. Oy… drove me CRAZY!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She seems drunk in her latest wine video. Definitely not normal.

I only read her posts. I never turn the audio on in her videos. I can’t even watch with no sound for more than a few seconds without the cringe factor. For some reason I turned the wine video on. Wow. She’ really seems over medicated or slightly high or had too much to drink. Not fall down drunk but glassy eyes, disjointed rambling sentences. She’s just doesn’t seem quite with it.

I razz on her and think she’s fake and pretentious. But watching this I could only think I hope she gets some help. She doesn’t look like she’s in a good place mentally or emotionally.

[Anonymous]

In her video with Tyler, in the comments, an uncanny number of comments mention his book and audio book. The video wasn’t about his book…I think this is all fake, all a ploy, and she gets a cut of the book sales.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She seems drunk in her latest wine video. Definitely not normal.

I only read her posts. I never turn the audio on in her videos. I can’t even watch with no sound for more than a few seconds without the cringe factor. For some reason I turned the wine video on. Wow. She’ really seems over medicated or slightly high or had too much to drink. Not fall down drunk but glassy eyes, disjointed rambling sentences. She’s just doesn’t seem quite with it.

I razz on her and think she’s fake and pretentious. But watching this I could only think I hope she gets some help. She doesn’t look like she’s in a good place mentally or emotionally.

PP and I thought the same; the wine video was laughable for her manic energy and was reminiscent of an overly enthusiastic carnival barker-type hostess on late night home shopping channel.

Yesterday I posted asking about her flushed face and wondering if she wears Invisalign. I think she is drunk or mixing meds or maybe high or all.

[Anonymous]

“Make good choices, Jen.” Her ex/children’s father is dealing with addictions of his own, her partner doesn’t drink, and a close family member has had tangles with too much to drink while behind the wheel. Selling subscriptions to sone while obviously tipsy is not a good look.

[Anonymous]

She must have pretty good success selling things for her to get so many deals.

[Anonymous]

Would being a high functioning alcoholic explain some of Jen’s changes in recent years? Someone else mentioned how alcoholics can get red necks and faces after years of abuse. Wonder how much cheap wine she’s putting down when she’s “just livin my life.”

[Anonymous]

Is there a chance she is getting in a tanning bed or spending excessive amounts of time in the sun? I tend to turn red instead of tan so I go over the top with sunscreen because red skin is not a good look on anyone.

[Anonymous]

“If your face turns red after a couple glasses of wine, you’re not alone. Many people experience facial flushing when they drink alcohol. The technical term for this condition is “alcohol flush reaction.”
Most of the time, the flushing happens because you have trouble digesting alcohol completely.
One 2013 studyTrusted Source showed that people who get flushed after drinking may have a higher chance of developing high blood pressure.”
Taken from an article about alcohol flush reaction.

Perhaps this helps explain her high blood pressure as well. But then that would mean she’s been drinking in the middle of the day because in her daytime posts she’s red as well.

[Anonymous]

Our closest family friend's daughter bailed on her hs graduation and that experience gave me more empathy for the kids who were just not into high school. She's a great kid who suffered thru HS but pushed thru and made it. And come graduation day was like nope, not into it. And her parents honored that choice (it's her ceremony they pointed out).

And it reminded me that my traditional color in the lines way isn't the only way of doing things, and sometimes maintaining the relationship with the kid is worth tossing out some expectations.

All that to say, I think Jen posts that stuff so parents who have kids like that...who do things differently...don't feel so alone and judged. I think a lot of parents who otherwise live in a color in the lines worldview feel ostracized or embarrassed that they haven't parented better or raised good little kids...so when Jen posts that it reaches an audience that needs to hear that it is ok for our kids to do stuff that doesn't fit the norm and we aren't awful parents who raised little demon spawns.

in fact I think this is when Jen is at her best. pointing out things in our mom culture that are held sacred that can be shaken up or thrown out and it's ok. It's ok to not have it all together and for it to look different in different families.

If she would just stay in this lane of wisdom, authenticity, admitting to discomfort and grace for ourselves I think shed fare much better. But shes sometimes that person and mostly not that person anymore.

Insert code/link/promo here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our closest family friend's daughter bailed on her hs graduation and that experience gave me more empathy for the kids who were just not into high school. She's a great kid who suffered thru HS but pushed thru and made it. And come graduation day was like nope, not into it. And her parents honored that choice (it's her ceremony they pointed out).

And it reminded me that my traditional color in the lines way isn't the only way of doing things, and sometimes maintaining the relationship with the kid is worth tossing out some expectations.

All that to say, I think Jen posts that stuff so parents who have kids like that...who do things differently...don't feel so alone and judged. I think a lot of parents who otherwise live in a color in the lines worldview feel ostracized or embarrassed that they haven't parented better or raised good little kids...so when Jen posts that it reaches an audience that needs to hear that it is ok for our kids to do stuff that doesn't fit the norm and we aren't awful parents who raised little demon spawns.

in fact I think this is when Jen is at her best. pointing out things in our mom culture that are held sacred that can be shaken up or thrown out and it's ok. It's ok to not have it all together and for it to look different in different families.

If she would just stay in this lane of wisdom, authenticity, admitting to discomfort and grace for ourselves I think shed fare much better. But shes sometimes that person and mostly not that person anymore.

Insert code/link/promo here.

I don't think there's anything wrong with bailing on graduation, particularly if HS was tough...it's the walking out part that seems rude. I think it's one thing to raise kids who don't fit the norm (my oldest has never fit the norm, ever) and to learn what can be thrown out, but it's absolutely possible to teach them how not to be rude while doing so. But I agree that Jen has said some good stuff regarding parenting when things aren't the norm...her long-ago blog post about managing expectations for big holidays was a radical shift for me. That's the Jen that I miss, the one who isn't turning out Pinterest perfect costumes for kids, has never done a themed anything, and has a 'spicy' family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our closest family friend's daughter bailed on her hs graduation and that experience gave me more empathy for the kids who were just not into high school. She's a great kid who suffered thru HS but pushed thru and made it. And come graduation day was like nope, not into it. And her parents honored that choice (it's her ceremony they pointed out).

And it reminded me that my traditional color in the lines way isn't the only way of doing things, and sometimes maintaining the relationship with the kid is worth tossing out some expectations.

All that to say, I think Jen posts that stuff so parents who have kids like that...who do things differently...don't feel so alone and judged. I think a lot of parents who otherwise live in a color in the lines worldview feel ostracized or embarrassed that they haven't parented better or raised good little kids...so when Jen posts that it reaches an audience that needs to hear that it is ok for our kids to do stuff that doesn't fit the norm and we aren't awful parents who raised little demon spawns.

in fact I think this is when Jen is at her best. pointing out things in our mom culture that are held sacred that can be shaken up or thrown out and it's ok. It's ok to not have it all together and for it to look different in different families.

If she would just stay in this lane of wisdom, authenticity, admitting to discomfort and grace for ourselves I think shed fare much better. But shes sometimes that person and mostly not that person anymore.

Insert code/link/promo here.

Thank you for this. I was NOT excited for my second child’s graduation because HS was HELL for her. She walked but if she had wanted to bail we would have been okay with her decision (long time rule follower here).