My kid asked me if I'm getting divorced

[Anonymous]

Minor spat with spouse this morning. 9 yo tonight asks if we're getting divorced.

[Anonymous]

Had one of those incidents, it was less than minor spat. Wake up call that I needed to take disagreements behind closed doors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Had one of those incidents, it was less than minor spat. Wake up call that I needed to take disagreements behind closed doors.

Alternatively you can explain and model to your child that married couples do occasionally disagree, and it can be resolved through discussion.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like this is a remarriage? Not the kid's dad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had one of those incidents, it was less than minor spat. Wake up call that I needed to take disagreements behind closed doors.

Alternatively you can explain and model to your child that married couples do occasionally disagree, and it can be resolved through discussion.

I agree with this.

Also, someone your kid knows at school might be going through this and maybe why it came to mind.

[Anonymous]

We don't mind fighting (fair and clean) in front of the kids. I think it's important for them to see that couples can disagree, argue, and be absolutely fine and just as in love through the whole thing and afterward. It's just part of any healthy relationship.

Kids who have grown up thinking that a marriage is all rainbows and butterflies are the ones who tend to jump ship when things get rough.

[Anonymous]

Dh and I like to discuss things (politics, etc.). We're not actually fighting, yet our kids always think we are. We've had to explain to them that we like to discuss issues and sometimes we don't agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Had one of those incidents, it was less than minor spat. Wake up call that I needed to take disagreements behind closed doors.

Alternatively you can explain and model to your child that married couples do occasionally disagree, and it can be resolved through discussion.

I agree with this.

Also, someone your kid knows at school might be going through this and maybe why it came to mind.

I also agree -- both about modeling healthy disagreement, and that it might reflect what's going on with a friend. That said, it may still be a wake-up call about your style of arguing.

[Anonymous]

There's some evidence that suggests that couples often fight in front of kids--things get heated, don't mean to, but an argument escalates.

But then they make up behind closed doors--in the bedroom after the kids have gone to sleep, tempers cooled, etc.

So kids see the spat, but not the mending/recovery. If it was a healthy fight (i.e. not cruel, contemptuous, violent)--talk your child through the events and the resolution, even if they didn't see that happen. And/or apologize/mend to your spouse in front of kiddo.