Things that are unintentional status symbols.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Driving to a store that's less than a mile away.

Paying anything for kindergarten.

Taking medication that makes your eyelashes thicker or injecting toxins to make your forehead smooth.

Waxing parts of your body that no one but your waxer will ever actually look at.

I am so happy with this thread. My habits put me in very high HHI...oh la la!

My DH more than looks at those parts that are waxed...however I am a home waxer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wearing expensive yoga pants all day long during the week.

Being incredibly active in your kids preschool.

Both indicate to me that you gave the luxuries of money and time.

How about cheap, Old Navy yoga pants, all day every day. Does that count?

Pretty please make it count! How about yoga pants from costco?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having your child reject juice on a play date. "Larla doesn't drink juice."

I'm super excited. I finally found one that relates to me!

[Anonymous]

Since moving to DC, I've learned that having a short commute - i.e. Living in a SFH and walking to a metro in NW DC, NoVa or parts of MD is some sort of a status symbol because coworkers look at me like I have 2 heads when I explain where we live. These people make way more money that we do, but choose to have a 1hr commute in their $50k+ cars.

I think their flashy cars are intentional status symbols. Apparently choosing to pay a fortune to live in a tiny house is an intentional status symbol to them. We just thought it was a lifestyle choice and that having a tear down / new build was the intentional status symbol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Prius
smaller house/short commute
cloth diapers/breast feeding to over one year
beach vacation on Outer Banks
Children attending UVA/W&M or UMCP -In State
Attending certain Congregations
Summer pool memberships in NOVA with children on summer swim team and in year round swim programs
using the library for most of your children books under age 8
half day preschool
AAP
A child that goes to John's Hopkins for CTY

This is my family. And we have $4 million, unlike our neighbors in the $1.5 million house who vacation in Tuscany. Ha ha.

How do you know how much your neighbors have?

Because the wife told me?

Tacky, tacky. So gross to discuss.

[Anonymous]

unintentional (e.g., not just expensive clothes, car, accessories, house, country club, zipcode, etc.?)

- Having a nanny
- Owning horses
- Vacationing abroad regularly
- Titanium Amex / never using a visa/MC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've got a good one. My DC was asked to bring a shoe box to school for an art project. When I dropped of my Sketchers shoe box I say that there was a Jimmy Choo box and a Louboutin.

That's awesome. I would laugh while dropping off my Payless shoebox.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having your child reject juice on a play date. "Larla doesn't drink juice."

I'm super excited. I finally found one that relates to me!

Oops, found another one: international adoption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Traveling to do a particular kind of race
Traveling to a film/music festival (Coachella, Sundance)
Montessori preschool
Elite sports for 7 year olds

Totally traveling for a film/music festival - so true!

[Anonymous]

Unintentional status symbol - things people own or do that indicate

1. We are not new money. Family heirloom jewelry, expensive items that show wear from many years of use like vintage leather luggage, 10 yr old luxury cars, board seats and club memberships inherited, use of a family vacation home

2. We have enough money to buy what is convenient or popular even if a less expensive alternative of similar quality / utility is available. Name brand fleeces were mentioned. Never cutting coupons, never buying store brands. Not watching sales or eating in season. Basically never going out of your way to check prices and buying what you want. Buying "expensive" name brand clothes and shoes at full price for every day wear not just special occasions. Donating to any charity or cause someone asks for a donation to - like $50 for your neighbor's 5k. Eating lunch out every day.

3. Things that you do unintentionally that indicate that you have plenty of free time (because you have a flexible or part time job by choice, because you have help at home with cooking, cleaning, lawn care, child care). Not because you have time because you make less per hour than it costs you to pay someone else or because you are un/under employed. These choice things may include things like attachment parenting, long maternity leaves, cloth diapering, homemade foods from scratch, elaborate Pinterest projects, elaborate themed parties with crafty decor, a home decorated for each season, walking places you could drive to.

