SSSAS - what is the culture like currently?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s experience joining in middle school: if you are not from the same wealthy area of Alexandria and a Belle Haven member, your child will have a tough time becoming a member of the school community. It is not impossible, but the value system of many of the kids and their parents is pretty messed up.

This checks out. I think there’s an effort for more types of kids and backgrounds but at $55,000/year ultimately the culture is very privileged and country club.

Oddly, I don't know one family amongst my kid's friends who belong to a country club. I'm sure they're there but they're hardly pervasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s experience joining in middle school: if you are not from the same wealthy area of Alexandria and a Belle Haven member, your child will have a tough time becoming a member of the school community. It is not impossible, but the value system of many of the kids and their parents is pretty messed up.

I’m the parent of a MS girl at St Stephen’s. I’m genuinely so sorry you’ve had this experience. I don’t doubt that you’ve met parents who made you feel this way, but I encourage you to keep going to events and talking to people. It’s truly an extremely small minority who belong to Belle Haven (we do not) and even among the families who do at least half of them are very kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in Alexandria and it was tempting to apply to the school but we heard enough negative things about SSSAS from neighbors and friends that we didn't. PP who mentioned to cast a wide net is right! So many better schools have great transportation systems so don't limit yourself to the immediate area - take the time to find the right school even if it is further away. It's worth it.

Where did you end up sending your kids? Curious about other options outside of Alexandria with good bus systems.

[Anonymous]

Not PP but Potomac has a better reputation and a strong busing program

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in Alexandria and it was tempting to apply to the school but we heard enough negative things about SSSAS from neighbors and friends that we didn't. PP who mentioned to cast a wide net is right! So many better schools have great transportation systems so don't limit yourself to the immediate area - take the time to find the right school even if it is further away. It's worth it.

Where did you end up sending your kids? Curious about other options outside of Alexandria with good bus systems.

We went with Flint Hill - it is a bit of a commute but we are very happy with the school and think it was the right choice for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in Alexandria and it was tempting to apply to the school but we heard enough negative things about SSSAS from neighbors and friends that we didn't. PP who mentioned to cast a wide net is right! So many better schools have great transportation systems so don't limit yourself to the immediate area - take the time to find the right school even if it is further away. It's worth it.

Where did you end up sending your kids? Curious about other options outside of Alexandria with good bus systems.

We went with Flint Hill - it is a bit of a commute but we are very happy with the school and think it was the right choice for us.

Flint Hill and SSSAS have a lot of applicant overlap. DC loved both and it came down to commute to decide between them. I think either school would have been a good fit but DC is loving SSSAS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s experience joining in middle school: if you are not from the same wealthy area of Alexandria and a Belle Haven member, your child will have a tough time becoming a member of the school community. It is not impossible, but the value system of many of the kids and their parents is pretty messed up.

This checks out. I think there’s an effort for more types of kids and backgrounds but at $55,000/year ultimately the culture is very privileged and country club.

Oddly, I don't know one family amongst my kid's friends who belong to a country club. I'm sure they're there but they're hardly pervasive.

My child is in K, and we've met quite a few Belle Haven members. You have to listen for what they aren't saying, though, because Belle Haven seems to have this unwritten rule about actually referring to it in public. Most will simply call it the pool during the summer and discuss specific events they went to otherwise. It's an odd little quirk, but I have rarely heard members say anything about the club or mention it by name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s experience joining in middle school: if you are not from the same wealthy area of Alexandria and a Belle Haven member, your child will have a tough time becoming a member of the school community. It is not impossible, but the value system of many of the kids and their parents is pretty messed up.

This checks out. I think there’s an effort for more types of kids and backgrounds but at $55,000/year ultimately the culture is very privileged and country club.

Yes. SSSAS seeks more socio economic diversity as part of its mission - moreso than a lot of other schools. It has no more of a privileged culture than any other private school. There are many upper middle class families but very few upper class families as with some of the top tier schools in the DC area.

For 55k a year there are going to be people who belong to a country club. Some years it might be Belle Haven other years it’s Army Navy CC. If you go to Potomac School it will probably be Congressional or Washington Golf. If you go to DC or Maryland schools it will be Chevy Chase CC, Kenwood etc. It’s at every private. It’s not just SSSAS. There are nice people that belong to country clubs as well those who are not nice. And there are nice people who don’t belong to country clubs as well as not nice people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I really liked SSASS admissions for US. DC did not choose it, but it seemed like a really nice place to go to school.

