What is it with people given childless couples unsolicited fertility advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

I think you are intelligent and brave for thinking through things and not succumbing to social pressure. Having kids is not a decision to take lightly. Too many kids are raised by parents who should not have been parents, and they will suffer for it all their lives.

OP here. Thanks. I don't think I'm brave, quite the contrary. I grew up in poverty and spent much of my adult life living paycheck to paycheck due to unreliable scheduling (i had to work retail since I was around 18 because parents couldn't support us). I managed to get a few promotions, but the thought of having a child and going back to living paycheck to paycheck scares me a lot.

Why are grownup adults working in retail?

Because going to school is expensive and retail is available without schooling. What do you do for living?

Pp is a dick. If you’ve ever gone shopping you are well aware adults work retail.

Of course adults work retail, but why would someone still be there after 25?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

Yes, I do understand that you absolutely do not want a child in your financial position. The issue with telling people you want children but are waiting for xyz is that people, due to your age, will try to warn you that you might not be able to have kids when you get xyz.

You don’t want kids right now and it sounds like you are not interested in trying to make it work with what you have. That’s valid. But at some point saying you want them eventually sounds delusional. Why invite the conversation?

Op here. I don't tell people anything. I just tell them to drop the subject. I've said that in many posts. That's why I find the advice by these people nosy.

Unfortunately, telling people to drop the subject often makes them more curious and more likely to find a way to bring it up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

I think you are intelligent and brave for thinking through things and not succumbing to social pressure. Having kids is not a decision to take lightly. Too many kids are raised by parents who should not have been parents, and they will suffer for it all their lives.

OP here. Thanks. I don't think I'm brave, quite the contrary. I grew up in poverty and spent much of my adult life living paycheck to paycheck due to unreliable scheduling (i had to work retail since I was around 18 because parents couldn't support us). I managed to get a few promotions, but the thought of having a child and going back to living paycheck to paycheck scares me a lot.

Why are grownup adults working in retail?

Because going to school is expensive and retail is available without schooling. What do you do for living?

Pp is a dick. If you’ve ever gone shopping you are well aware adults work retail.

Of course adults work retail, but why would someone still be there after 25?

Good point, idk. They should consider getting into investment banking, they may not be aware it pays much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are clearly in denial, or willfully ignorant, about your ability to have children whenever it suits you. These people are just trying to help. The same way you would steer a blind person out of a busy intersection or help a kitten on the side of the road.

Looks like we found another idiot incapable of reading a f**king post. OP is aware that she's running out of time. She's aware that she might have problems conceiving rn. The people telling OP to have children do not know if she wants them. They just start giving her advice after learning about her age and OP says she's disengaging without further explanation.

You guys are the ones who have trouble accepting that not everyone who's postponing children does so out of ignorance. Many people do because certain contraints don't allow for children and a lifestyle that's not paycheck to paychek.

She's not postponing children, she's opting out of having children. Her confusion on this point is why she doesn't say the four simple words she needs to to shut things down. "I don't want kids."

The more accurate answer would be “I can’t have children”. It’s true and would actually shut the conversation down. Plenty of people want kids and can’t have them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

I think you are intelligent and brave for thinking through things and not succumbing to social pressure. Having kids is not a decision to take lightly. Too many kids are raised by parents who should not have been parents, and they will suffer for it all their lives.

OP here. Thanks. I don't think I'm brave, quite the contrary. I grew up in poverty and spent much of my adult life living paycheck to paycheck due to unreliable scheduling (i had to work retail since I was around 18 because parents couldn't support us). I managed to get a few promotions, but the thought of having a child and going back to living paycheck to paycheck scares me a lot.

Why are grownup adults working in retail?

Not everyone grew up in the conditions that meant they could get a post secondary education and / or skill set to do a trade .

That said, you can work your way up in retail and get VERY well paid. DH works corporate for big box retail and his job pays extremely well, and has great benefits, stock options, and many things my “professional” non retail job doesn’t offer. Many of his coworkers have only worked retail and are well compensated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I bet all the people saying that money is a bad excuse to not have children are the first ones pointing fingers at single moms on welfare.

The bottom line is that too many people are bored, judgmental a--holes.

