Bullying- what to do about an unresponsive administration?

[Anonymous]

We are at a charter school where several children, my own included, have had issues with being bullied. In each instance parents have gone to the administration and have gotten everything from "we don't see any evidence of that" to "maybe your child is making it all up". In other words, the administration seems to be actively NOT looking into the concerns parents are bringing to them. I know the problem has been happening for the past few years, but the difference a few years ago was that is seemed to be isolated to a few kids in one class. The kids who were bullied left quickly (some in the middle of the year) and the problem didn't appear to be happening anymore. It seemed to creep into other classes occasionally for the following 2 years. This year I brought concerns to the admin but was rebuffed and told that my child brings it on herself because of her personality. Now I have learned through word of mouth and friends that several more kids have been bullied across all different grades with both physical and psychological bullying taking place. In each of the cases that I know personally they got a similar response when they talked to the principal.
Of course this is a get-the-hell-out-of-there situation, but I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about how to deal with negligent administration in a charter school. Other than leaving, which we will obviously be doing, what recourse do people have? I don't want anyone else to ever be told that their child brought bullying onto herself. It reminds me of the kind of thinking that punishes a rape victim by telling her she brought it on herself.

And before you ask: No, I am not going to reveal the school. Perhaps the families I know who are going through this are isolated cases and I don't want to create a mad panic.

[Anonymous]

There was an anti-bullying bill that want up to the DC Council that would cover all DC Public Schools, Charters included. Does anyone know if this bill passed? If it did, it might provide you some teeth to talk to the Board of Directors at the School.

[Anonymous]

Not in DC, but had a similar experience. The administration blamed my son for bringing the bullying on himself. Nothing changed until I got the police involved. Good luck. That was an awful time for us.

[Anonymous]

I've heard about similar situations in other charters. Some of these admins are making a lot of money and have their reputation on the line. They don't want anyone messing with it. There should be more oversight on charters.

[Anonymous]

OP here- How would their reputation be protected if the police or some outside entity became involved? That would be very damaging. I suppose if they are trying to convince parents that nothing is happening they might get away with it. I would have to say that if they are doing that intentionally wouldn't that be criminal? I don't know the law, but it would seem like they are obligated to make sure kids aren't being bullied. I guess this is a grey area.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry for your child--school should be a loving place. I know public and private schools where bullying is tolerated because of the fear of the reputation of the school being sullied. It can also take a while to get the bullies out of a school (if public) or in treatment/isolation/expelled (if private). Here are a few suggestions, with the caveat that if the administration is not responsive, they won't work, and you just have to leave, with or without publicity:

1. Circulate a petition among parents: "Sign here if you think bullying is a problem at this school."
Present the petition to teachers, the principal, the guidance counsellor, the registrar, the sports coach, everyone.
2. Attached to the petition is a suggestion list of what should be done. For example, suggest bringing in a counsellor/speaker to address bullying and kindness in general, and how to respond to it. This is done in many schools, in every grade, at the beginning of the school year, and sometimes repeated occasionally through the year.
3. Call the education reporter at the WSJ, the Post, the Times, the DC CIty Paper (a good outlet--they report on education very well, frequently better than the WashPo), the Washingtonian, etc. Ask for a reporter to be assigned to look into bullying at XYZ School. Sometimes a few phone calls from a newspaper or magazine will get the administration to act.

[Anonymous]

Latin?

[Anonymous]

Have you even talked to the other kid's parents or kids' parents?

[Anonymous]

This is also a training issue. Sounds like teachers aren't trained in recognizing and responding to bullying. And those higher up are neither. Besides ill will, there may actually be little awareness and capacity to deal with it. I'm no expert but recently heard our (DCPS) principal outline how much s/he learned at a workshop on anti-bullying practices. And s/he thought s/he was well trained on it. So, individually or collectively, make sure your school has the tools to recognize, respond, and most importantly prevent bullying. There are many nationally acclaimed anti-bullying programs and also classroom management programs that come with an anti-bullying piece.
I don't know how your school is run, but I can tell you from experience in a public school that having significant parental co-governance mechanisms really come in handy in such instances. So at another level, you may also want to think about making sure such concerns are taken seriously more generally at your school.

[Anonymous]

It is all about recognizing and sensitivity training. Too many times it is pooh-poohed as kids being kids. What ever you do, don't let it go until you have exhausted all avenues. Your fight, just might be the victory for all.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your encouraging words. I guess I'm just going to have to blow the lid off of this thing to get the dialogue started. I've talked to other parents who had similar experiences and some were much worse than ours. I suppose as long as we're all feeling marginalized we are weak.

It just occured to me! The principal is USING bullying tactics on the parents. Trying to belittle our concerns and weaken our voices by sewing doubt. Interesting...

[Anonymous]

I've got a child at charter, and the situations we've encountered have fit your description. Happy to join in and share our experience, so encourage you to reach out to other parents, maybe you'll find me. I've started to find some others.

[Anonymous]

Admins don't want parents to band together because they know they are stronger united than separate. Silence is what they want or for you to go away and leave. Let others know, please.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you and the PA at your school can work together to come up with some concrete suggestions to combat bullying at your child's school. I know that Latin uses Second Step. I am sure that there are plenty of good programs out there.

[Anonymous]

OP, I guess your DC will not be returning to that school next year.