third trimester doctor appts

[Anonymous]

My husband's schedule will be incredibly busy from Labor Day until about 3 weeks before my due date, so I don't think I will ask him to come to every single doctor appointment.

Are there some key appts in the third trimester that he should come to? Obviously if I get a sonogram (which I don't think I will) I'll have him come to that....but for folks who've been through it before, any suggestions about the most important appointments for him to come to?

He is coming to a daylong lamaze class with me, fyi.

[Anonymous]

I am 37.5 weeks and my husband has only come to the sonograms. So far in the third trimester, there is nothing different or special about these appointments (the pelvic exams start at 38 weeks in my office, but I don't think that he needs to see that, either). I know lots of women like to have their husbands along, but I have had a completely routine pregnancy so far (knock on wood) and saw no reason for my husband to come with me just to watch me get weighed, get my blood pressure taken, and get my stomach measured. You can always ask your husband if he has any specific concerns and make sure to present them to the doctor.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Is there an appointment where you talk more in detail about the actual labor and delivery with the doctor?

[Anonymous]

First PP here again. With my doctor, there is not one specific appointment where it's scheduled that you talk about it -- I just ask my doctor whenever something occurs to me.

I will say that we did not take a day-long Lamaze class, but my husband and I did take a "weekend express" childbirth class and that was probably the most helpful thing for both of us when it came to learning about labor and delivery. We didn't really learn anything brand-new, but it was a nice confirmation that yes, I kind of know what to expect. He got a much better idea of what would happen when I went into labor, how to help me breathe (though not specifically a Lamaze class), the epidural and medications and c-sections are discussed, there was a hospital tour, etc. You might want to think about one of those (maybe between like 32-36 weeks). Mine was through Momease and occurred at GW, because that's where I'm delivering, but I'm sure every hospital has one.

[Anonymous]

You can ask your Dr. to schedule a specific appointment to discuss labor and delivery if you want to. But I just bring up stuff as I go. Be aware that after 35-36 weeks you will be getting internal exams too--husband may not want to be there for that, depending on squeamish level!

[Anonymous]

My didn't come to any of my appointments except my first trimester sonogram and my 20-week sonogram. We also went to lamaze classes and took the hospital tour together. In the last trimester, you are in and out of the doctor's office very quickly. Honestly, I don't think it will be worth his time. His time would be much much better spent helping you practice breathing techniques and giving you massages at home during the last trimester.

[Anonymous]

Ditto, my husband has only come to sonos. I really don't think there's any need for him to come to every single doctor's appointment. (OP, has he come to all of yours so far?)
We'll do the class at the hospital on labor and delivery together.

[Anonymous]

Nothing special about the third trimester appointments. And there's not a specific appointment to talk about labor and delivery (in fact, many doctors don't bring it up). So if you want to talk about it, then raise it at whatever appoinment DH is around for.

And for the poster who says DH may be too squeamish for an internal and may not want to go; I say, make him go because if he's too squeamish for that he'll be worthless during the labor and delivery!

[Anonymous]

OP here - no, I have told him to skip one or two (including the upcoming one with my diabetes test). But most of my appts...7 weeks, 12 weeks, 21 weeks have had sonograms. He skipped the 16 week one where I didn't have one.

Thanks for all the good advice!

[Anonymous]

When the appts come fast and furious at the end, I found it impossible to justify that both DH and I were spending all that time at the doctor's office. It was bad enough that I had to go so often and wait around for 45 min for a 5 min appt (heartbeat's ok, not dilated yet, see you in a week...).
This can go on the how 2nd babies are different topic too -- I think DH went to one appt with me in the whole 41 weeks.

[Anonymous]

So 1st pregnancy - husband went to sonograms and to milestone events like genetic screening counselling etc
2nd pregnancy - husband went to first sonogram and that may be it, I don;t remember
3rd pregnancy - hasn't been to a single appt because he is with the kids when I go - I wasn't about to either pay the nanny overtime or schedule the appts such that they cut further into my workday than they already do.

I know first babies are different - but really, there is no need to have your husband there unless you are feeling like you need the emotional support for some reason. Have him save up his time off for when the baby is born!