ever want to post but afraid of the snark?

[Anonymous]

Really wanted to post a job related question on here but I am super stressed out about it. I'm so worried the snaky and mean posters will reply if I post and make me more stressed! !! Has anyone needed legit advice but been to afraid pf the snark here?

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. Posters get attacked, then when they try to explain themselves or defend themselves, people call them crazy!

The best thing is to ignore them, keep in mind that they are seriously disturbed, and just pay attention to the productive advice. There are a lot of great posters on DCUM as well.

Plus, it's entertaining to see how some of the DCUM posters can turn a simple, friendly post into a brawl. If it happens, grab some popcorn and just laugh.

So what's your question?

[Anonymous]

I enjoy the snark. Love to see the crazies I bring on

[Anonymous]

19:06 here- I agree, it can be quite hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the forum. On the OT forum, it's not that I've been afraid of the snarky responses I'd get, it's that I get frustrated with not getting legitimate replies. I'm amazed at the need some people have to dissect and speculate on posts. A few years ago, I posted about my losing my engagement ring and a few people posted they doubted it was an accident - that I was just trying to get the insurance money. I hadn't even mentioned insurance because I had none at the time. It's the absolute worst of DCUM and really turns me away from it. A post asking a question is one thing, a post wanting a discussion is another.

[Anonymous]

It's an anonymous forum-no one knows who you are. Go through the replies like you would at a thrift store. Cast some aside, use what is useful and don't take it to much to heart. Also apply to FB. It's the internet-don't let it use you, use it.

[Anonymous]

I'm a stepmom without kids of my own (yet). I don't have any friends who have kids my DSS age. He is 9, all my friends have babies or toddlers. I am also the only stepmom I know (I am 31, DH is 34) I want to post ALLL the time but I never do. Instead I just google my questions and feel alone.

[Anonymous]

Hey PP, 19:06 here... are you the OP as well? Being a stepmom gives you just as much of a right to be here as anyone else. Some people may tell you otherwise (I'd hope not), but they aren't worth paying attention to. Ask any questions you might have.

[Anonymous]

20:30 here. Not the OP but thanks so much. I did ask a question once that went off the rails once I identified myself as a step, but you are right, I should get over it. Thanks for the confidence booster.

[Anonymous]

19:06 again- People actually attacked you for being a stepmom?!

[Anonymous]

Op here. 19:06, the step mom post is exactly what im talking about. I've posted before and have dealt with snarl, but some people are mean just to be mean. Obviously the fact that she is a step mom changes nothing, but people were mean. And tried to bring her down. This situation is incredibly stressful, causing me to lose sleep etc and I don't know if I could handle people being mean for the sake of trying to upset me

[Anonymous]

19:06- The first time I made a friendly post, giving someone helpful advice, I got sarcasm and rude comments for it. Then when I defended myself, I was referred to as crazy and everyone said I should never be around children. I think what the posters were doing could actually be classified as harassment and defamation of character, as they were threatening to TRACK ME DOWN and destroy my career! No joke. The thing that made me crazy: I used a bad word.

Completely serious. It gets insane on here.

[Anonymous]

20:30. Once I identified myself as a stepmom, not biomom, the thread migrated to a "myob" discussion. I was accused of not caring for DSS because I was planning to have my own kids, breaking up a marriage, providing too much personal info that DSS could be identified, etc. Not all posters, of course, but enough that have made me skittish about posting again.

[Anonymous]

IF the OP asks for something specific, including compassion or that posts just answer the question asked, Jeff will help filter out the snark. Really, just use the report button, as he's suggested. But give DCUM a try and ask your question. There's actually some good advice to be had.

[Anonymous]

OP, post your concern here.

I'll repost it for you under a new topic heading. it'll be your exact concern, but I will post it as me, so maybe you won't feel like it is your thread?

Then, you can pretend that someone else had the exact same job problem as you, and you can get any helpful responses, without feeling attacked if anyone sttacks me.

You can even come to my defense if that happen.s "Hey the same thing happened to me, I don't think she's making it up...."

Would that help psychologically at all to distance yourself a bit from the post but still get the good advice?