Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Serena
Lilah

[Anonymous]

Jolene

[Anonymous]

Sophie
Justin

[Anonymous]

Atlas 4 months

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Atlas 4 months

Atlas!? Mom and Dad enjoyed being DINKs for a VERY long time and held out as long as they could on kids until biological clock issues were about to arise. They swear up and down that life will not change with a baby and they will school him on the finer things in life and he will be that kid going to adult dinner parties, fancy restaurants, and traveling the world. They will NEVER step foot in a chuckie cheese, get on the birthday party circuit, or subject themselves to weekends on the soccer field bc they and their DS will have better things to do than the average family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cameron & Dylan (live in Brooklyn - if it matters)

You spend a lot of time online- even in forums based on cities where you no longer live. It's better than dealing with those bitches at the park slope food coop. Dylan and Cameron (both girls) wear lots of black and love taking the IKEA ferry into Manhattan to go shopping with you at Soho. You wish they had better hobbies and signed them up for some sort of dance class at the armory. They mostly just sat around the track talking to their friends instead of dancing. At least they're cool- you couldn't handle it if they were as shy as you. Besides as long as they're out of the house you can "work" (really browse online forums, especially DCUM explicit and urban baby).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any interest in "foreign" names (born and being raised here though to 2nd gen parents) - Jibrel & Mikhael

You are either hyper-religious or the definition of trying to hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any interest in "foreign" names (born and being raised here though to 2nd gen parents) - Jibrel & Mikhael

You are either hyper-religious or the definition of trying to hard.

*too

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Michelle
Stephanie
Michael

Stephanie is 34, Michelle is 31, and Michael is 38. All of them wish you'd stop referring to them as babies and would prefer if you'd take on a more active role as a grandma. You loved Full House and are obsessed with Fuller House. You just love that DJ Tanner, especially how she's such a good host on the view. She really is bringing some sense back to that show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jolene

You love country, and got pregnant while on an extended visit to Dollywood. You took that as a sign, and decided to name your baby Jolene. You don't love DC, but you do love how few people make the connection between your child's name and the song. You love big hair, sequins, and cleavage and don't care that it's not the look in DC.

[Anonymous]

Giuliani Francecsea

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atlas 4 months

Atlas!? Mom and Dad enjoyed being DINKs for a VERY long time and held out as long as they could on kids until biological clock issues were about to arise. They swear up and down that life will not change with a baby and they will school him on the finer things in life and he will be that kid going to adult dinner parties, fancy restaurants, and traveling the world. They will NEVER step foot in a chuckie cheese, get on the birthday party circuit, or subject themselves to weekends on the soccer field bc they and their DS will have better things to do than the average family.

snickering oh wow!! We are so not that way. Actually really down to earth. Dh and I are both 34. He will be our one and only. He does have some world traveling to do----s.Africa is his first trip and then we settle for a year or two. Awww... I bet if you met me in real life you would be surprised how we are the total opposite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sophie
Justin

You're Canadian. And liberal. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo liberal that it hurts. Like, literally -- Sophie held little Bobby from daycare in a chokehold because he said that his mommy and daddy support Donald Trump. You later explained that she was being a "strong, independent womyn" at the ensuing parent-teacher conference to eye-rolls and deep sighs, but to your undying pride and joy.

You see, you and your husband have known Sophie and Justin Trudeau since you were a wee high-school sweetheart couple. You all were best friends and promised to name the children after one another. Hence you (Ella-Grace) and your husband Xavier share names with the Trudeau kids.

You used to volunteer for NOW after moving to DC, where Xavier worked for SOME, but stopped when you had kids. Now, you and your family enjoy the joys of all that Brookline has to offer, but will move into a small place in Shaw soon. You're super excited and can't wait until your children start in DCPS -- it's public education all the way or go home. You do practice what you preach politically, which makes people respect you.

Justin is a sensitive kid, who needs to express himself through drawing, making animal shadows and baby yoga. Sophie is interested in kiddie Crossfit so that she can kick Bobby's butt some more from daycare for his "bad" ways; his parents have already arranged for him to transfer to a new daycare next week. When she grows up, though, she'll work for the AEI and Justin will get a Ph.D. in English Literature and will teach at Wesleyan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Atlas 4 months

Atlas!? Mom and Dad enjoyed being DINKs for a VERY long time and held out as long as they could on kids until biological clock issues were about to arise. They swear up and down that life will not change with a baby and they will school him on the finer things in life and he will be that kid going to adult dinner parties, fancy restaurants, and traveling the world. They will NEVER step foot in a chuckie cheese, get on the birthday party circuit, or subject themselves to weekends on the soccer field bc they and their DS will have better things to do than the average family.

snickering oh wow!! We are so not that way. Actually really down to earth. Dh and I are both 34. He will be our one and only. He does have some world traveling to do----s.Africa is his first trip and then we settle for a year or two. Awww... I bet if you met me in real life you would be surprised how we are the total opposite.

I know an Atlas, but he's a preschooler. His parents are awesome! I wonder if that is you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sophie
Justin

You're Canadian. And liberal. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo liberal that it hurts. Like, literally -- Sophie held little Bobby from daycare in a chokehold because he said that his mommy and daddy support Donald Trump. You later explained that she was being a "strong, independent womyn" at the ensuing parent-teacher conference to eye-rolls and deep sighs, but to your undying pride and joy.

You see, you and your husband have known Sophie and Justin Trudeau since you were a wee high-school sweetheart couple. You all were best friends and promised to name the children after one another. Hence you (Ella-Grace) and your husband Xavier share names with the Trudeau kids.

You used to volunteer for NOW after moving to DC, where Xavier worked for SOME, but stopped when you had kids. Now, you and your family enjoy the joys of all that Brookline has to offer, but will move into a small place in Shaw soon. You're super excited and can't wait until your children start in DCPS -- it's public education all the way or go home. You do practice what you preach politically, which makes people respect you.

Justin is a sensitive kid, who needs to express himself through drawing, making animal shadows and baby yoga. Sophie is interested in kiddie Crossfit so that she can kick Bobby's butt some more from daycare for his "bad" ways; his parents have already arranged for him to transfer to a new daycare next week. When she grows up, though, she'll work for the AEI and Justin will get a Ph.D. in English Literature and will teach at Wesleyan.

*Brookland, not Brookline -- silly autocorrect