birthday party invitation cancellation etiquette

[Anonymous]

Just had someone who previously RSVP'd yes to dc's birthday party (child is turning 9) abrupbtly change "yes" to "no" on evite 48 hours before party, without offering any apology or explanation whatsoever.

The invitation list was small -- six kids engaging in an activity we're paying for, so the absence will be noticeable, especailly since one OTHER child also canceled (albeit with an apology, an understandable reason, and an invitation for a play-date to celebrate one-on-one the following week.)

Needless to say, dc feels a little rejected (it's that age after all). And I'm a little pissed. I don't care about eating the money, but it does seem rude. It would be one thing to do this to a cocktail party where 40 people are invited and you won't really be missed (although even then an excuse probably should be at least offered), but quite another for an intimate birthday party for a young child. Am I overreacting here? Not like I'm about to pick up the phone and invite someone else last-minute -- we've been on the receiving end of THOSE calls too and they're not fun.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you're overreacting. Things happen, some of which people like to keep private and not have broadcast around a 9 year old's birthday party.

[Anonymous]

I think that is rude, but it may be that they wanted to give you as much notice as possible and will follow up with an explanation when things have settled down.

[Anonymous]

If you wanted to be sure that no one was missed at the party, you should have planned for a larger group. Kids get sick, things happen, and another kid's birthday party isn't always the priority event of the weekend. You should always assume a kid or two might have to cancel last minute.

[Anonymous]

Op that sucks!!! I hate when things like that happen. That said, I agree with others..it's par for the course. This is why I tend to do several birthdya playdates instead of a party. I hate all the planning and I hate seeing my child let down if things don't go as planned. If a birthday playdate gets rescheduled it's no big deal.

[Anonymous]

my advice is to focus on making this party about your child, not someone else's RSVP. let it go.

[Anonymous]

Yes- a little rude. Maybe it was an iphone thing adn she hasn't had a chance to email yet.

Or--maybe it is something tragic...serious illness, death in the family and doesn't want to go into it.

Vent here--but I'd let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you wanted to be sure that no one was missed at the party, you should have planned for a larger group. Kids get sick, things happen, and another kid's birthday party isn't always the priority event of the weekend. You should always assume a kid or two might have to cancel last minute.

This!. You should have invited more people so that even when some drop out, you are still guaranteed your group of 6. Last minute cancelations are annoying sure, but life happens, what are you going to do?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you're overeating.

Until you know their side of the story you should be focusing your energy on the kids who're coming and most of all on the bday child.

[Anonymous]

You don't know the whole story but I'd feel like you do at this point. I hope that there is a legitmate reason for the last minute cancellation, but knowing how people can be, who knows.

[Anonymous]

That stinks. Do any of the invited kids have a sibling with whom your kid is also friendly? If you're on good terms with the parents, I'd be inclined to reach out and tell them you have a last-minute cancellation, and if X would like to come along with the originally invited sibling they'd be welcome.

[Anonymous]

Maybe that kid just violently barfed all over the house and the mom changed her RSVP to no while scrubbing barf off the walls, in which case she didn't have time to write an explanation.