On "vacation" -- I want to throw DH's blackberry in the trash
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Anonymous
| Is it totally unreasonable to think that DH and his office would respect the concept of a family vacation, meaning he shouldn't need to be on call on his blackberry throughout the day? Or am I out of touch with most (corporate) work environments? Not sure if DH's office is unreasonable or if DH just refuses to set boundaries. He seems to think as long as he's "not slowing down" the family on vacation excursions, it's okay to have his eyes on his blackberry. It's to the point that DD who is 7 is complaining about it (to no avail). So I guess my question is whether most of you or your DHs are expected to be available on your BBs all day on vacation. I work for the govt and it's totally expected for me to be unavailable when on leave (no govt-issued BB either). |
Anonymous
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It depends on the time of the year and his arrangement with his boss.
If it's slow and he can easily get on vacation nobody disturbs us. If it's busy and his boss is doing us a "favor" letting DH get a few days off he compromises by being available. |
Anonymous
| Does he have clients? My DH is a lawyer (and I used to be one too)---you are always expected to be available in case a client needs you. It's one reason I stopped practicing! I wish DH would take a break from his Blackberry, but he can't even if he wants to. Go somewhere with no service-- that's the only way to get a break from it. That was the best advice senior associate ever gave me. Rent a cabin in the woods, hike the Inca trail, etc. I feel your pain..... |
Anonymous
| Some professions are able to allow people to disconnect entirely; others aren't. I know it sucks, but it's a reality of some careers. |
Anonymous
Pick places where there is no cell/wifi reception for your vacation. Of course you may end up with a cranky DH in withdrawal. 
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Anonymous
| I'm a gov't lawyer, so I don't have private clients, but I do have a litigation practice. I only check my bb when DS is napping or occupied with DH. I do need to look at it a few times a day, but I just arrange for DH to give me 10 minutes coverage here and there. I don't need to answer an email 5 minutes after it comes in. |
Anonymous
| DH and I both work for the government. On vacation, we are both constantly on the BB. We have been trying to be better about it. On our last vacation, we checked only at intervals. It's unfortunate, but I think that's the expectation today. |
Anonymous
| I'm a family law attorney. I think in client-related fields, where your clients know you have a blackberry, smart phone, etc, that they expect answers to their questions immediately. I think that's just the nature of life now, unfortunately. I know that my own expectations about what constitutes a timely response has changed since the advent of email and mobile devices. I know have to consciously remind myself that I am entitled to a life. Meaning, i don't have to return a 8:30 a.m. Saturday email from a client by 9:00 a.m. But, I have to tell you, the boundaries between work and home life is incredibly blurred for me, and my colleagues at least. |
Anonymous
I think its a balance. Your DH can put an out of office that he is "traveling" and will have limited email responses while he is traveling and can just devote certain points of the day to emails - would that work? I am in a client related field as well, and if I just checked out all the time, I would have no clients. I know it sucks but its just the reality. |
Anonymous
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Communicate and set boundaries. If he has to schedule calls, then he schedules them all for between x and y on Tuesday (or every morning), so that everyone has the same expectations. If you are, say, standing in line at the roller coaster and he checks his BB, no biggie, but better to do it at transition times, like while you are waiting in line for something and not also talking at the same time.
I've checked my BB in the bathroom before so that my kids and DH didn't have to see it. He *can* set limits, and he can also manage things so that you and your DCs know what to expect. I do the same thing most of the time. It's really a matter of communicating and scheduling stuff for the least disruptive times. We both have clients who would love for us to be available 24/7, so if you wait for the quiet periods, they will never come. We are both senior lawyers in large private law firms. I learned how to manage the BB/vacation conflict (and my BB vs his BB vs vacation) the hard way. Please learn from me so you and your DH do not have to! |
Anonymous
| Unless it means World War III, having someone available 24/7 365 is simply unreasonable and outrageous. I know someone who grabbed her DH's BB and threw it overboard when they were on a sailing vacation.. |
Anonymous
Can I do this to my OWN BB but blame it on DH? Wheels turning for spring break. |
Anonymous
| I think when a person is accustomed to being on call 12 to 14 hours a day b/c of the bb, it is hard to let go. Decompression takes more than a day or two. When our family takes vacation DH and I have a difficult time turning off the work bbs. If the vacation is two weeks, we are usually ok the second week. If the vacation is three to five days, it feels impossible to stop working even though we are out of the office on vacation. So maybe cut your DH a break and schedule two or three times a day where he can spend 20 minutes responding to necessarily emails. |
Anonymous
| OP, just curious, do you still use your iphone to text/email friends while on vacation? |
Anonymous
| Are you sure it's work related? |