Disclose or not?
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Anonymous
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My 16 year old daughter is a junior. I am in the process of learning everything I can about the college admissions process.
I am seeking help and advice. Her father is incarcerated, and has been since she was 4 years old. She has good grades (over 4.0 weighted), and she is in the IB program. She expects to graduate with the full IB diploma. She wants a top tier school. Her stats fall below top tier. She is right on the edge, as far as I can tell, of being able to recieve a scholarship to mid-range schools based on her SAT scores and grades. As a single parent, I don't have a huge income- I make about 65,000 a year- so a scholarship is a must for us. Do I (or does she) disclose about the difficult circumstances she has endured (incarcerated parent) or do I leave it off the app and hope for the best? Thanks |
Anonymous
| I would include it. Perhaps she could use the subject matter in her essay? She has obviously proven herself and I cannot imagine that her father's mistake will be held against her. You sound like a wonderful parent. Good luck to you both! |
Anonymous
| Definitely disclose. She has overcome tremendous hardship. |
Anonymous
Totally agree with this. |
Anonymous
| What part of the application would she put that info on? Do you mean in her essay? Has she really overcome hardship from him being in jail? If she has, I would encourage her to include it in an essay. If it is just a fact, I wouldn't. |
Anonymous
| Use it. You have to stand out in your application. You also have to use it honestly. Admissions committees can read authenticity from the full application package. How is your daughter different from another child of a single mom? |
Anonymous
| Agree with the PPs. Her essay should focus on this - assuming she is comfortable writing about it. Although it was her father's mistake- she has paid a huge price for it. It shows she had overcome adversity- 4.0 gpa! Way to go mom! It would make her stand out (not in a superficial way)-and it's a fact. What does it mean to her? An authentic essay could really help any candidate for college admissions- and this one would I think make the reader want to help her! Good luck! |
Anonymous
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OP here. It's a weighted 4.0 gpa, not a 4.0 gpa. Her unweighted gpa is a 3.5
My concern is that if she uses if for the essay, it will look like the hardship defines her. I am even concerned that they will think she is trashy or has mental issues and not accept her. I have thought about writing a separate letter explaining the circumstances and our need for financial aid and including that- however I don't want to ruin her app with overkill or financial neediness. I would like her to get into her dream schools without using this if we don't need to....but if this is the "hook" she needs to get it, I am not above using it, as it has been difficult for her. Thanks for the advice. |
Anonymous
| If she's got the stats to apply to too schools, nobody's going to think she is trashy or unstable. Colleges actually seek out kids with different types of life experiences, rather than just another normal kid from another normal family. Your daughter has impressive grades, but the competition is fierce at top top schools, and she probably won't get in unless there is something that sets her apart. I'm sure this situation has caused her more than her share of hardship over the years. She should absolutely use it to her advantage now. Keep in mind once she gets in she's not going to be interacting with anyone who has any idea what was on her application. I think you'd be doing her a huge disservice by not having her disclose this. |
Anonymous
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OP, I think you should let your daughter decide whether she wants to disclose this and in what manner.
Financial aid decisions are strictly about the income numbers. They will probably want to know why her father's income can't be considered, but after that, it won't make a difference if he was incarcerated and won't increase the award. Scholarships are a different story and perhaps a grantor will be swayed by her overcoming a hardship. But, again, when and how to disclose really should be her decision, not yours. She should also be filling out these applications herself. Colleges can tell when parents over involve themselves in the application process and this can raise a red flag. |
Anonymous
100% this, especially the first sentence and last two sentences. |
Anonymous
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Agree that in need blind schools finanical aid and admissions are separate processes, and even to a large degree in schools that are not fully need blind (who typically use ability to pay at the margins, not for the majority of applicants). I would disclose for financial aid (you may not have a choice there) but not so sure I would on the app unless it really has defined your DD and it is something she can write a compelling essay about.
The top tier schools have more generous aid available and ivy league schools will do full tuition grants at your income level. But a 3.5 GPA is unfortunately not ivy level. |
Anonymous
This is not a hardship, kids of single parents do well all over the place such as kids hwo parnts were killed or died etc. For every kid who thinks they have a hardship, there are 100 more ahead of them with a story that is a lot more of a hardship. |
Anonymous
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Disagree that 3.5 is not ivy level. It completely depends on how rigorous and competitive the curriculum and school are, on her test scores, and other factors. (IB is generally quite rigorous.)
Her father's incarceration could provide for a compelling essay IF she feels comfortable writing about it. |