Going home hungry after birthday parties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always think it's weird when people don't serve food at parties, they plan them at odd hours like 2-4 so they don't have to feed anyone, but Someone is bound to be hungry. I always serve food too.

If the party is from 2 to 4, it's normal to only have cake. I get annoyed when they are feeding my kid a meal and it isn't anywhere near lunch or dinner.

[Anonymous]

Just went to a party on a Sunday from 1-4. I was expecting just snacks and cake because it was right after lunch (not that I eat at these things anyway. Really I don't). To my surprise, they had full buffet of chicken fingers, french fries, salads, etc. all catered. Also full bar I think (didn't check that out). In any case, it was a lovely party with lovely hospitality and everyone had a good time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always think it's weird when people don't serve food at parties, they plan them at odd hours like 2-4 so they don't have to feed anyone, but Someone is bound to be hungry. I always serve food too.

If the party is from 2 to 4, it's normal to only have cake. I get annoyed when they are feeding my kid a meal and it isn't anywhere near lunch or dinner.

I purposefully plan both bday parties for times such as 2-4 so I can serve cake and drinks. It works well. (Sidenote: as a kid, I remember all our bday parties being 2-4 also; and we got cake and drinks.) I do the same thing for playdates, so I serve the kids a snack (asking the parents first about allergies, preferences, etc.) and then that's it.

[Anonymous]

Get over it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are Indians. We will always have food for everyone at any party. We will have enough food to even pack leftovers for you.

I cannot fathom the poverty of hospitality I encounter here. There is no excuse to be a poor host. It is much better to not have a party for your child. The world does not owe your kid presents. You do. So, don't have a party, but buy your kid presents from the money you would have sprung for the cake.

I am German and also raised in rural US and agree with you. This is the first city I've lived where hospitality does not automatically = food.

I find it helpful when something is mentioned on the invitation, like "please join us for pizza and cupcakes" or "we will be serving light snacks." We were even once invited to a goldfish cracker buffet. But I liked that they said it right on the invitation so then we knew what to plan for. "Birthday party" is too generic a term for a gathering with so many possibilities, so why not tell your guests what kind of party it will be?

I married into an Indian family and Indian-hosted birthday parties are my fav! I know there will be plenty of adults for us to socialize with, the kids can do their thing on the floor, and there's tons of delicious food! It's usually a family thing and very relaxed. I love it.

The poverty/financial troubles argument is really odd to me. You can serve up a gigantic platter of rice & beans/lentils and say you're going vegetarian to accommodate the guests. No one will complain if you make it well (people love my Rajma and it's vegan & gluten free) and it's dirt cheap. Alternatively, if you don't want to cook, you can just buy a mega block of basic cheddar cheese, a big box of wheat thins, and slice up some apples or whatever fruit is on sale. You really can feed your party guests with a budget of < $20. If you don't have that much, then maybe you shouldn't throw a party? I don't mean to sound harsh but baking a cake from scratch costs at least $5-8 bucks and you can skip out on the organized entertainment, decorations, etc and really keep costs down but hosting a crowd isn't free no matter how much of a shoe-string approach you take. If you can't feed your guests basic snacks, then you probably have more pressing matters that require your funds and attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are Indians. We will always have food for everyone at any party. We will have enough food to even pack leftovers for you.

I cannot fathom the poverty of hospitality I encounter here. There is no excuse to be a poor host. It is much better to not have a party for your child. The world does not owe your kid presents. You do. So, don't have a party, but buy your kid presents from the money you would have sprung for the cake.

This. +1000.

We are Indians too, and our parties always have lots of food, and our invites always say : 'Gifts not necessary or No gifts please!'

Which is something some ppl will take issue with here, no doubt, but it's what we really mean.
We want our kid to hang with her friends, and we want to share some food with her friends and their parents. We could care less if you bring us anything.
If you are going to celebrate your birthday with friends, be a good host. Otherwise, have a small celebration with your family and do something special with your kid.

[Anonymous]

I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

What time was the party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

The only time it's ever bothered me when the refreshments provided were all sweets was when the party was from 10-12. Spoiled for lunch, spoiled for after lunch nap.

[Anonymous]

My DD went to a b-day party a couple weeks ago from 11-1. Nothing but cake was served. We had a pretty hungry and cranky 3 year old on our hands by the time we got home as I never thought to feed her lunch prior to 11 am.

She's invited to another over the same period in a couple weeks and it specifically says "join us for x and cake" on the invite, so at least I know to expect is this time and will try to get her to eat something before we go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

What time was the party?

It ran into dinner time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

What time was the party?

It ran into dinner time.

Then that is pretty bad.

[Anonymous]

I don't expect a full meal at a party that's not at a mealtime; if the party is in the afternoon, I expect cake and hopefully some light snacks (cheese and crackers, hummus and veggies, fresh fruit, things like that). If the party overlaps lunchtime (which I define as 11-1), I do expect lunch to be served. If it's in the later afternoon, it's a closer call. I don't expect dinner, but perhaps some more substantial snacks (meat + cheese roll-ups, small sandwiches, heavy hors d'oeuvres-type foods).

I don't think it's rude not to feed someone a full meal at 3:00 in the afternoon, but it's appropriate to have some light refreshment for guests.

[Anonymous]

we're having a party soon and it's at a weird time (3-5) because that's the time the venue has parties. We will have pizza, fruit and cake/cupcakes. i worry about the fact that it's close to dinner time, but i don't want to just have cake and juice for a bunch of 2-3 year olds. if parents don't want their kids to eat the pizza, they don't have to have any and I won't be offended, but I wouldn't feel right having just cake, and then sending people home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I recently went to a party where the only thing served was dessert - cake and cookies. No fruit, no protein, not even a little cheese platter - I had snacks in my purse but I knew the host would be offended if she saw me take those out. I'm pregnant so I can't really go hours on end without a well balanced snack, so I ate what the host provided but felt pretty ill coming out of the party.

I think if you're going to keep people for more than two hours you should offer something other than sugar - I can't be the only one who gets a stomach ache when I eat like that.

What time was the party?

It ran into dinner time.

You don't have to eat sugary things if they disagree with you. You also can survive not eating for 2 hours. If it ran to dinner (say 3-5) have a snack at 3. Leave at 4:30. Just having you take some responsibility for yourself, btw. I am absolutely in the camp that people throwing parties should go all out with fruit, cheese, etc. or not have the party--hospitality overboard. But you sound helpless.