the stimulative impact of the personhood amendment on the US economy

[Anonymous]

You knew you could count on Republicans to get the American people back to work. Personhood is going to tremendously stimulate the economy in the following ways:

1. The sex toy industry is going to hit records in sales. Who wants to risk an unwanted pregnancy when a rubber implement will do the job?

2. As a corollary, men who thought they weren't getting any action in the bedroom ain't seen nothin' yet. So a thriving and pricy brothel industry is going to spring up right outside VA's borders (leader: Al Capote). The cruise ship industry, reeling from recent events, may look favorably upon expanding into the sex cruise segment just outside of territorial waters.

3. Consequently, the astronomical rise in STDs (which will positively feedback into (1) above) will greatly increase the health care expenditures segment of the economy.

4. There will be a slight economic loss due to women dying from ectopic pregnancies or other life-threatening conditions during their productive lives. On the plus side, these dead women will not be contributing to entitlement spending in their old age.

Did I miss anything?