How would you react if you felt like a parent left out your child?
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Anonymous
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DC (10 yrs old) and I, along with other parents and kids, were invited to a party out of town by parent of DC's very close friend. I consider the parent a friend of mine as well. DC loves his friends, and is really looking forward to it.
Drive to the party will take about 3 hours. I found out after the fact that the parent of DC's friend has already agreed to drive all kids except DC and one other child to this party, and I had no idea that this was being arranged and when. I feel hurt by this arrangement. Why did they not ask my DC whether he wanted to be driven with the rest of his friends as well when all of this was being arranged? I thought we were all close friends. My feelings are very hurt, and I am concerned that DC's feelings are going to be hurt as well.. How would you react to this? |
Anonymous
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Is there room in the car/van/vehicle for your DC and the other child? If not, that probably factors into the decision. And most likely the parent asked her child which kids he wanted in the car. I would have.
I wouldn't ask--there is no answer that isn't likely to either be untrue (so as to try to spare your feelings) or hurt your feelings anyway. |
Anonymous
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Are there perhaps a finite number of seats in the car? Maybe several other parents responded not with "yes, of course" but with "DC would love to come but we can't get him there"? Maybe the host family knew of conflicts a few of the others had, and their car was filled up?
It seems silly to be "very hurt" when you don't know the full story. |
Anonymous
| It's disappointing because it would be a fun road trip. But the party is the big picture here. And your son was invited. I'd focus on that -- he'll have a wonderful time when you guys get there. |
Anonymous
| I thought you were going to say that your kid was not invited to the party. You're upset because the family isn't chauffering you and your kid there and back? Just because they aren't driving you does not mean that you aren't friends. There are a zillion neutral reasons for this. |
Anonymous
| My first reaction was that the hostess was driving the kids whose parents are not going to the event. Knowing that you were planning on going to chaperone your son, she assumed you could drive him there. A more neutral way of trying to help your son is to call the hostess and say that you have room for one or two (or however many) kids in your car and that you wondered if any of the kids could ride in your car to keep him company on the trip. You could offer to meet at the hostess' home and pick up some kids to ride with you. That way you don't end up with a situation like PP 15:42 describes. |
Anonymous
| I wouldnt feel left out. The other kids would get priority because maybe they otherwise not be able to go (parent has lil ones, work, etc) If you are closer to parent wouldn't be better for you since you two are closer than some of the other children's parents. All you have to do is ask. I wanted all my dd's 5 friends to come so I made it easy by offering to pick them up and drop them off. I'm sure parents wouldnt say no. |
Anonymous
This is what I would have thought and it's what I would also suggest you do. |
Anonymous
| OP, I often feel like this about things that happen with my DD and her friends, and it's really hard to handle. I think the PP had a great suggestion and if you really feel like you can't let it go, I would follow this advice. |
Anonymous
| 16:59 - good advice! |