Nobody is going to my friend's baby shower
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Anonymous
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I don't even know why I am posting this but I just feel really bad. I am hosting a baby shower for my best friend. She's 42 and has been trying to have a baby for a very long time. So, this is kind of big event and she and her husband are financially struggling a bit and can actually use the shower.
The baby shower is out of town and I do not know many of her friends. Her family is not close to where she lives, so it's not like I can count on them to "fill the room." I sent out invitations, via Evite (I know, I know, but my friend is kind of flaky and does not know anyone's physical address and is too scattered to get them in time). So far, only one person has said yes and about 10 have said no. I invited a total of 27 people, including some family members that are probably not going to go. So, in the event (hopefully unlikely) that only 2 people out of the 27 can make it, I don't cancel it, right? I just put on a brave, happy face for her and act like nothing is amiss? What would you do-would you make a light hearted quip to her? Ignore the fact that only 2 people are coming? Change the venue to a restaurant or something more intimate (I would happily pay to make this a special event for her)? It's getting to the point where I dread looking at the Evite rsvp responses! |
Anonymous
Oh, what a tough situation. I don't know what I would do. I'll come!  But seriously....I don't know what I would do...maybe go the "light-hearted quip" route...
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Anonymous
| I don't understand what's wrong with people. They don't RSVP and they don't plan ahead. Probably they will show up, but planning a party is hell on rye. |
Anonymous
| Do you have some friends that also know her that you can count on to come? I had a similar situation and I invited some of my close friends who were also friendly with this other friend and we managed to fill the room and have a great time! Also - contact one of the 2 that are coming and find out if you missed inviting some other friends you may not be aware of due to the distance. |
Anonymous
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I agree with your restaurant idea. I would probably do anything possible to get people to come first, though. You said your friend is flaky, so is it possible that she forgot people for the guest list or gave you the wrong addresses? I would talk to her and ask her which close friends she would really like to come and follow up with them if they have not already replied to the Evite. Actually, you could follow up with a phone call to everyone.
If only a few people show up, I would change the party to be more appropriate for something small, whether that means you go to a restaurant or get pedicures or do whatever that would feel like a more intimate celebration with 4 women. This way it's less about gifts and forced conversation. |
Anonymous
| Oh that sucks. But 27 people is a lot. Maybe you will still end up with 8-10? Are a lot of the invitees out of town? Why is the shower out if town? I wouldn't expect many people to travel out of town for a shower. I gave maybe 2 friends I would do that for. Showers are a local thing. Some of my closest friends weren't invited to my shower and vice versa because we live in different cities. Regardless, you sound like a good friend. |
Anonymous
| I think if you end up with fewer than 6 people, including you and the bride-to-be, you should change the venue to a restaurant and do a fancy tea or something like that. I think it would feel really awkward trying to put on a charade of a normal baby shower with like 4 people. Opening the gifts would take 5 minutes. |
Anonymous
| When is the event? Also, can you tell if people have looked at the evite (it tells you when you go in your account)? I'm wondering if some of them didn't get the invite, maybe it went to their spam folder. |
Anonymous
If only two show up, you still go on with the party and maybe it is a good idea to go to a nice restaurant. Just concentrate on her and how wonderful this is for her and it will turn out fine. Best of luck to her and she is lucky to have such a good friend in you. |
Anonymous
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Thanks for the responses. I tried to activate the evite where you can see if people looked at the email, but I haven't figured it out. The shower is in 3 weeks and it is out of town because that is where my friend lives. Other than her family (who will not be there as they are across the country), I believe most of the invitees are local. I am the one traveling to them.
I figured I would give it another week before I start calling people, but I am getting a little stressed because there were 10 "no"s in a row! |
Anonymous
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People suck and don't RSVP. I would be terrified, however, of hosting a proper baby shower with so few RSVPs though. Here's what I would do for my best friend in your situation. Does it have to be out of town? Is that what is keeping the attendance down? If so, I'd try to make it a little less about opening a ton of presents with a ton of people and do an intimate afternoon tea at the Park Hyatt or the Willard. I'd buy her a couple of pricier presents I think she needs the most or quite a few smaller items she will need most. Make it a little less showery and more celebratory of the new baby between just a few people with a few nice presents.
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Anonymous
| 16:14 here. Just saw your reply. Does she live far away? It it possible for her to come here for you to do a BFF celebratory weekend? |
Anonymous
| Is there something else going on with that date? Don't make a "light-hearted quip," that makes it seem like something is lacking. |
Anonymous
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I think you can start emailing or calling people directly to follow up on the evite. I'd do that ASAP and just do so in a very polite way. If in the end there are really just a small handful of people, I agree with the PPs who vote for something like a formal tea or something in a restaurant. A tea is a grand idea--it has a start and finish and it's festive in and of itself.
You sound like a lovely friend! |
Anonymous
| setup a registry |