How much to tell teen about probable inherited disorder

[Anonymous]

DD is 17 and most likely has a condition that I was diagnosed with at age 40, but looking back I had been having symptoms pretty much as long as I can remember. It is not life threatening, but will require some lifestyle modification in terms of activity levels (mostly) and diet (to a lesser extent). She is also a major drama queen and frequently has physical complaints. So far, I have said nothing with a name on it, or anything specific to problems running in the family, but I will encourage her to do certain activities over others--sort of like "I wish I had done such and such as a kid/teen, because then I'd be healthier now".
Would you get very specific with a teen at this point, like you better do this now, or you won't be able to when you're my age, because this is what happens with this condition? Or just keep it simple and not label it?

[Anonymous]

She deserve to hear the truth.

[Anonymous]

She needs specific information with a specific name. At 17, she should be learning to manage this on her own, but she can't manage "this" if she doesn't know that "this" exists.

[Anonymous]

What is the disorder?

[Anonymous]

I would talk her doctor and tell her together her together.

[Anonymous]

OP,

If there are preventive measures to take to lessen the onset or symptoms, then yes, you must find a way to let your daughter know and to come up with a plan so she can be as proactive as possible. Perhaps you should neutralize the message and have her doctor lead the conversation.

[Anonymous]

"I am encouraging you to make good lifestyle choices, not only for your own health now, but also for the future. There's so much I wish I had known at your age that would have helped me as an adult. Maybe if I had taken up tennis or swimming or some other activity then, I would have a love of the sport now and want to be more active. XXX does have a tendency to run in my family and it's something I noticed as an adult. I hope by helping you develop good habits now, you won't have to deal with it later."

[Anonymous]

is it MS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I am encouraging you to make good lifestyle choices, not only for your own health now, but also for the future. There's so much I wish I had known at your age that would have helped me as an adult. Maybe if I had taken up tennis or swimming or some other activity then, I would have a love of the sport now and want to be more active. XXX does have a tendency to run in my family and it's something I noticed as an adult. I hope by helping you develop good habits now, you won't have to deal with it later."

Not OP- Yes, OP should share this with her DD but an example of what to say, like above, not just "Yes, you should tell her" is truly helpful- the How you say it part is always challenging. Good luck OP. And thanks whoever wrote it.

[Anonymous]

Can you test for it now? It might be good to test for it if possible, so it could be ruled out.

[Anonymous]

Have been to genetic counseling at Georgetown. I recall they said to wait until the kids are adult age - 18/21 can't remember which age - just google it because they wouldn't test until then anyway (this is for a cancer gene which will greatly impact their lives if they have it - 90% chance of cancer over their lifetimes often striking persons in 20-50s - quite a burden for a young person).

Good luck. My instinct is to wait until at least 18 if she is a drama queen. Another year or two isn't going to make/break the impact.

[Anonymous]

There's no test for it, dianosed by exam and history. The drama queen is acting up today about her stomach (not that I deny she is having symptoms--just her reaction is over the top), which has nothing to do with this disorder. She generally doesn't cope well with illness, so that's where my reluctance to go into detail. I really like what 12:32 said and will go that route when the tummy trouble settles down. Thanks all!

[Anonymous]

One other question ... does she know about your condition? Could the drama queen thing be anxiety related to health concerns about you or could she have extrapolated her own risk from what's going on with you?

[Anonymous]

I would be honest with her. this may be something that will allow her to step up and start taking care of herself. She needs to know before she leaves home/goes off to college and now seems the right time. My dd is a drama queen and I have some empathy for you, but honesty is the best policy in this case. She is almost an adult. I personally believe that our children need to know as much as possible about their medical history, which is yours, in part because we don't know what life will bring and should something happen to you tomorrow, she needs to know today.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the PP who said to have the doctor share the information with her. Sounds like it will have more of an impact.