I am lonely and drink too much

[Anonymous]

Wine that is. My husband travels and works late a lot. I am tapped, and lonely at night. I am sahm but kids are, as if this year, both in school full day. Anyone else? Advice? Thanks in advance. (my husband's situation is not going to change any time soon).

[Anonymous]

Find work and friends.

If your children are in school full day (is that until 3pm or later?), and you are able to work, then do so.
It can be part-time, volunteer, anything!
You need social interaction, you need intellectual stimulation, you need to fulfill goals for yourself (outside of house and children).

Then you will have more self-esteem and feel more healthy pressure to not let yourself go.

[Anonymous]

Can you address either being exhausted or lonely? Can you get a mother's helper?

Maybe host a book club (not that would help with the drinking) but at least you'd have company. Drinking wine won't address your loneliness.

You are not alone.

Maybe find something to occupy your hands when you feel like drinking, like knitting, or something creative, like drawing.

[Anonymous]

Now that the weather is nice, sometimes it helps just to be outside. If you like to read or do stuff on a laptop or iPad, even if you just find a coffee shop or park you like and go there after you drop the kids off, that fills a morning/afternoon nicely and might set you up to be upbeat for the day. If you like to cook, you can get groceries (a small amount) daily before you pick up the kids. Making a meal is fulfilling and can be fun. After dinner, you can THEN get to stuff around the house (cleaning, catching up on television, whatever) and hopefully not feel as lonely or compelled to sit and drink.

[Anonymous]

Get a job at the liquor store.

[Anonymous]

Let's be friends. We can drink it up together. That will solve one of your two issues.

[Anonymous]

Take an exercise class. You get a high from the endorphin and it's really easy to make friends there. No matter how awful things get, that is something I look forward to and I always leave feeling happier except when we get a bad sub who doesn't know how to keep things lively and fun.

[Anonymous]

Yes to the exercise recommendation! I was just going to suggest taking up running or swimming. Good for body, mind and soul. Put the bottle down, please.

[Anonymous]

get a job, duh.

[Anonymous]

She has 6 hours alone all day. Why the hell would she wait until AFTER the kids get home to clean? Besides-that's drinking time.

Join a gym, find some hobbies or work. Being alone and unfulfilled is no good. The more free time I have the more depressed I get.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer work, part time job, or class during the day. I also like the idea of going to a coffee shop with a book just to be out and about. Cultivate your interests/meet people. Meetup.com might be an option.

I would also suggest getting a dog to motivate you to get out of the house and exercise and company for you when DH is traveling.

When your kids transition to full time school, it's a transition for you as well. I would consider talking with a therapist if you're feeling overwhelmed. Take care of yourself, OP.

[Anonymous]

Definitely find some exercise classes in the middle of the day and go! Once you're a regular, you'll start to know the other regulars and you'll build yourself a little community there. Also, look into other things like the PTA, etc. Sounds like you need something to fill your days now that your kids are in school, but I can see not wanting to put a job in the mix that would interfere with you being the primary caregiver while your husband is away or working.

Nothing wrong with having a drink after the kids go to bed, though. I tried giving up midweek wine for Lent and couldn't do it - I really savor that (reasonably sized) glass of red every night after my daughter goes down! it's like my signal that it's Me Time.

[Anonymous]

+ Join a gym.
+ Volunteer. Outside your children't orbit might make sense. Many museums run docent programs with training. Or at school.
+ Join/start a book group.

[Anonymous]

AA Meetings during school hours. You won't be lonely and you won't be drinking. AA offers great fellowship and will help you understand why you drink.

[Anonymous]

This is so Mad Men.

Get a job, get a job, get a job.