Single moms on welfare shouldn't have had kids. Wealthy single women shouldn't become single moms by choice. Couples who are ambivalent about kids should have them now or they'll regret it. Couples who are having problems in their relationship shouldn't have kids.

In DCUM land, you shouldn't start dating too young, but you if you start dating too late you're weird, and you shouldn't marry the first person you date, but you shouldn't date too many people, and you should marry within an acceptable five year range, three to five years older for men, and you shouldn't have kids immediately, but you shouldn't wait too long to start trying, one child is unfair to the kid, more than three is crazy, if your acceptable two or three are all boys or all goods that's sad, if there's more than a three year age gap between any of them that's too much, but too close together is gross...
Anything I've missed?

Lol! Also don’t forget, it’s your fault no matter what, and you need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

I think you are intelligent and brave for thinking through things and not succumbing to social pressure. Having kids is not a decision to take lightly. Too many kids are raised by parents who should not have been parents, and they will suffer for it all their lives.

OP here. Thanks. I don't think I'm brave, quite the contrary. I grew up in poverty and spent much of my adult life living paycheck to paycheck due to unreliable scheduling (i had to work retail since I was around 18 because parents couldn't support us). I managed to get a few promotions, but the thought of having a child and going back to living paycheck to paycheck scares me a lot.

Why are grownup adults working in retail?

Because going to school is expensive and retail is available without schooling. What do you do for living?

Pp is a dick. If you’ve ever gone shopping you are well aware adults work retail.

Of course adults work retail, but why would someone still be there after 25?

Good point, idk. They should consider getting into investment banking, they may not be aware it pays much better.

Is this sarcasm? Investment banking requires a degree and possibly contacts within the bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

I think you are intelligent and brave for thinking through things and not succumbing to social pressure. Having kids is not a decision to take lightly. Too many kids are raised by parents who should not have been parents, and they will suffer for it all their lives.

OP here. Thanks. I don't think I'm brave, quite the contrary. I grew up in poverty and spent much of my adult life living paycheck to paycheck due to unreliable scheduling (i had to work retail since I was around 18 because parents couldn't support us). I managed to get a few promotions, but the thought of having a child and going back to living paycheck to paycheck scares me a lot.

Why are grownup adults working in retail?

Because going to school is expensive and retail is available without schooling. What do you do for living?

Pp is a dick. If you’ve ever gone shopping you are well aware adults work retail.

Of course adults work retail, but why would someone still be there after 25?

Because well paid jobs require training and experience that you're very unlikely to get in retail. If you have nobody to pay your bills while you're taking time off retail to go to school you'll be unlikely to cover your monthly expenses. If that's the case, working your way up might be your best best.

OP implied she makes a bit less than 60k i think. That means she's probably a manager of some sort. She makes as much as many university careers and probably has no student loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

I think you are intelligent and brave for thinking through things and not succumbing to social pressure. Having kids is not a decision to take lightly. Too many kids are raised by parents who should not have been parents, and they will suffer for it all their lives.

OP here. Thanks. I don't think I'm brave, quite the contrary. I grew up in poverty and spent much of my adult life living paycheck to paycheck due to unreliable scheduling (i had to work retail since I was around 18 because parents couldn't support us). I managed to get a few promotions, but the thought of having a child and going back to living paycheck to paycheck scares me a lot.

Why are grownup adults working in retail?

Because going to school is expensive and retail is available without schooling. What do you do for living?

Pp is a dick. If you’ve ever gone shopping you are well aware adults work retail.

Of course adults work retail, but why would someone still be there after 25?

Because well paid jobs require training and experience that you're very unlikely to get in retail. If you have nobody to pay your bills while you're taking time off retail to go to school you'll be unlikely to cover your monthly expenses. If that's the case, working your way up might be your best best.

OP implied she makes a bit less than 60k i think. That means she's probably a manager of some sort. She makes as much as many university careers and probably has no student loans.

That's why you go to school when you're living with your parents, not when you're 25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think people should give unsolicited advice about this. It will be interpreted as rude and people are going to do what they want to do, the advice is not helpful.