A lot of confusion here because a lot of things rich people do to demonstrate, intentionally or not, their wealth like homemade organic baby foods or wearing shabby but quality clothes are also things poor people do. It's about whether you have a choice. Being poor takes away a lot of choices and takes a lot of time because you can't pay for convenience.

Wearing lulu lemon pants because "they fit me best" and because $100 is nothing to you is a status symbol. Wearing Old Navy yoga pants can go either way. Maybe you're too rich to care what people think and you wear your ON pants to your $40/session Pilates trainer or with your Tory Burch flip flops. Maybe it means ON is all you can afford and you don't work because you can't afford childcare. That's the catch with intentional frugality / shabby chic among the closeted rich - you don't know who is who. Unintentional status symbol is ON yoga pants and an old car on a mom with a 2+ carat engagement ring who sheepishly replies when you admire it "oh thanks, it was my grandmother's".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unintentional status symbol - things people own or do that indicate

1. We are not new money. Family heirloom jewelry, expensive items that show wear from many years of use like vintage leather luggage, 10 yr old luxury cars, board seats and club memberships inherited, use of a family vacation home

2. We have enough money to buy what is convenient or popular even if a less expensive alternative of similar quality / utility is available. Name brand fleeces were mentioned. Never cutting coupons, never buying store brands. Not watching sales or eating in season. Basically never going out of your way to check prices and buying what you want. Buying "expensive" name brand clothes and shoes at full price for every day wear not just special occasions. Donating to any charity or cause someone asks for a donation to - like $50 for your neighbor's 5k. Eating lunch out every day.

3. Things that you do unintentionally that indicate that you have plenty of free time (because you have a flexible or part time job by choice, because you have help at home with cooking, cleaning, lawn care, child care). Not because you have time because you make less per hour than it costs you to pay someone else or because you are un/under employed. These choice things may include things like attachment parenting, long maternity leaves, cloth diapering, homemade foods from scratch, elaborate Pinterest projects, elaborate themed parties with crafty decor, a home decorated for each season, walking places you could drive to.

A lot of confusion here because a lot of things rich people do to demonstrate, intentionally or not, their wealth like homemade organic baby foods or wearing shabby but quality clothes are also things poor people do. It's about whether you have a choice. Being poor takes away a lot of choices and takes a lot of time because you can't pay for convenience.

Wearing lulu lemon pants because "they fit me best" and because $100 is nothing to you is a status symbol. Wearing Old Navy yoga pants can go either way. Maybe you're too rich to care what people think and you wear your ON pants to your $40/session Pilates trainer or with your Tory Burch flip flops. Maybe it means ON is all you can afford and you don't work because you can't afford childcare. That's the catch with intentional frugality / shabby chic among the closeted rich - you don't know who is who. Unintentional status symbol is ON yoga pants and an old car on a mom with a 2+ carat engagement ring who sheepishly replies when you admire it "oh thanks, it was my grandmother's".

This right here. Many of the things noted in this thread are things I do, but that's bc I'm broke. It's cheaper to make cloth diapers and baby food than it is to buy disposables and jarred food. I have a flexible job because I'm single and have to be able to pick my kid up from school or stay home with him when he's sick, I can't afford to pay someone to do that for me. I walk because I can't afford to own a car and I buy high quality clothes at thrift stores because they last longer. I've run into people who assume I do these things as a statement or philosophy when really, nope, I'm just trying to keep my shit together.

It amazes me sometimes how many things that our grandmothers and greatgrandmothers did are now back in vogue. Canning, sewing, upcycling, gardening, etc are all status symbols now, when they used to just be chores. It's all about being lucky and privileged enough to have a choice. Trust me, growing and canning tomatoes and thrifting/upcycling things aren't nearly as much fun when you have to do them or go without.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I notice a lot of moms whose kids are in private school drive Suburbans or Escalades. It is too much of a coincidence so maybe it is some sort of status symbol.

