Is there ANYONE looking out for homemakers/ stay at home moms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any party, lobby or an individual politician advocating for people who work without titles and compensations? Its been a traditional role serving nation’s most important units known as families, nation’s most important asset known as minor citizens and nation’s most important buildings known as homes. They fill so many voids in the society but get no recognition, no compensation or no one protecting this endangered species. Isn’t it about time for them to stand up for their rights and for others to acknowledge and support it?

Or, what if you’re wrong? What if your version of what’s the “most important “ is simply, and perhaps selfishly just flat out wrong? Whose recognition do you feel is lacking? Who should provide “compensation “? At what point did SAHMs become an “endangered species “? What are you getting out of this?

Many politicians have fought for a multitude of family-friendly policies. Most of us pay taxes that support schools and health supports that overwhelmingly benefit families and children. Most people who opt to “ work without titles” for the benefit of their families do so because they garner recognition, compensation, and protection from these families that they have freely chosen to prioritize.
What rights do you feel SAHMs lack? Do you genuinely have any goals beyond stirring up discord?

There's decades of research showing the mothers are discriminated against. It's called the motherhood penalty in the labor market. Turns out, fathers get a benefit in this same market.

Maybe, but that has nothing to do with the OP. OP is actually saying that those that are not in the labor market at all are somehow owed.....something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any party, lobby or an individual politician advocating for people who work without titles and compensations? Its been a traditional role serving nation’s most important units known as families, nation’s most important asset known as minor citizens and nation’s most important buildings known as homes. They fill so many voids in the society but get no recognition, no compensation or no one protecting this endangered species. Isn’t it about time for them to stand up for their rights and for others to acknowledge and support it?

Or, what if you’re wrong? What if your version of what’s the “most important “ is simply, and perhaps selfishly just flat out wrong? Whose recognition do you feel is lacking? Who should provide “compensation “? At what point did SAHMs become an “endangered species “? What are you getting out of this?

Many politicians have fought for a multitude of family-friendly policies. Most of us pay taxes that support schools and health supports that overwhelmingly benefit families and children. Most people who opt to “ work without titles” for the benefit of their families do so because they garner recognition, compensation, and protection from these families that they have freely chosen to prioritize.
What rights do you feel SAHMs lack? Do you genuinely have any goals beyond stirring up discord?

There's decades of research showing the mothers are discriminated against. It's called the motherhood penalty in the labor market. Turns out, fathers get a benefit in this same market.

Maybe, but that has nothing to do with the OP. OP is actually saying that those that are not in the labor market at all are somehow owed.....something?

This. The only people who owe them something, if anything, is their spouses. They're not prohibited from getting jobs. They chose not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What kind of support? Like UBI? Universal healthcare? Tax breaks?

Just similar rights as others? For starters long due respect and acknowledgment of their historic contributions to this country.

This^.

Feminists and corporate careerist women are often the ones denigrating SAHM's and shaming other women for their choices.

Nice way to pit women against women but sorry many feminists and corporate women have been SAHM for a time in their lives. I know because I am a feminist with a corporate career that took 7 years off due to a lack of child care options. Our childcare was a disaster before Covid too.

I have come across some SAHM's who look down on working moms

Ok. There will always be women insecure about their choice. Likewise there will always be women who view others who make a different choice as an indictment of the choice they made. Whatcha going to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treating childcare and housework as free labor is what’s wrong but today’s society can’t see that. Its not any different than racists not seeing themselves as racists.

Then don’t work for free…? Go out in the workforce and get paid for your work. Make your partner step up his game at home and with the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there any party, lobby or an individual politician advocating for people who work without titles and compensations? Its been a traditional role serving nation’s most important units known as families, nation’s most important asset known as minor citizens and nation’s most important buildings known as homes. They fill so many voids in the society but get no recognition, no compensation or no one protecting this endangered species. Isn’t it about time for them to stand up for their rights and for others to acknowledge and support it?

You won’t get support for this. It’s assumed all SAH moms are rich and privileged.

My wife is a SAHM, despite being a Smith grad with a law degree. Wow, I feel great about myself now.

I'm a SAHM. I did it because my child was very sick, and now I'm unemployable (20 years out of the work force will do that to you).

DCUM is very nasty to SAHMs. Very.

I wish we had an organization. We work hard for no pay. My DH is great, but I know a few men who are controlling, ie "I make the money, so I decide...."

