Do playdates require lunch?
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Anonymous
| I'm a new SAHM to two toddlers, so I'm new to the whole "playdate" thing. I've met a few mom friends through the playground, or church, and we're starting to have playdates. I've had moms and kids over to my house a few times, usually around 10 or 10:30. I've had a snack and juice for the kids and moms, but not offered lunch. Moms and kids usually have left around noonish to go have lunch in their own house. I've always thought these playdates went well, and all parties enjoyed themselves. But we went to a playdate last week at a neighborhood mom's house, around 10:30, and around 11:30, she started to get lunch ready for us all. Without even asking if we were staying for lunch. It was just assumed. Don't get me wrong, I think that was very nice of this mom, but it just made me wonder if I was being rude when I didn't offer my guests lunch at our house. Since most of my mom and kid friends are local, I just thought that everyone would go home to their own house for lunch and subsequent nap. But, maybe I'm being a poor host... |
Anonymous
| Lunch is usually the exception, rather than the rule. Generally everyone comes for the morning, runs around and then heads home for the downward slide from lunch to nap. |
Anonymous
| I always feed people. I think its rude not too at least offer. I usually ask in advanced for food preferences. Its not hard to make a basic sandwich for the kids and sandwiches or salads for the adults. Once you are making a snack, you might as well make lunch. |
Anonymous
| No, if everyone is leaving around noonish, you absolutely do not need to feed them lunch. Snacks are fine! And there is a HUGE difference, PP, between putting out crackers and some fruit then trying to make sandwiches and salads for everyone. Playdates DO NOT require full meals, and it is NOT rude at all not to serve them. |
Anonymous
| I prefer when playdates do NOT involve lunch. My DD eats much better at home w/o the distraction of her friends. I also find that often my DD and her "friends" do really well for about an hour and half but after that things start to deteriorate. If a host has made lunch I feel obligated to stay and eat it, even when I know DD (or the other child/children) are nearing the end of their ropes. Playdates that start mid-morning and extend through lunch often end in tears... whereas when we can leave when things start to wind down they end on a better note. |
Anonymous
| Personally we schedule playdates for before or after lunch, rarely to we include a lunch. Snack, drinks etc but rarely lunch. There are so many allergies, food intolerances etc that I don't want to get involved in that unless I really know the kid and family. We also generally stick to a max of 2 hours for the playdates - longer than that things tend to go downhill for the kids, me or we have something else that needs to be accomplished that day. I do specificially mention to families a pick up time - so there isn't any confusion. Granted we all run late and I will feed the other kid if I'm feeding mine lunch but I normally call the parent to let them know what I'm doing and what I'm feeding them "About to feed John a lunch of grilled cheese is that ok? Our should he wait to eat until you pick him up." I also tell the parents if we have lunch plans so there won't be any confusion. |
Anonymous
| You don't have to serve lunch. I try to be specific in my invites so there's no expectations. Hey guys, wanna come over from 10 to about 12? I'll have snacks for the kiddos! |
Anonymous
This is a good approach. Once we were invited to a playdate where the mom said she'd provide lunch. But I think she forgot, because my kid and I stayed and stayed until I *finally*realized the host mom forgot she had mentioned lunch in her invite! I'm still cringing a bit at the idea that she must have been thinking to herself "when are they going to leave already?!" 
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Anonymous
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Honestly, I've found the few times where I tried to feed the moms, they just refuse to eat- like it is some type of taboo to admit you eat food after you become a mom. So I just planned playdates so they didn't overlap with lunch. With the young ones, playdates were 2 hours tops, normally shorter, so there was no need for lunch. Offering a snack is good. And being upfront is also good (setting an end time, saying you will provide snack).
I think the only playdates that I had over lunch were ones where the "playdate" was really for the moms - as we were friends and wanted to have lunch and just hoped the kids would get along. |
Anonymous
| I think it's polite to have snacks available, but lunch is not necessary. |
Anonymous
| In my playgroup circle, we meet at 10 am and the natural ending time is usually around 12:00 or so, just because our kids are 2-3 years old and that's when they naturally start getting hungry and tired. We always set out snacks for the kids and moms (easy things- fruit, bagel thins, Goldfish, coffee, juice boxes) and snack during the playgroup but nobody has put out a full lunch spread and I don't think any of us have any plans to do that. So, don't feel rude- this mom maybe felt like doing it, but I'm sure most of the other moms in the group don't expect it when they go to anyone's house. |
Ariana
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| If you start the playdate in the morning, you don't have to serve lunch. |
Anonymous
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OP here. Thanks everybody! Just wanted to make sure I wasn't committing a playdate faux pas by not serving lunch. I feel as many of you have stated, that my children begin melting down during/shortly after lunch, so best to do that without guests.
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