Cocktail party to celebrate 2nd kid

[Anonymous]

I'm due in a couple months. I don't expect or want a second baby shower- we have enough stuff! But I would like to have a little cocktail party a few weeks prior for some friends, to celebrate the impending second kid (since we will then be followed by the holidays, the craziness of having two kids, etc). the weekend I'm looking at also happens to be a couple days before my birthday.

Would it be tacky to host something, saying something along the following - 'please join us to celebrate the impending arrival of "Scott's" new sibling, and "Amanda's" birthday! Please, in lieu of gifts, make a donation to (your favorite cause) or (some of my favorite causes), but please please please, no gifts!"

Or just go with "we're havinga cocktail party, please join us."

thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's tacky at all to host a celebration for your new baby and your birthday! That thought wouldn't even cross my mind - especially since you specify not to bring gifts. Do it, and have fun - it sounds like a great idea.

[Anonymous]

Just go with cocktail party. If you request donations, it's still akin to asking for a gift, plus you run the risk of people bringing a gift anyway if they know it's a pseudo-baby-celebration (people shouldn't do it, but they will anyway). If you really don't want presents and you really just want a party before he gets here, don't mention the baby at all.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if I got this invitation I would not know whether it was for a shower, a child's birthday or a Saturday night adults-only cocktail party. I think I would separate them a bit: a party for your daughter's birthday that is hers alone, a last hurrah cocktail party with friends if you would like, and, if someone else offers a shower, perhaps a gracious thank you and instead of gifts, do a "Stuff My Freezer" with meals and baked goods instead of baby gear. Just my 2 cents, FWIW. I'm sure your friends and family would love to celebrate these occasions with you. Congrats on our second child!

[Anonymous]

PP here, OOPS, of course I meant congrats on YOUR second child!!!

[Anonymous]

I think you should simply have a cocktail party. Particularly if the invitation is coming from you, then I think you definitely shouldn't say you're celebrating an impending arrival. People will feel obligated to bring gifts and it will seem like you're throwing yourself a shower. Even with the donations suggestion, it will seem like you're throwing yourself a shower. Just have a party.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for cocktail party. If you tell people to give to a charity, you're specifically asking them to spend money. And people often feel that they have to give MORE to a charity than they would for a modest shower gift.

If you want to specify that it's a celebration of all the great things going on in your life, that's nice. I would just put at the bottom "No gifts, just your presence" or something along those lines. Why demand donations?

[Anonymous]

Another vote for simply a cocktail party.

[Anonymous]

I'm thinking of doing this for my second, but was planning on having a no-gifts cocktail party AFTER the second is born, so people can meet the new baby (and I can, you know, have a cocktail or two). Would this work for you?

Definitely do something separate from your first's birthday party.

[Anonymous]

I think having a party and saying we're celebrating multiple things (i.e. your birthday and the baby's arrival) is totally fine. You can call it a cocktail party - for example in the evite and in the description below say what you're celebrating.

I'd just say no gifts too, if you do say charity, then people will feel obliged to donate something.

[Anonymous]

Cocktails!! - I hope I'm invited!!!

[Anonymous]

I actually like the idea of a "last hurrah before all hell breaks loose" cocktail party. It's got a sense of humor and the emphasis is on having fun, not necessarily a new baby. You could add the part about no gifts at the bottom, just to make sure people get it.