The only reason WOMEN (mostly) have to SAH is because the work structure is set up for the separation of home and workplace, e.g. we still have the Industrial Revolution model. We have not come very far in terms of equity for women and men in terms of childcare and work in more than 150 years. It's pretty appalling. Women who are successful succeed within the existing male-dominated and male-created structure. But women have not demanded that the structure change. I hope that's one good thing that comes out of the pandemic. When jobs are remote, men and women can share child care equally. The man doesn't have to run off to the workplace, nor does the woman, leaving the nanny or childcare to take care of the kids. And part-time careers are rare. Why can't men and women share jobs? The idea that if you work only part-time you are less productive is an artificial construct, as is the 40 hour work week. There's an easy way to measure productivity while everyone's on their computer, but this calculation has not been made. And now, there's this antique push to send all those Federal workers back to the office, as if commuting and sitting in front of your computer dressed in work clothes is better than sitting in front of your computer at home, going to Zoom meetings in pajama bottoms and dress shirts.

Some jobs literally cannot be completed from home, many of them, in fact. But for those that could successfully during the pandemic, many workplaces are considering hybrid models, which is great. A silver lining outcome of the pandemic could be greater flexibility with regard to schedules and telework for some workplaces. But that doesn't solve the problems SAHPs getting back into the work place. This would require a huge culture shift.

Say more about this culture shift. What would it entail? Lowering of standards in the workplace? Shift from "workaholic" culture?

Absolutely. We would have to shift from the worship of capitalism and all that comes with it. In capitalism, if you snooze, you lose. Capitalism is cold and unfeeling. If you aren't actively working and helping to make a profit, why would they want to pay you. If you are on maternity leave, why would they want to pay you and pay someone else to cover your work? It's a loss for them. Or they have to overburden other workers. All the benefits and "rights" we have as workers used to be unheard of. They evolved over centuries and require a government to enforce them. Companies on their own are about the bottom line. They reward those who work the hardest/longest or smartest and bring in the profits. They don't care if you are a good dad or mom. They care what you do for them. There is also rigid thinking about schedules (8-5, 9-5) for many work places that may not make sense in our current world, but they persist.

If you want work places to take a chance on a mom who's been out of the work force for 20 years, you'd need a shift in thinking. Why would a company hire an older worker, not up to date, when they can cheaply hire a new young one? (I'm not saying I support this thinking). If you want companies to buy in to more parental benefits, they have to be convinced that it benefits them somehow -or- they have to buy into it as a good of society type of thing -or you have to have the government provide funding. What if you are a small business and you can't afford to cover an employee's extended leave. Again, to make this work across the board, you'd probably have to administer many of these things through the government.

Good luck with any of that as long as today's GOP has any influence whatsoever.

While I agree in part, you are missing the general point that there are millions of small businesses that employ Americans. These small businesses are stretched on a good day and after Covid, struggling. They simply cannot provide gold level benefits for every mom who wants to work 12 hrs a week or give paid time off at rates that exceed the average.
The govt does not reward small business. The states do not reward small businesses. It just doesn’t happen.
Signed -
Small business owner and mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treating childcare and housework as free labor is what’s wrong but today’s society can’t see that. Its not any different than racists not seeing themselves as racists.

Then don’t work for free…? Go out in the workforce and get paid for your work. Make your partner step up his game at home and with the kids.

Except the motherhood penalty hinders them from doing that. See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treating childcare and housework as free labor is what’s wrong but today’s society can’t see that. Its not any different than racists not seeing themselves as racists.

Then don’t work for free…? Go out in the workforce and get paid for your work. Make your partner step up his game at home and with the kids.

Except the motherhood penalty hinders them from doing that. See how that works?

They’re only discriminated against if they LEAVE the workforce. Just like everybody else. See how that works? Personal choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treating childcare and housework as free labor is what’s wrong but today’s society can’t see that. Its not any different than racists not seeing themselves as racists.

Then don’t work for free…? Go out in the workforce and get paid for your work. Make your partner step up his game at home and with the kids.

Except the motherhood penalty hinders them from doing that. See how that works?

DP. 16 pages into this thread, I still don't get what you are trying to say.

- wohm who did not let the "motherhood penalty" hinder her from being in the work force.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treating childcare and housework as free labor is what’s wrong but today’s society can’t see that. Its not any different than racists not seeing themselves as racists.