I also think OP needs to be honest with herself that she doesn’t want kids. Unless you have real plans to increase income and an actual intention in place you are going to be exactly where you are now in a few years, and you still will not feel financially able. if you are not taking the financial piece seriously then you are not taking the child piece seriously.

I think in telling people you want kids they assume you want kids even though there is a substantial financial sacrifice. This is why they focus on the fertility piece, since that will likely be an issue.

I'm honest with myself. I want children, but not if my situation doesn't get better as we want to maintain a certain standard of living. Not everything is black and white. We've been trying to increase our income and we suceeded to some point, but we've boyh hit a ceiling and would have to get a loan to go back to school. At least one of us, which would cut our income even more for the next a few years. I also want to travel thd world, but i'm not willing to do it under our current circimstances which is also the case with kids. I'm not sure how any of these gives people any right to lecture me about my fertiloty when they don't even know I want kids. The people I'm talking about are acquaintances not friends.

This is tough because you are older. You are talking like you are a decade younger and still kind of planning out what adult life will look like (maybe grad school, traveling, kids). In the here and now you don’t want kids. It might be clearer if you tell nosey people this straight out.

“Yes, eventually” invites the fertility conversation at your age. Skip it, for your sake.

I'm not planning travelling, just that i would love to if I had the money. Going to school is what we would need to do to increase our income. We're not planning to go there because we can't afford not working full time as our jobs aren't flexible. Is not that I don't want kids, is that realistically we can't have them without taking a financial plunge. Many of the things that seem an option to many are not an option to us.

I think you are intelligent and brave for thinking through things and not succumbing to social pressure. Having kids is not a decision to take lightly. Too many kids are raised by parents who should not have been parents, and they will suffer for it all their lives.

OP here. Thanks. I don't think I'm brave, quite the contrary. I grew up in poverty and spent much of my adult life living paycheck to paycheck due to unreliable scheduling (i had to work retail since I was around 18 because parents couldn't support us). I managed to get a few promotions, but the thought of having a child and going back to living paycheck to paycheck scares me a lot.

Why are grownup adults working in retail?

Because going to school is expensive and retail is available without schooling. What do you do for living?

Pp is a dick. If you’ve ever gone shopping you are well aware adults work retail.

Of course adults work retail, but why would someone still be there after 25?

Because well paid jobs require training and experience that you're very unlikely to get in retail. If you have nobody to pay your bills while you're taking time off retail to go to school you'll be unlikely to cover your monthly expenses. If that's the case, working your way up might be your best best.

OP implied she makes a bit less than 60k i think. That means she's probably a manager of some sort. She makes as much as many university careers and probably has no student loans.

That's why you go to school when you're living with your parents, not when you're 25.

If you grew up in poverty chances are you couldn't survive on your parents' income so you had to support yourself and probably them very early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should feel free to be honest with them. You just aren't that passionate about having kids and that's OK.

With every year you wait it's about 60K per kid for IVF. So obviously that doesn't make the financial part of the equation any better.

Much more than 60k for my IVF kid because I had to use donor egg, and I started at 36.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should feel free to be honest with them. You just aren't that passionate about having kids and that's OK.

With every year you wait it's about 60K per kid for IVF. So obviously that doesn't make the financial part of the equation any better.

Much more than 60k for my IVF kid because I had to use donor egg, and I started at 36.

Yeah, IVF is expensive and can come near to 100k if you're doing many cycles. That's it's surprising how many posters here are reminding OP about the cost of IVF. People at OP's income level don't consider IVF an option.

I have an income like OP and so do many of my friends. Those that tried to conceive and couldn't just accepted children aren't in the cards. We're all aware of IVF in the same way we're aware of beach mansions and 5 stars vacations in Italy. It's something we're not counting on because it's off limits.

[Anonymous]

The responses in this thread are amazing. If someone says "I want a luxury car, but will only buy it if I find a way to make more money" nobody will accuse you of being confused, but since OP is talking about children, everyone jumps calling the OP a liar. It seems when it comes to children, people can't fathom that not everyone has the means to have them, or that some people want them but prioritize their financial wellbeing.

The posters in this thread are an example of unsolicited fertility lectures. They're arrogant and think they know better than the OP about what the OP needs to do with her own body and money.