I do wonder about it socially etc for non-athletes. They definitely have other programs and there’s definitely kids that don’t play sports, but the fields/facilities alone speak to the emphasis on the importance of sports at that school.

SSSAS outdoor athletic facilities - the fields - are quite nice. And there is a new baseball structure that is at the front of the school. But it does not mean athletics are dominant. There isn’t a major athletic building. Try going to Sidwell, Potomac, Landon, Prep or the Cathedral schools where the athletics centers are truly top tier. It doesn’t mean they prioritize athletics over academics or other extracurriculars. SSSAS requires sports or the equivalent like all these other schools. And as for dominance, aside from a few years of basketball there is only one sport that has truly dominated over the years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I really liked SSASS admissions for US. DC did not choose it, but it seemed like a really nice place to go to school.

I do wonder about it socially etc for non-athletes. They definitely have other programs and there’s definitely kids that don’t play sports, but the fields/facilities alone speak to the emphasis on the importance of sports at that school.

SSSAS outdoor athletic facilities - the fields - are quite nice. And there is a new baseball structure that is at the front of the school. But it does not mean athletics are dominant. There isn’t a major athletic building. Try going to Sidwell, Potomac, Landon, Prep or the Cathedral schools where the athletics centers are truly top tier. It doesn’t mean they prioritize athletics over academics or other extracurriculars. SSSAS requires sports or the equivalent like all these other schools. And as for dominance, aside from a few years of basketball there is only one sport that has truly dominated over the years.

As my DC (an SSSAS student) likes to say, SSSAS likes to think it's a sports school but they kind of suck at everything except girls lacrosse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in Alexandria and it was tempting to apply to the school but we heard enough negative things about SSSAS from neighbors and friends that we didn't. PP who mentioned to cast a wide net is right! So many better schools have great transportation systems so don't limit yourself to the immediate area - take the time to find the right school even if it is further away. It's worth it.

Where did you end up sending your kids? Curious about other options outside of Alexandria with good bus systems.

I'm not the above poster, but Field is wonderful and has a great bus system from Alexandria and Rosslyn. We use both locations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No dog in the fight here — my kids go to Big 3 schools.

However, it is totally disingenuous to say that a grade is “lovely,” then say just because there’s a few bad eggs doesn’t mean it ain’t.

Middle school dynamics are challenging everywhere. However, if even a few kids are being bullied, that reflects badly on the entire school.

If an administration can’t respond effectively to social aggression among a few kids, those kids will set the tone for the school. So sad that people are delegitimizing the experience of girls who were bullied, saying it’s just a few parents with “sour grapes.”

If my daughters had been bullied and the school did not respond effectively, I certainly would sour on the school.

The fact that supposedly mature adults would say this about the way little girls were treated and minimize their pain says some ugly things about the SSSAS parent community,

2025: That “sour “ experience is true for at least several girls in the MS. It started at the LS and just spreads to new and seasoned students. The bullies seem to take a page from online inspiration, the behavior of their parents’, some of the teachers, faculty-parents, and even some of the administrators themselves. They don’t all/always wear a billboard - it also can be a polite cold-shoulder or a disingenuous smile fueled by contempt. Maybe it’s the same at other area private schools, but that doesn’t excuse the behavior. It might be a tradition at SSSAS: some of those parents are alumni.

The administrators do take some action in cases of younger children behaving violently in front of their class, but starting in the LS even known physical aggression isn’t proportionately addressed much less is social-emotional bullying. Starting in the 5th grade for some class years but even younger in other class years, the bullying is often covert, and some teachers victim-blame and, when administrators don’t ignore it, either their measures are tepid despite degree of offense (severity, recurrence) or are directed at the bullies’ targets not the bullies. The group chats with the counselors seem to be fairly generic. The sum total is that the insidious toxicity isn’t a secret, formal programs are ineffective and policies are mostly just on-paper, even if some are oblivious to it, are spared, or use blinders, ineffective.

That doesn’t mean every student, parent, teacher, administrator, board member, etc. is toxic or neglectful, but that’s moot. Some do try to help in their own way with some things. But a select few hold the reins and set the tone and practice, but the tone and practice cultivate lack of empathy and respect and enables abuse. That might be mediocrity, but it’s certainly a level of toxic that’s avoidable.

