2 year old hits other kids

[Anonymous]

My 26 month old will not stop hitting other kids. He hits them totally unprovoked and for no reason. DC usually finds one child to pick on and will continously hit them every chance he gets for no reason. I have been using time out for 2 mintues each time and consistently telling DC not to hit and why we don't hit....but DC keeps repeating the behavior. We have never used spanking or hitting as punishement. I really don't know what is causing this behaviour and how I can stop it. Any thoughts other than time out? Thanks!

[Anonymous]

When I have seen kids who do this, normally it is because the parental authority is not firm enough. They don't change their tone, and they don't get down on the child's level. My son went through the same phase and there would be 1 timeout and then the second time we would leave. This is hard to do. We would have to leave the pool, the playground, a birthday party once, and playdates. He got the message. I know people say this all the time, but TRULY you have to be consistent, even if that spoils your time with friends.

Now, all I have to do it LOOK at the timeout corner (which we often have to estabilsh when we are outside our home environment) I drag a small mat around in my bag that is the time out mat. When he starts to act out, the timeout mat gets pulled out and he gets his TO. A look in the direction of my bag that contain the mat, stops the behavior dead in its tracks. He knows if he makes it to the mat, the second time will be us leaving.

[Anonymous]

My daughter went through a phase like this when she was a little younger than your child, and what we did was the first time she hit or pushed the child, she got a time out. The second time she hit or pushed the child, we left the park and went home. This phase lasted about 2 months, and then she stopped doing it. I don't know if it was because of how I handled it, or because she grew out of this phase on her own.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks. I will try leaving the situation after the 1st time out. It was hard today b/c the playdate was at our house. I suppose I could send DC to their crib if the behavior repeats a 2nd time. I do talk in a firm, raised voice and get down to DC's level after the time out....but I think the added punishment of leaving the playdate might help. Thanks for the replies!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I have seen kids who do this, normally it is because the parental authority is not firm enough. They don't change their tone, and they don't get down on the child's level.

I called it using the "Voice of Doom" when my daughter was young, a voice so low and terrible there is no question that mom is mad and dd is in trouble. OP, I don't know if you are not being firm enough or not but if this is what is happening with you, remember, it's important to make it clear that what they are doing is wrong first and then explain later.

That and the old "1, 2, 3" technique. "If you don't stop doing A by the time I count to 3, I will do B." And B is something you can and will do right away. As PPs have noted, for something that serious, you may just have to leave in order to get it across to dc that there will be major consequences for this behavior.

That said, I don't know if this is an issue for you or not so take it for what it's worth! Good luck!