Suburbans are considered too un-green. And Escalades are only status symbols for drug dealers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unintentional status symbol - things people own or do that indicate

1. We are not new money. Family heirloom jewelry, expensive items that show wear from many years of use like vintage leather luggage, 10 yr old luxury cars, board seats and club memberships inherited, use of a family vacation home

2. We have enough money to buy what is convenient or popular even if a less expensive alternative of similar quality / utility is available. Name brand fleeces were mentioned. Never cutting coupons, never buying store brands. Not watching sales or eating in season. Basically never going out of your way to check prices and buying what you want. Buying "expensive" name brand clothes and shoes at full price for every day wear not just special occasions. Donating to any charity or cause someone asks for a donation to - like $50 for your neighbor's 5k. Eating lunch out every day.

3. Things that you do unintentionally that indicate that you have plenty of free time (because you have a flexible or part time job by choice, because you have help at home with cooking, cleaning, lawn care, child care). Not because you have time because you make less per hour than it costs you to pay someone else or because you are un/under employed. These choice things may include things like attachment parenting, long maternity leaves, cloth diapering, homemade foods from scratch, elaborate Pinterest projects, elaborate themed parties with crafty decor, a home decorated for each season, walking places you could drive to.

A lot of confusion here because a lot of things rich people do to demonstrate, intentionally or not, their wealth like homemade organic baby foods or wearing shabby but quality clothes are also things poor people do. It's about whether you have a choice. Being poor takes away a lot of choices and takes a lot of time because you can't pay for convenience.

Wearing lulu lemon pants because "they fit me best" and because $100 is nothing to you is a status symbol. Wearing Old Navy yoga pants can go either way. Maybe you're too rich to care what people think and you wear your ON pants to your $40/session Pilates trainer or with your Tory Burch flip flops. Maybe it means ON is all you can afford and you don't work because you can't afford childcare. That's the catch with intentional frugality / shabby chic among the closeted rich - you don't know who is who. Unintentional status symbol is ON yoga pants and an old car on a mom with a 2+ carat engagement ring who sheepishly replies when you admire it "oh thanks, it was my grandmother's".

*cough* thread cop

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
+1. Yup. This is a New England thing, though, I think. I'm from CT so I get this (though, sadly, I'm not one of the lucky ones). But yeah, we have friends with old family homes on the Vineyard and random little islands in Maine. They wear LL Bean fleeces all summer at said cottages (which are always extremely low-key, weathered, and rustic but at the same time perfectly tasteful and of obvious quality that has aged well). Old Volvos and Saabs and, back in the day, Jeep Wagoneers (remember those? LOVE). Very little jewelry or makeup, but they're always in shape so they can pull of the sporty look well. They ski, they sail, they know art, and they have interesting names for their grandparents. Point being, they don't have to broadcast their money with more high-end fleeces or white elephant summer homes. The low-key approach broadcasts their privilege and family background much more effectively to those who understand the code. I actually find it more refreshing than the flashiness around DC.

YES!!!!!!! Nailed it.

+1. I am from CT and this isn't my family but describes it to a tee. No flashy brands, cars, whatever. That would be considered totally gauche. Old LL bean anything, beat up Volvo or Saab. Weathered polos, etc.

Describing every other tool I would see in New England lining up for the ferry. Weathered polos, khaki ball cap from The Black Dog Tavern, carrying the "weekend duffle bag." Wives with sweaters tied around their necks just because and sporting perfectly broken-in boat shoes. UGH.

^ what you just described is the posers trying hard to *emulate* the authentic shabby New England elite! No true Brahmin would wear a Black Dog logo, and the LL Bean totes must be at least 40 years old, and worn/stained from having been used on a sailboat.

Black Dog?! That dog won't hunt anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Carpool lane numbers in the front of cars.

You know what some may think of as a status symbol but decidedly is not? Low numbered license plates in DC. Some may think that they confer status (or naively that cops are reluctant to ticket them). It usually just means that the person bought or wormed access to a local pol who is probably on his way to jail!