Bullying - cause we dress nicer.

[Anonymous]

We just moved from the burbs to DC and my oldest daughter is in 2nd grade in a DCPS in an up-and-coming area. They wear uniform Mon.-Thurs., and on Fridays they can wear their regular clothes. She came home the other day asking me for advice about what to do if a class mate keeps saying: "You dress weird. You act weird. Your shoes and clothes are ugly". She was hurt! My daughter is a very sweet, mature, and and well-behaved girl. She cares about others and does not seek conflicts, so it was hard for her to know what to say.

We are not wealthy in any way, I do not over-dress my daughter. Preferably, I shop on sale! There is a socio-economic difference that is more visible in DC than we experienced in VA. I tried to explain this to her, that not everyone can afford the same, so most likely this was just a mean comment from someone who was jealous.

Has anyone experienced something like this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just moved from the burbs to DC and my oldest daughter is in 2nd grade in a DCPS in an up-and-coming area. They wear uniform Mon.-Thurs., and on Fridays they can wear their regular clothes. She came home the other day asking me for advice about what to do if a class mate keeps saying: "You dress weird. You act weird. Your shoes and clothes are ugly". She was hurt! My daughter is a very sweet, mature, and and well-behaved girl. She cares about others and does not seek conflicts, so it was hard for her to know what to say.

We are not wealthy in any way, I do not over-dress my daughter. Preferably, I shop on sale! There is a socio-economic difference that is more visible in DC than we experienced in VA. I tried to explain this to her, that not everyone can afford the same, so most likely this was just a mean comment from someone who was jealous.

Has anyone experienced something like this?

I wouldn't assume that they say she dresses weird and her clothes and shoes are ugly because you dress her nicer than the other kids. Maybe compared to the other kids, she does dress different, but different isn't necessarily nicer.

[Anonymous]

I doubt the clothes are really the catalyst. The other girl has some sort of issue with your daughter.

I think one of the most empowering things you can teach a child is to say, "I don't care what you think" and then tell them to walk away.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I see your point PP of course everyone has different tastes and may not see it as nicer. It was just what struck me initially since it's an up-and-coming DCPS with more low-low income families.

But then again we are from Europe so THAT in itself is different.

[Anonymous]

OP here just correcting typo "low income".

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you're jumping to some conclusions. First, someone said something mean to your daughter, but not all meanness is bullying. Bullying involves a power differential, sustained over time, with intention to cause harm, among other things.

Also, you don't know whether your daughter dresses "nicer" than the girl who hurt her feelings. You just know the other girl said your daughter dressed "weird" and "ugly," but who knows what that means in this 2d grader's mind?

The real question is how to advise your daughter. I think if this is an ongoing problem that is really upsetting your daughter, it might be a good time to ask the teacher for advice on how to handle it. Not by assuming the other girl is jealous, but simply stating the facts and asking for advice.

If it's not a major major problem, this is a good opportunity to teach your daughter that "yes, sometimes people say mean things. Who knows why? Maybe she's having a bad day. Shrug it off. Ignore her, or tell her calmly, 'that wasn't a nice thing to say.' This helps you remember how to speak kindly to people."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I doubt the clothes are really the catalyst. The other girl has some sort of issue with your daughter.

I think one of the most empowering things you can teach a child is to say, "I don't care what you think" and then tell them to walk away.

Maybe she does have some issues with my daughter who knows what goes on in the minds of 2nd graders. I do think this experience is a good lesson for her to stand up for herself more. "I don't care what you think". "You don't have to wear what I wear"..etc.

To the poster about me jumping to conclusions. No it wasn't a 1 time incident. This girl obviously has a need to constantly comment on my daughters clothes/shoes. I did tell my daughter she should talk to her teacher about it.