Quetion about legacies

[Anonymous]

DH and I both went to the same top 20 college, so I suppose DC would be a legacy there. We're fairly young, and DC is still in kindergarten, so I don't know much about how legacies work. We are lifetime alumni members, but other than that, we haven't been able to give any money to the college. Are legacies only given a leg up during admissions if parents have been giving the school money? Would DC have a slight advantage even if we don't make any donations?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, typo in the title!

[Anonymous]

Troll!

[Anonymous]

Not a troll. We are both first generation college graduates, so we don't really have family that we can ask about this.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the school. Here are my 3 points of advice:
1. Be involved in the school through donations, volunteering, hosting events etc. It helps if you are a known name.
2. Effing relax. Your kid is 5. You have over 10 years to worry about this.
3. DO NOT push your school on your kid. I know several kids whose parents pushed them to go to their school. Some did not get in (despite being a double legacy) and felt like a failure. Some either flunked out or transferred because the school was not right for them. I have one close friend who was miserable the entire 4 years because she hated the school, the area it was in, and the environment.

Please please let your kid be her own person and choose a school that is right for her personality!

[Anonymous]

The fact that you both went to the same school is a good reason for your DC not to go there. Its really important at that point in his or her life she follow her own path. The pressure to go his or her parents' school can be really distorting. She's entitled to an open shot wherever she wants.

My DH went to a different school than I did but I have told my DD that I do not want her to go to my school. I loved it, but I want her to get out from our shadow.

Please don't think about this for 12 years. Your child is five. Its just not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The fact that you both went to the same school is a good reason for your DC not to go there. Its really important at that point in his or her life she follow her own path. The pressure to go his or her parents' school can be really distorting. She's entitled to an open shot wherever she wants.

My DH went to a different school than I did but I have told my DD that I do not want her to go to my school. I loved it, but I want her to get out from our shadow.

Please don't think about this for 12 years. Your child is five. Its just not healthy.

OP here. I'm definitely not stressing about it. But if it would be helpful to give a few hundred dollars to the college each year and if there would be any benefit to starting now (given that we are talking about hundreds a year and not thousands and thousands), I would like to go ahead and get started. If it's not a factor, I would probably give that money to another charity. I'm fine if DC decides to go to another school, so we wouldn't pressure DC about it. It's not a bad school, so I would just like to do what I can to make it one of DC's options, that's all.

[Anonymous]

A couple of hundred dollars is not going to be a blip on the radar of any Top 20 school.

Agree with PPs, let this one go. If your DD wants to go to your alma mater, let her get in on her own merits, like you did.

[Anonymous]

Depends if it is public or private...you need to be more specific OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends if it is public or private...you need to be more specific OP

It's UVA. And we are both minority alums, if that matters at all.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't see anything wrong with asking this question. I'll assume you're not obsessed with college admissions for your 5 yo and just curious about establishing a donation history. I don't know about UVA in particular, but my DH went to Duke and gave every year (usually $100) to the Annual Fund. Our DS is at Duke now, and I do believe his legacy status helped, although no idea if our small consistent donations made a difference. Also, UVA as a state school may treat legacies differently, but I'd say it couldn't hurt to donate something on a regular basis to your Alma Mater, just in case.

[Anonymous]

You could also think about other ways to get involved. My school offers alumni interviews, so I volunteer with that group to meet with applicants.

[Anonymous]

A few hundred dollars a year is not going to make a difference.

[Anonymous]

DS is getting to apply to colleges. He is interested in the public one his dad went to. He asked if he had an advantage because he was a legacy. I said "hell no we never donated more than $100 every 5 years or so". Am I misinformed?

[Anonymous]

IDK, I know the Ivies and private LACs usually tell you flat out that legacies do get a small advantage. I doubt ll or even most of these parents were big contributors.