request for $$ for birthday gift for boss... argh

[Anonymous]

so, our department admin lady (young) has been emailing us constantly for the past few weeks about the boss's bday coming up - she'd like people to donate $ towards a gift, she's booking rooms for the party and wants a headcount, etc... i have ignored all messages. i work PT and am not really involved in the social life of the dept (i'm married with kids; most everyone else is single and younger)... so then, today i got a personal email saying admin hadn't gotten as much $ as she expected towards the bday present and could i help out b/c i'm so senior... i gave $10 b/c i didn't want to look like a bad sport, but seriously folks, i doubt the boss wants a birthday party. or a present. he's a grown up.

[Anonymous]

Tacky. Someone needs to explain to the admin person this is not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tacky. Someone needs to explain to the admin person this is not appropriate.

Agree- can someone who is his peer clue him in- I don't think any bosses would want this.

[Anonymous]

You should talk to her or talk to someone who can clue her in. As the "boss", I put an end to office birthday presents (of course, people are welcome to get gifts on their own) by getting a card and cake for each staff person's birthday. Other gifts are expressly prohibited. This way, there is a celebration, which my younger staff seems to want, but there is a limit to gift giving and no required contributions.

[Anonymous]

Actually, you need to talk to someone in HR and have that person talk with the admin and explain that extortion is both illegal and against company policy. Guilting someone into contributing to a party and gift they don't support is white collar extortion. Many companies don't mind when this is completely voluntary, but have rules against targeted philanthropy. In any event, OP should explain that the admin made her feel very uncomfortable not contributing and that this was inappropriate for the office. I'm sure that many others in the office will be grateful that someone does something before this admin tries to do this again for some other random event.

Note that I'm not against interoffice socializing as long as it is completely voluntary. What the admin did was wrong. When she didn't get the turn-out that she expected then she should have downsized her plans to fit the money that was collected.

[Anonymous]

Yup, let her know, nicely, that this isn't high school. She is an adult and is getting paid to make a living and earn her keep. She needs to cut out the cutesy sucking up and BS. She better make the most of her years.

[Anonymous]

This is rude. I agree that you need to address this with the woman directly or with HR.

[Anonymous]

Actually, you need to talk to someone in HR and have that person talk with the admin and explain that extortion is both illegal and against company policy. Guilting someone into contributing to a party and gift they don't support is white collar extortion. Many companies don't mind when this is completely voluntary, but have rules against targeted philanthropy.

Love this!

I also really dislike the collection of money for birthdays, the routing around of the group birthday card for signatures. This stuff usually starts out sincere, but after the 3rd or 4th birthday of the month it gets annoying and some people also start vying to out do each other on the preparations. Please let me get back to work, and if I like you, I will take you to lunch on your birthday or send you a separate card anyway.