My child is long gone but was provoked by another child in LS on the playground. The counselor came to us and said, well we are
going to talk and see what “your” DC is doing wrong. My kid - who was pretty quiet with not many friends and who in ten years at the school never ever got in trouble except this incident. Later that year the same kid provoked two more children who defended themselves. Of course this is just one personal example. Furthermore, the LS has an arrangement where every year kids can ask for at least one person they want to be in class with. Accumulating over the years this creates similar class rosters and cliques that continue to MS. There is a new counselor coming to the LS so hopefully things will change. Overall the LS is a warm and nurturing environment but consistency in discipline issues exist there and at the MS. I hear from a friend at another K-12 private that cliques are a similar problem that develop. Perhaps a 9-12 school is way to escape this.

The Upper School is managed well, albeit with what appears to be the occasional dismissive response by the disciplinary arm that “well yes kids are kids and it will pass.” If you go higher up, you will be heard and assisted. Perhaps the separate campuses lead to these inconsistencies.

Overall I believe the school has very good intentions and wants to live by its mission. The head of the school is very organized and has always has an open door.

[Anonymous]

Our take on it is that it’s a mixed bag. We’ve seen the issues among students and mothers, and with teachers/instructors and administrators, and plenty of kids have heard the kinds of comments described here. Our friend’s child is experiencing some challenges, so some of us are following to see whether the school helps them.
Unsure how some posters think they know which families or staff are referred to. That’s a red flag about those assuming.
We’ve met kind and unkind people at all levels. Some have left, some remain. We’ve also heard some of these things happen at other schools. Could be the area.
As for sports, there does seem to be an emphasis, but there are some alternatives.
As for MS, it’s a hard stage needing consistent guidance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My daughter’s experience joining in middle school: if you are not from the same wealthy area of Alexandria and a Belle Haven member, your child will have a tough time becoming a member of the school community. It is not impossible, but the value system of many of the kids and their parents is pretty messed up.

This checks out. I think there’s an effort for more types of kids and backgrounds but at $55,000/year ultimately the culture is very privileged and country club.

Oddly, I don't know one family amongst my kid's friends who belong to a country club. I'm sure they're there but they're hardly pervasive.

That would be odd. Been there with two DC's from K-12. I would imagine that half each class belongs to BHCC, Army Navy, Wash Golf or another club. For the poster that said UMC not really a lot of UC -- I guess it depends on what your definition is. UMC to me in this area is below 500k. I would expect some UMC but a lot more UC. I thought I did well until I did things with my DCs' friends parents.

Having said that it has been a great school. Kids enjoyed it, grew, and thrived. I do not think there is a mean girl culture at least not more than other privates. For us it was a great choice. For my DD friends have been from all over not just one neigborhood. I have not seen the value system messed up. As I said above there are a lot of rich kids that have no worry for money -- at all. This manifests itself in different ways but is not different than other privates.

[Anonymous]

I am a liberal, “woke” parent who pays very close attention to the moves of administration, to parent gossip, and social dynamics among the kids and I have zero complaints about SSSAS. It is more diverse than our ACPS elementary school. Every single teacher has been liberal minded and empathetic. The administrators are reasonable. There is a huge group of qualified male teacher role models in the middle school. Athletics are available to every student. There is opportunity to excel academically but no pressure to succeed at all costs. There are country club families but they are the minority. There are terrible Trump families but I have no idea how they listen to the “woke” agenda of the episcopal reverends. There are annoying donor events and donor pandering but it comes with every private school. My child has a tick and he has experienced almost zero bullying. Some kids are rough and they get phased out. Some kids can’t excel academically and they get phased out. Some families are more conservative and they go to same sex Catholic high schools. I’d say that it’s hard to socialize with kids who live in Maryland who happen to all be POC and that’s not great. Some 4th-8th grade girls are vicious but they grow out of it. Some 3rd-6th grade boys are rough and mean on the playground they move on or channel it into their sports. The new LS admin is a poc and you need to filter some of the complaints about her through that lens- entitled wealthy white families are met with resistance and a measured response from a professional black woman of color. Many do not receive that well. They want to be pandered to. I’ve been incredibly impressed. I went to a k-12 private school and this one is 1000x better.