How do I get my 3 y.o. to stay at the dinner table?

[Anonymous]

It doesn't help that all of his toys are in the family room where we eat, or that he's mostly indifferent to food in general, but how do we get him to stay seated? He is up and down throughout the meal and it drives me bananas. We've been pretty lax about it because we didn't want to make dinner an unpleasant experience for him, but now it's unpleasant for the rest of us. Any advice? He's a willful kid who's dealing with the arrival of a new sibling.

[Anonymous]

Wait until he's 5.

[Anonymous]

Play games. Find a food he really likes and serve it along with dinner.

It does get worse...like the pp says.

[Anonymous]

Let him eat in front of the tv at 530. You eat later w/ dh. When he wants to stop eating he has to say " may I please be excused?". Three is early for family dinner. My kids don't eat much and I figured out that if I save tv for dinner time, they actually eat a whole plate of food. When they are a little older they can have family dinner, but my husband gets home at 7 and there is no way I'm waiting until then at thus point.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't recommend letting him eat while watching TV. Once he sits down, he has to stay seated. When he is finished eating, he has to ask to be excused but no more dinner after that. He will learn in time that dinner is when he eats and not after whenever he wants.

[Anonymous]

i'm in the same boat. I find DD listens if there is incentive at the end ie/ dessert. She gets if she listens. And if not I talk about it to death to make sure she knows what she has missed. This does't work all the time, but for the days it does it's worth it and makes me think she can sit down and finish. She is 3.5.

[Anonymous]

I would make a rule either he stays until everyone is done or if you like to chat and take awhile set a timer and make a ruler everyone stays until the timer goes off and then he can asked to be excused.

start the time for a short period and slowly set it for longer until he is used to sitting for a full meal.

[Anonymous]

Let him bring one toy to the table or put on a tv show that he enjoys and he can eat and watch tv.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried staples?

[Anonymous]

Thanks all. I do like the timer idea (and the staples). We've done family dinner since he could eat basically and he used to be great about sitting with us, just not lately. We sometimes have the hockey game on, but otherwise aren't big on tv in general.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and he brings his cars to the table too.

[Anonymous]

Keep dinner short for DS. He has to sit at the table w/ family for 20 minutes, then he can be excused to play. Do NOT let him watch TV while he eats-- you dontbwant to start "mindless eating" habits. Forcing a child that young to stay seated for longer than that is not realistically age appropriate. Think about preschool activities--age appropriate activities take place in 15-20 minute segments. When he does sit with you and DH, actively engage DS in conversation.

[Anonymous]

I also think TV for dinner isn't a great thing to start if you haven't already done it. My kids do snack in front of the TV sometimes, but I can tell it's "mindless" so we don't do it for meals.

I also don't expect my children (2/4) to wait until everyone is done eating, but they are expected to sit at the table for about 15-20 minutes too. If they're done, they ask to be excused from the table, and their plate goes into the kitchen. There's no snacking after dinner (we do bath/bed not too long after it) unless someone ate a HUGE meal and STILL wanted a snack (rare, during growth spurts I imagine) then we say yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep dinner short for DS. He has to sit at the table w/ family for 20 minutes, then he can be excused to play. Do NOT let him watch TV while he eats-- you dontbwant to start "mindless eating" habits. Forcing a child that young to stay seated for longer than that is not realistically age appropriate. Think about preschool activities--age appropriate activities take place in 15-20 minute segments. When he does sit with you and DH, actively engage DS in conversation.

Good advice. I'd put it at 10 minutes and no TV plus some dinner only special stuff. Active conversation with DC and when DC is done have DC ask "may I please be excused?"

[Anonymous]

I would take his plate away when he gets up..and tell him you assumed he was finished. If he wants to eat more he must stay at the table.. Asking to be excused might help too. I wouldn't have a set time for a 3 year old. When they are finished they can go. No TV No toys. Talking Singing yes. The focus is eating at the table.