we're in break down mode
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My LD DC is 8 and has gone from a sweet good natured kid, to an easily frustrated, temper tantrum throwing, back talking kid. She's in the second grade and school has become extremely challenging. She's non-ASD, dyslexic, and has severe expressive speech delays. (She sees an SLP and special ed teacher.)
She had a tantrum for a half hour today b/c she had lost the privilege to watch an episode of tv. This is not the norm and this melt down behavior has been going on close to 6 months. We are at the end of our rope. We live in Montgomery County. Suggestions for therapists are welcome. TIA |
Anonymous
|
I am so sorry you are dealing with this.
Have their been any other stressors and/or big changes in her life that may have started around that time (e.g. death of relative, teacher went on maternity leave, bullying, birth of a sibling, move to a new home)? Another thought I have is...is there any chance she is starting to hit puberty early. I keep reading it's starting earlier and earlier. I hope someone has a good therapist rec for you! |
Anonymous
|
I feel your pain, truly. Even though she's not on the spectrum, I would highly recommend ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) or behavior therapy. This has been incredibly helpful in dealing with our ASD son and his meltdowns (which used to be insane and are now MUCH fewer and, when they do happen, much more manageable).
I will also say that 6 does just seem to be a difficult age. Our up-till-then-easy-going now 7-y-o was a monster at 6. She had a 20-min fit over not getting a cookie, after she had already had ice cream. It was like watching a different person. We just ignored a lot of the behavior, never gave in to it, of course, and much of it has gone away. She will try to get it started, but I tell her the answer (no, later, whatever) and then tell her I am not going to speak about it anymore or address her fit. That usually keeps the outbursts down to 3 minutes or so. Of course I have the advantage of all the behavior therapy we've done for my son. Highly recommend it and then you can use it on whomever (works on husbands too)! |
Anonymous
The behavior started early in the school year, mainly I think over her academic frustrations and the gap between DC and her classmates is more obvious. For example, reading is still so much of a struggle. I do wonder about the early puberty as well. Not sure what can be done about that, but I do think a therapist might help her articulate her frustrations. |
Anonymous
| Take her to a child psychiatrist and make sure she isn't suffering from depression or anxiety. Something is going on. |
Anonymous
Ideally, I'd like to see someone who is familiar with LD kids. Can anyone recommend anyone specific? |
Anonymous
| Matthew Biel at Georgetown is wonderful. |
Anonymous
| What are you doing to remediate the dyslexia and the expressive language disorder in the home environment? I find that with my child who has expressive language problems that the root of many "discipline" issues is actually either a misunderstanding of the original set of directions that were violated and resulted in the loss of privilege, or a frustration about the inability to express oneself while discussing the "consequence". IME, the expressive language problems are pervasive within the family, not just at school. |
Anonymous
| I don't think this is a discipline issue. It sounds like she isn't in control of thee reactions. Thats why I suggested they explore depression or anxiety. |
Anonymous
| How does she act once the temper subsides? Does she realize that she over-reacted? |
Anonymous
Usually, yes, she realizes that she can't calm herself. It's not a discipline issue per say. But with the back talk, etc. there are definitely consequences in some cases. I'm definitely aware of the expressive speech issues, so I don't think it's miscommunication. Depression and anxiety are definitely possibilities brought on by the stress of school. I'm also thinking maybe ADHD. But it's getting to the point now that this behavior is becoming almost daily, especially and if she's told no about something, she starts acting aggressively/pouting sometimes ending in tears. |
Anonymous
This is helpful to know and it's not uncommon for a child to act out or become easily upset or withdraw or become mischievous when the demands of school exceed what they think they can handle or what they can actually handle. Can you afford tutoring with someone really nurturing? Something I wonder about if it turns out she has dyslexia and hyslexia I assume is a medical expense, I wonder if you could use flex for tutoring? Worth a call to flex if you have an account. Linda Mood Bell has great reading programs if you are willing to spend a lot. Another idea...does she like being around much younger kids? Is she very nurturing herself? If so, maybe you could work out at school or even a local daycare she could every now and then read a story to the younger ones. It may motivate her to put even more effort into reading and even just mastering one book really well will help her with reading skills in general. What is she really good at? If she is a great artist, maybe take an after school art class. If she is into math and problem solving see if the school has a math or chess club. Is she good at sports? Does she love to sing? We all have strengths and weaknesses and that's something we all learn to accept. It's a lot easier to swallow when you find ways to really enjoy your strengths and realize how lucky you are to have them. |
Anonymous
| I don't know if I have anything helpful to offer other than to let you know you're not the only one trying to figure out how to deal with this. My DS (ADHD/inattentive/impulsive, anxiety, LD) is in third grade and increasingly over the school year he's been having meltdowns. He's not aggressive but he totally loses his ability to regulate his emotions and he either shuts down completely or gets into a negative emotional feedback loop (he can't do anything right, he's the stupidest boy, he doesn't know anything, etc.). It started to escalate and become disruptive to the special ed classroom. We have an excellent special ed team and they performed a functional behavioral analysis (FBA) but were unable to determine a definitive trigger. It's often associated with work he doesn't want to do because he perceives it as difficult - but not always. The behavioral specialist suggested that perhaps that once his anxiety was triggered he acted out in this way as he's trying to regain control of the situation. I know I'm not explaining it well here but I do believe that it's a reasonable theory. DS is taking medication for ADHD (Intuniv) and anxiety (generic Prozac) that have helped him immensely, it's just these episodes that seem to flair. He knows all sorts of techniques to help calm himself (deep breaths, movement break, ask for help, get a snack, etc.) but when in crises he chooses NOT to use them. Immediately after the episode, when he is again calm, he's very remorseful but can't really articulate well what was going on. Part of the intervention plan we developed after the FBA includes a daily behavior chart and the option to talk to a counselor whenever he needs to. We're looking for a cognitive behavioral therapist (CBT) in the Springfield area that takes BCBS for more assistance - if anyone has any recommendations, we're open for it. Good luck, OP. |
Anonymous
|
18:40, thank you for sharing. If you figure something out definitely write back as to what helped. I'll do the same.
Can I ask what types of professionals made up the team for the FBA? SLP, OT, LD specialist? |
Anonymous
| Dr. Kelly O'Brien in silver spring |