Risk taking behavior in 12 year old girl.

[Anonymous]

I am out of my wits angry right now. My DD has been exhibiting strange behavior in regards to risk taking for about a year now. She has put herself and her siblings in danger quite a few times by doing things that she knows are wrong. We have clear rules on many of the activities we do as a family, and my DD will take it upon herself to change the rules or disregard things we have told her. I can't go into too many details but the most recent incident could have killed someone if it had happened at the right time. Of course DD says it was safe and that no one was in danger, but the truth is she didn't get permission or check to see if it was safe. She is a smart and normally caring child. It is almost as if her eyes sort of glaze over for a minute and she just forgets what is expected of her. I fear for the teenage years. I wonder if counseling is in order, or if I should punish her. It is hard to punish her because she is sort of ambivalent about things, and really does not care if I take things away. She is the oldest child. I worry about my other kids and their safety. I think about her getting her driver's license and babysitting. I wouldn't trust her for a second.

[Anonymous]

bump

[Anonymous]

OP, clearly the next step, if you haven't already taken it, is to take your daughter to a psychiatrist for diagnosis and treatment. If people's safety is being endangered to such a serious extent, better do this quickly. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP, I can appreciate your not wanting to go into details, but it would help to understand your concern. In this area, we have so many helicopter and overprotective parents that it's hard to tell if you have a real problem or not.

[Anonymous]

Unless you give us some extreme example, this sounds like normal teenage behavior. Teenagers take risks and test their boundaries.

[Anonymous]

"For a diagnosis" seems extreme, but for help, is completely reasonable.

[Anonymous]

risk taking can be a sign of ADD/ADHD; it stems from the impulsivity. Talk to her pediatrician about how to get her evaluated. And yes, even if she is ADD and did something irresponsible she should face consequences, just formulate the punishment when your anger has subsided and you can think cooly.

Regardless if she's not ADD/ADHD, she should still probably talk to a therapist about why this might be happening if she truly is putting others in harms way. Good Luck and take deep cleansing breaths...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I can appreciate your not wanting to go into details, but it would help to understand your concern. In this area, we have so many helicopter and overprotective parents that it's hard to tell if you have a real problem or not.

+1

-parent of risk taking 14 yo who I think will turn out fine - can we have some context with details or non-essential facts changed?

Also - a family counselor has been an invaluable resource for us. building a relationship early on enables you to go back to check in when things really get bad.