First Trimester fears

[Anonymous]

Hi,

I suffered a m/c 6months ago and am now happily pregnant. I am 6 weeks and have been having the most terrible time trying not to dwell on my past miscarriage. Every time I go to the bathroom, I expect to see blood. Because of my prior issue, my OB has been seeing me once a week and doing sonograms. Yesterday, we saw the heartbeat and she told us that the baby is in a great position and looks fantastic. I am just having a hard time not thinking about it. I thought I had mourned the loss before, but now I'm not so sure I did. Anyone else in this boat? My OB says most m/c's happen in weeks 6-8 so I feel like I need to get through a few more weeks of nervousness. I've been trying to keep my mind off of it, but it has been hard. TIA for your thoughts.

[Anonymous]

I posted a similar query probably about 2 months ago - you can search the archives for anxiety or something along those lines and you'll probably find other queries as well. The responses were mainly from people who'd been there and sympathized, but overall I"m not sure that anyone can say anything at this stage that will totally calm your nerves. FWIW, I'd had a m/c at 10w and had lots of early bleeding with this pregnancy and basically didn't feel I could make it through however many more weeks of insecurity. I'm now at 13w and all is well so far... at some point I found that I began to stop panicking every time I went to the bathroom or felt a twinge. I can't say that I feel calm yet, but the sense of being paralyzed is definitely gone. So for me the only thing that made it easier was the passing of time, which is not much comfort I know. The other suggestion would be to give yourself other things to look forward to each week so you don't find your mind constantly drifting to the calendar count or what-ifs. Best of luck!!

[Anonymous]

I have to say at 8 months I still regularly check the tp. I can't help it. One thing that has gotten me through is setting mile-stones. So, 8 weeks, 13 weeks (time of last miscarriage), 20 weeks, 24 weeks, 30 weeks. Gave me reassurance each time I hit a point. Good luck and congratulations!

[Anonymous]

I am also around 6 weeks pregnant and, although I have not had a miscarriage, I keep freaking out. I already have one healthy baby and no indications of issues, but I have been having very irrational fears this time. I have had several close friends who have miscarried (after I had baby #1), so I think I am more aware of it this time.

The really crazy thing is that feeling as nauseous as I do reassures me, because I hope it means I am still pregnant.

I have not had any issues, so the OB/GYN doesn't want to see me until 9 or 10 weeks and I am just counting down the days. I really can't wait to see the heartbeat - will rest easier then.

Hang in there!!!

[Anonymous]

Congrats on your pregnancy. I have to tell you I am going through a bit of the same thing. I am only about 5 weeks, will not see the doctor for three more weeks, and if I let myself, I will completely worry. I have a history of one MC and one ectopic. I also have a healthy child. I have been trying to focus really hard on the fact that most miscarriages are not preventable, so worrying about it isn't going to help me or my baby. And I know this may seem silly, but I also think of all the people in the world who probably do not take very good care of themselves or even know they are pregnant until much further than I, and they have healthy children, so why shouldn't I? Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

I agree with 23:03. Worrying about it won't change the outcome whatever the outcome ends up being so you might as well not worry about it. I know that that is easier said than done. I suggest you get yourself busy in order to get your mind off your pregnancy: for example, if you work, volunteer to work more/do additional work assignments or if not or if you don't want to do that, get yourself involved in activities such as yoga for example if that is something you are interested in (yoga is good b/c it helps you relax) or whatever activity you are interested in (if you like to learn foreign languages, enroll in a class; if you like to paint, paint...etc). I am sure there is some kind of activity you would be interested in doing or else just get yourself busy socially: go out with friends, get involved in your community...etc. Get yourself busy b/c when you are very busy, you have a lot on your mind and that will prevent you from always thinking about the possibility of a miscarriage. I hope this helps. Good luck.