Then don’t work for free…? Go out in the workforce and get paid for your work. Make your partner step up his game at home and with the kids.

Except the motherhood penalty hinders them from doing that. See how that works?

Just to be clear here, this OP was about women who are very clearly NOT trying to be in the workforce. It is about "respecting" and "honoring" a choice not to enter at all.

The motherhood penalty that applied to women who remain in the workforce after becoming mothers: https://www.forbes.com/sites/shelleyzalis/2019/02/22/the-motherhood-penalty-why-were-losing-our-best-talent-to-caregiving/?sh=4d3820c846e5

The motherhood penalty is the opposite of what OP is talking about.

Now if you are saying it is difficult for women to enter the workforce for the first time after raising children, or take a decade or more off from their career. That is a discussion. But it is a different one. And OF COURSE it is going to be more difficult to get high paying jobs. And it isn't all about age, but experience. I'm all for pathways to employment for any person at any time. But all types of personal choices impact how many doors are open, and a choice that decreases experience will decrease options.

[Anonymous]

Republicans are. They appreciate a traditional family structure and do not believe you are a failure for embracing a historically typical maternal role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treating childcare and housework as free labor is what’s wrong but today’s society can’t see that. Its not any different than racists not seeing themselves as racists.

Then don’t work for free…? Go out in the workforce and get paid for your work. Make your partner step up his game at home and with the kids.

Except the motherhood penalty hinders them from doing that. See how that works?

DP. 16 pages into this thread, I still don't get what you are trying to say.

- wohm who did not let the "motherhood penalty" hinder her from being in the work force.

Disagree. Others are saying "don't work for free" and "go out in the workforce and get paid." It's not that easy and, ideally, SAHMs really want the flexibility to enter and leave the labor market when they would like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Treating childcare and housework as free labor is what’s wrong but today’s society can’t see that. Its not any different than racists not seeing themselves as racists.

Then don’t work for free…? Go out in the workforce and get paid for your work. Make your partner step up his game at home and with the kids.

Except the motherhood penalty hinders them from doing that. See how that works?

They’re only discriminated against if they LEAVE the workforce. Just like everybody else. See how that works? Personal choice.

And why should anyone be discriminated against for leaving the workforce? The fact is that the current system makes it hard for families to have 2 working parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there any party, lobby or an individual politician advocating for people who work without titles and compensations? Its been a traditional role serving nation’s most important units known as families, nation’s most important asset known as minor citizens and nation’s most important buildings known as homes. They fill so many voids in the society but get no recognition, no compensation or no one protecting this endangered species. Isn’t it about time for them to stand up for their rights and for others to acknowledge and support it?

You write reasonably well. Go get a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Republicans are. They appreciate a traditional family structure and do not believe you are a failure for embracing a historically typical maternal role.

Right, but your only worth is what you do with your uterus. Women should only be barefoot and pregnant in “traditional” marriages.

And then their politicians have mistresses that they knock up and force to have abortions.

Such a lovely, family friendly bunch /s

[Anonymous]

I have basically had 3 different “careers” over my 20+ years working. And they were largely to accommodate family demands, but also were due to circumstances out of my control.

I thought I was headed toward lobbying and/or policy analysis for a cause/nonprofit. But after my maternity leave, my position was eliminated and I was put into another department.

I stayed on unhappy for about 2 years and then my friend asked me to come on pt with her at her small MR company. That was going great, until our biggest client decided to stop using vendors and we lost 90% of our work (I wasn’t in charge of client recruitment). Of course, bad timing, I was pregnant so job hunting wasn’t going to be easy. She was able to get me about 8-10 hours per week for a while, so I stayed home and did my work at night.

I then decided to pursue fundraising/development (a couple of my earlier jobs and then a lot of my volunteer work was fundraising related), so that is what I have been working on for about 5 years. I make nowhere near as much as others who have been working 20+ years, but I do enjoy working to help others.

So, I have sort of on and off ramped, not always by choice. And it has hurt my earning potential. I never dropped completely out, but I was a SAHM for my second for 2 years and earning a little money on the side. It was easier for me to get a job in development vs lobbying after 10 years in a completely different field, despite my degrees being in policy (yes, I have a masters degree that I basically never used)

Just one person’s story…