Where has my career ambition gone?

[Anonymous]

When I read many of the posts in the off-topic section, I feel kind of sad. So many of you have so much career ambition and I used to have that in my 20's but it's completely gone now in my mid-30's and I don't even have kids yet (married but haven't TTC). I wish I could get this ambition back but it's gone because despite my best efforts, my career has never gone the way I have hoped. I have never been able to get the kinds of opportunities or jobs that I want. I do have a master's degree but I ended up in a career path very different than the one I always imagined for myself and tried to work toward. I'm just wondering how I can get my career groove (ambition) back. I am active in professional organizations, and am trying to improve my resume by learning new skills and seeking out new opportunities but it doesn't seem to help me land the type of opportunities that will advance my career. I don't see myself as a successful person (career-wise). Part of me regrets the fact that I am no longer successful or ambitious, and the other part of me just accepts it and looks for fulfillment in other areas than my career.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can relate to you in some ways. I'm also in your age range, and not yet with children. Do you suspect part of it is that you feel you will be TTC soon? So, that is sort of taking over possible thoughts for career ambition/change? For me, I think leading up to this time in my life, I'm getting progressively more anxious because I know the longer I wait the harder things may be to conceive naturally. So, just to say that those thoughts have maybe pushed aside career ambitions that may have been stronger earlier on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can relate to you in some ways. I'm also in your age range, and not yet with children. Do you suspect part of it is that you feel you will be TTC soon? So, that is sort of taking over possible thoughts for career ambition/change? For me, I think leading up to this time in my life, I'm getting progressively more anxious because I know the longer I wait the harder things may be to conceive naturally. So, just to say that those thoughts have maybe pushed aside career ambitions that may have been stronger earlier on.

No, I don't think TTC has anything to do with it because I have been ambivalent about TTC for years (and I've been married for 7 years already). I think the reason my ambition is gone is because I have had the door slammed in my face so many times career-wise. In other words, I've tried to advance my career/apply for new positions and opportunities and I never get them because of competition. It makes me very sad because I feel I have wasted my education (Ivy league college, top 10 grad school). I know that I'm one of the "failures" in my high school class (private school), where everyone else went on to be doctors, lawyers, PhD scientists, and here I am still basically stuck in a very entry-level career. It's not for lack of trying, that's for sure, I have tried so hard to advance my career but at some point you get so tired of the rejection that you just stop trying. That's what has happened with my ambition.

I'd like to get my ambition back, but don't know how to start. Do I see a career counselor? Therapist? Try to find a career mentor? I saw a career counselor for my latest round of job applications, but we never talked about ambition/career advancement, she just helped me with my resume, cover letter, and job search ideas.

[Anonymous]

OP, when was your last round of job searching? I too feel that my career is not quite where I would like it to be but its sort of ok with me since I have a baby and am trying for a second baby now. So, its more a matter of chosen mommy tracking but I am hoping to gear back up in a few years and am scared that I will begin to lose my ambition or just fall behind others in my field who chose not to scale their career back in the way that I have.

However, the reason I ask when you last job searched is because I think that a lot of people are feeling the way you are--discouraged and defeated. But I really think that the main reason is the economy and the fact that getting a job is, in fact, much more competitive and so many people are under-employed. I am guessing that we are about the same age (35) and I remember when I graduated college that the job market was incredible. Consulting firms were throwing money at people to come work for them, dot coms were everywhere--it was a different ball game and so many people jumped started their careers very quickly. Its so much different now and I get discouraged by the fact that it seemed easier to get my dream job 13 years ago than it is now with years of experience.

I would wait a year or two to job search again. Let the economy contimue to re-build, baby boomers will start to retire and opportunities will open up at a faster pace. Stay involved in your industry associations, make as many connections as you can, learn new skills and make yourself as marketable as possible in the fields where you want to work. I really hope it works out for you and don't let the current economic situation get you down--it won't last forever.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's unusual for ambition to ebb and flow over time - yes, some people remain ambitious all their lives, but they might just be more Type-A than you. There are advantages and disadvantages to that. Try not to beat yourself up and get yourself down, because that can work against you too. (Confidence is something people tend to seek in managers/leaders.) The economy is not great right now and I don't know that many people who have made true career progress in the last few years, so try not to take this too hard. (and frankly maybe some people are luckier than you are, too. Being in the right place at the right time is sometimes related to the choices you've made, but sometimes it's just luck.)

I'm 39 and my career has definitely stagnated since I got pregnant with my daughter, now 3, but that's partly due to the economy and partly because with a young child, my priorities are different than they were at 30 and child-free. I'd like to regain my former ambition - to a point - but at the same time, I'm probably a little more self-accepting than you are right now.

[Anonymous]

I'm 35, and I'm pretty much over most of my career ambition. I'm actually quite happy where things are, and my priorities have changed. I worked really hard through grad school, got a decent job, and make a decent salary. I'd rather spend time with my kids (they grow up fast!).

I see others who are still driven, and sometimes I wonder if they're actually happy. Do they know what they're searching for?

I also think that you can't find all your happiness in your career. Maybe find another passion? A hobby, volunteer work?