is it possible to have infertility PTSD after having a baby?

[Anonymous]

hi, all.

I was tortured by secondary infertility for a little over a year. we decided not to do medical intervention. I had two early miscarriages before conceiving DS #2, who is now 6 months old. even though I have this healthy baby boy, sometimes -- for a split second -- I forget.

the most frustrating example is when I start my period. I'll see the blood and think instantly, sadly, "another month of not being pregnant!" then I remember that I conceived and had a baby. or I'll feel a twinge and think I might be having a miscarriage. (WTF?) or I'll be at the drug store and happen to see the aisle with the pregnancy tests and wonder whether they're on sale. this is so weird and frustrating.

anyone else go through this? I need to shake it.

[Anonymous]

Haven't gotten through it, but it sounds like the kind of trick that our brains play on us. I did a lot of remote wilderness backpacking when I was younger, and one of the big concerns was making sure that absolutely no food wound up in our tent at night, because that would attract bears. This included any food that might have spilled on our clothes--if there was food anywhere on a garment, it went up in the bear bag.

And now when I watch my 8 month old eating and smearing food all over his shirt, I get a bit concerned and think: I need to make sure that I take off that shirt before he goes to sleep, to protect him from the bears.

[Anonymous]

I'm going through something similar.

[Anonymous]

me 2

[Anonymous]

You need to see your OB and/or a counselor. It sounds like possibly PPD.

That being said, it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive and you conceived 3 times in that amount of time. Miscarriages are not uncommon either. So you are not alone, but the feelings you are having need to be addressed by a medical professional.

[Anonymous]

I don't know that I'd call it PTSD but I had a hard time even talking about my infertility struggles for years after my two kids were born. It's an incredibly difficult and painful experience so I think it's normal to have those feelings. I disagree that you need medical help, necessarily -- sounds like you are just remembering sad times. It doesn't sound like these feelings are interfering with your life or parenting at all. They will get less strong with time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to see your OB and/or a counselor. It sounds like possibly PPD.

That being said, it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive and you conceived 3 times in that amount of time. Miscarriages are not uncommon either. So you are not alone, but the feelings you are having need to be addressed by a medical professional.

I agree it's probably PPD, especially given the fact that you didn't struggle with infertility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to see your OB and/or a counselor. It sounds like possibly PPD.

That being said, it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive and you conceived 3 times in that amount of time. Miscarriages are not uncommon either. So you are not alone, but the feelings you are having need to be addressed by a medical professional.

I agree it's probably PPD, especially given the fact that you didn't struggle with infertility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to see your OB and/or a counselor. It sounds like possibly PPD.

That being said, it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive and you conceived 3 times in that amount of time. Miscarriages are not uncommon either. So you are not alone, but the feelings you are having need to be addressed by a medical professional.

I agree it's probably PPD, especially given the fact that you didn't struggle with infertility.

Yes, she did.

[Anonymous]

I had to do IVF for each pregnancy (TTC 2+ years each time) and while i now have 3 incredible children (twins and a singleton) I still get a tinge of jealousy when I hear of someone who gets pregnancy easily and without years of disappointment, scheduled sex, several hundred negative tests, days of crying in the work bathroom after getting my period for the 20th straight month despite perfect timing, etc. etc.

I actually (TMI) got my period today and I too had a flashback to feelings of complete disappointment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to see your OB and/or a counselor. It sounds like possibly PPD.

That being said, it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive and you conceived 3 times in that amount of time. Miscarriages are not uncommon either. So you are not alone, but the feelings you are having need to be addressed by a medical professional.

I agree it's probably PPD, especially given the fact that you didn't struggle with infertility.

Yes, she did.

Medically speaking, she did not suffer from infertility (Two ending in miscarriage is still statistically normal). That being said, something does not have to be medically diagnosed as "infertility" for someone to have PTSD related to the experience. It's obvious that OP is struggling with a lot of the fears and saddness she felt during the time she tried to have #2. Even if it's not "infertility" in the medical community, this sounds like it was very traumatic for her, and she self-identifies as an infertile, so maybe we should lay off OP's terminology and focus on helping her. I do agree, she should be screened for PPD first (even six months post partum, PPD is still possible), and if everything checks out, this could be a form of PTSD.

OP, I struggled for four years to have #1, and I still have moments when it all come backs to me. I used to see my RE for basic GYN, but switched doctors a year ago, just so I wouldn't have to go back to that place -too many tough memories. I also suffered from PPD after my son was born. I have been in your shoes, and I know how helpless it feels. Please know that you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

18:26, what is wrong with you? OP couldn't get pregnant, or stay pregnant, for over a year. During that time she didn't magically know that she ever would be able to carry a child again. That's what secondary infertility looks and feels like. They considered treatments. What does the medicial definition of infertility add to this year of her life?

How long does someone have to go without getting pregnantn for it to "count" as infertility in your eyes? Geesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to see your OB and/or a counselor. It sounds like possibly PPD.

That being said, it can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive and you conceived 3 times in that amount of time. Miscarriages are not uncommon either. So you are not alone, but the feelings you are having need to be addressed by a medical professional.

I agree it's probably PPD, especially given the fact that you didn't struggle with infertility.

Ugh. What is the point of the last sentence in this comment? I'm sure PP means well, but to someone who struggled to get pregnant or stay pregnant, it is so not helpful. When I miscarried, so many people said, at least you can get pregnant! Yes, I can also miscarry, apparently. It is so hard because how can you begrudge well-meaning people? I felt awful that a small part of me couldn't look past that they just wanted to say something supportive but failed.

Anyway, as for PTSD, I know what you mean. Afte struggling to become pregnant the first time, I was fortunate to become pregnant with a second child unexpectedly with no issues (so far at 7 months). So, why am I having such a hard time bonding with this second (well, fourth, technically) easy pregnancy? I find myself holding back in case something goes wrong. Will I be the one with the 39 week stillborn?, and other irrational thoughts that I keep to myself.

You are not alone, OP! I'm sending you virtual hugs.

[Anonymous]

I experienced no depression or other problems after first child (conceived after 3 years of trying). But when I checked out of the hospital with #2 (after 5 years of trying), the nurse told my husband "watch for signs of depression -- it's very common in fertility patients after giving birth."

Boy, did she know what she was talking about. DC is 2 years old, and I've only recently pulled out of my tailspin. I really think that it's due in part to the hormonal roller coaster that I was on for so long. The other part is that I no longer need to repress all the feelings of anger, helplessness. loss of control, etc. It was bottled up so long as I was still trying to conceive. Now the family is complete, and I just let it all out. Poor DH.

[Anonymous]

Depending on OP's age she didn't reach the first requirement of infertility: 6 months to a year of trying to conceive naturally without any pregnancies. In addition she also didn't meet the requirement of >2 miscarriages to warrant an investigation or classification of RLP. I wonder if OP has been given misleading information or if this is something she has told herself as a result of her PPD. Either way she should see her OB so that she knows that while she suffered losses she isn't infertile and to get help for what is mostly likely depression.